Previously on Kidding...
In six weeks, I'm gonna be dead.
Bad fucking table!
I have a lot of pent-up anger, and I don't know
where it's coming from or how to stop it.
Pickles On Ice,
starring Mr. Pickles himself, as played
by gold medalist Tara Lipinski.
Hi, I'm Jeff.
Let's meet the writers I hired.
Rabbi Michael Epstein.
是的 我信仰上帝 但我也有幽默感
Yeah, I'm a man of God, but I'm also funny.
He's not me. Peter's not me,
Tara Lipinski's not me.
I know a place where we can light up.
No one moved in. It's just sitting here.
Let there be light.
Best beginning in the history of beginnings.
Makes "Call me Ishmael"
sound like the pickup line of a diseased sailor.
Wait, do you guys smell that?
A little later on, after floods
and pestilence, and a gazillion "begot" s,
God tells us "I make good,
and I create evil."
"If there is light, there is dark.
"If life, there is death."
等等 威尔 不要
Wait, Will, don't!
But for every bad thing God does,
he does a good thing, too.
There is always a balance,
and every action has its equal
- and its opposite. - Your case
is more aggressive. I'm so sorry.
During your tenure on Earth,
you will never know
how the events of your life
add to and subtract from the... calculus
Anyway, my girlfriend made these cookies.
They embody the universe.
They're good, but not great.
You okay, little Nunchuck?
Why didn't we die?
Yeah, why didn't we die?
Dudes, I think it's that time.
Time to blaze and glaze.
"Blaze and glaze"?
I think the house did explode,
and when it did,
we left that universe behind,
that there's a parallel reality
in which we are deceased
and BD does not persist in making
high-end Judaica for my mother.
Everyone deserves a nice menorah.
Why are we calling him Nunchuck now?
威尔 好威尔猎手 猎手
Will, Good Will Hunting, hunting.
I hunt with nunchucks.
Do you have a guardian angel, Cassidy?
How about you, Nunchuck?
Do you remember me?
I mean, I know who you are.
Yeah, I had this brother Phil,
- He, uh... - Right.
He got shot. My sorrys.
No. Car accident.
Some kid got shot.
Oh, I'm... sorry.
That's okay. I think it was in Utah.
How's your brother doing?
对 死了 对不起
That's right. My sorrys.
Look, he had this list of girls.
Well, he wanted to tell you something,
but never got the chance.
I'm not coming back here.
It's just the first-line chemo.
You'll have better luck with the second line treatment.
I'm not coming back here,
not on my own, anyways.
Close your eyes.
Take as much time as you want.
Now tell me the story of the rest of your life.
We leave the building, we go to the car,
I rip up the parking ticket, I go home,
I flush about 30 pounds of pills into the toilet.
I eat a bowl of brownie batter.
I remember that I will have no legacy.
I remember that I will be forgotten.
I remember that I bought
a gray wig to experience a semblance of old age,
take out my bucket list,
check off "Fucked Mr. Pickles."
我买♥♥了一件黑色的裙子 然后等着 就这样
I buy a black dress, and wait. That's it.
Keep going like that wasn't it.
But that's it.
Vivian's not doing well.
Well, she's quietly dying of cancer.
It would be weird if she were.
I don't want her to go.
Oh, I'm sorry. Of course you don't.
This is hers.
Can you make her old?
Keep thinking about
all the conversations that we're not gonna have.
You know, it's like...
what the story of our life would be,
yours and mine,
if half the pages were ripped out.
I-I think I know what you want.
I know you do.
If you ever wanna talk, about anything,
you can talk to me.
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