Previously on Kidding...
I think I killed Peter.
Peter is in critical condition.
When Jill comes back, I'm gonna tell her everything.
Under no circumstances
should you tell her.
He needs a new liver within two days
or it will fail.
I'm a universal donor. Just say the word.
- 你为什么想要捐献 - 因为做出正确的事情
- Why do you want to do this? - Because it's important
to do the right thing.
Peter didn't walk into traffic.
That's a dick.
Wait until she puts on the shoes.
Mm. Now it's a dick wearing shoes.
We have research that shows
that children who enjoy this toy
are 43% more likely to eat their vegetables.
Well, my research shows
that children who enjoy this toy
are 43% more likely to eat a dick.
Jeff's Christmas tree lighting speech
was... a lot of things,
but mainly, it was a brilliant ad
for Talk-To-Me Pickles.
Every child in America wanted that toy.
But we can't rest on our laurels.
To corner our best selling product "I'm listening."
Listening to the market demand for a follow-up toy
like Play-With-Me Pickles.
I'm sorry, but neither of you were here
for the great Pickle Wiggler fiasco of 1993.
Picture that thing, but vibrating and free,
at the bottom of a cereal box.
No, you don't want this on your hands
or in theirs, for that matter.
Think of something else.
Stop touching them together.
- 那是个很好的开始 - 我说
- That's a good start. - Look,
we can put out any toy you want,
but we can't sell albums if the band's not on tour.
- 那是个更大的问题 - 我向你保证
- That's the bigger issue. - I promise you,
Puppet Time will be back on the air within six months.
You have my word.
That's probably another offer
coming through even as we speak... excuse me.
Jeff did what?
When Phil died...
did you donate his organs to other people?
No, we didn't.
You know how your father is.
Anyone whose life he touches
becomes another member of the family.
If we gave Phil's lungs to someone,
your dad'd just end up
paying for that guy's kid to go to college,
painting his house.
I didn't want that.
And on the 12th day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me 60% of his liver.
For more on one gift that certainly won't be returned
this holiday season, we go live to Saint...
For what it's worth, I told him to lie.
For what it's worth, I wish he had.
We'll be beginning the procedure soon
if you'd like to see your husband beforehand.
Or your boyfriend.
I'll be back.
Twenty bucks... buy yourself a soda or something.
Have you ever thought
that maybe this is all your fault?
For calling him a pussy so many times?
Not until you said something.
Which one do you think is gonna die?
If Peter wakes up,
do you think she'll talk to me again?
Through her lawyer.
I'll talk to her.
What are you gonna say?
I'll make things right, I promise.
杰夫 我是拉班克医生 你主刀医生
Jeff, I'm Dr. Labanc, your surgeon for the procedure.
- 你好 - 这位是
- Hello. - This is
Dr. Gimple, your anesthesiologist.
He's subbing in today from County.
腌黄瓜先生 有我在 保证你
Mr. Pickles, you can feel anything at all...
except on my watch.
Okay to wheel you in?
I'll be here when you wake up.
Talk to her.
He looks so peaceful.
Oh, he's in a lotta pain.
Is there a particular kind of music
you'd like to have on during the procedure?
I'm partial to Brahms' Hungarian Dance No. 2.
You know, they say he composed his best piece for the organ.
But they never said which organ.
Is that a liver joke or a penis joke?
Oh, it's both.
Okay, Mr. Pickles,
I need you to breathe in through your nose.
And count down from ten for me.
- 9 - 顺带一提
- nine... - By the way,
my son really enjoyed your Christmas speech.
I didn't much care for it.
Breathe in. Eight...
- 3 - 怎么请求支援
- Three... - How do I get back up?
- 2 - 怎么请求支援
- Two... - How do I get back up?
- 1 - 怎么请求支援
- One. - How do I get back up?
See you at the bottom.
Oh, God, there he is!
Be quiet, you foolish man!
Snagglehorse? Is that you?
Uhh! You... You stay away from us!
He's got a knife!
He's going to murder us all, like that handsome doctor!