Previously on Kidding...
Pickles on Ice,
starring Mr. Pickles himself, as played
by gold medalist Tara Lipinski.
I want my head back.
Pickles on Ice requires a Mr. Pickles, Jeff.
Otherwise, it's just Tara Lipinski
ice dancing through a fever dream.
♪ 今天的秘密配料 ♪
♪ Today's hidden ingredient ♪
He's some Croatian voice actor.
Maddy, we're not getting divorced.
This is Mr. Pickles-san.
He's gonna follow Uncle Jeff around for a few weeks
and then bring back what he learned to Japan.
英语 我... 不怎么样
English, eh... mm... not amazing.
You speak English?
I'm not speaking English.
What the actual fuck?
I'm in remission.
I love you so much.
现在我可以... 向前计划了 对不起
Now that I can plan ahead, I'm sorry.
Those plans don't involve you.
It'sss all so beautiful!
Every pain needs a name.
Excuse me. Hey.
Uh, can I buy three chickens?
Some college kid put it together.
We're sending a cease-and-desist.
- Has Jeff seen this? - We don't know.
Please get this game taken down
before he does. It'll upset him.
You won't like him when he's upset.
Today through December eighth
at the Columbus City Convention Center,
Tara Lipinski Visits Pickle Barrel Falls On Ice!
Get your tickets now.
Your father loves you, Jeff,
but he's going to animate you.
Who is this?
He doesn't want to, but he will.
He's asking all around Eastern Europe,
where talent is cheap and plentiful,
trying to find a voice like yours.
Am I on the radio?
He wanted me to call and threaten you.
我说 不 我是你的朋友
I said no. I'm your friend.
But there are hundreds like me, Jeff.
Time's running out. It's not too late.
Listen to your father, Jeff.
Fall in line, Jeff.
Your entire existence is at stake!
I learn English from watching your show.
Don't listen to that other guy.
I need this job.
I have a large Serbian family.
Little Ognjen needs his sarma!
Blow your fucking brains out.
I want to see your skull fragments
bounce off the White House windows!
Make me cartoon, pickle man.
Make me cartoon!
Please leave me alone.
Oops, you got me!
It's all so beautiful!
What are you guys playing?
I need something from you.
I spoke to our lawyers.
They're getting it taken down immediately.
Getting what taken down immediately?
Is the Pickles on Ice-tacular sold out?
Because St. Joan's said that I
could take 20 of my sick little pickle pals.
One of them, Brian,
has Landau-Kleffner syndrome.
His wish was to meet Ms. Lipinski.
I promised I would grant it.
What happened to my office, Jeff?
Did you do that?
Did you call several Serbian Jeffs?
I'm worried Vivian breaking up with you
the way she did has put you in a particularly dark place.
A woman is gonna live!
It's a miracle. We should be happy for her.
I know I am!
Tell you what: don't go to D.C. next week,
and I'll rethink turning you into a cartoon.
You're not turning me into a cartoon,
and I am going to D.C., because I
have to light the national tree.
I don't want you on live TV.
You're in too much pain.
I stood behind that podium
months after my son died,
and nobody tried to stop me.
I don't see why some
run-of-the-mill breakup suddenly tips the scales.
I'm beginning to think that last year was a mistake,
and I'm sorry,
but last year, your eyes were soft.
Your voice was a Mormon trumpet,
a peaceful horn.
Now you are a bagpipe of insanity.
This is not insanity.
This is how honesty looks
when you're inside out and upside down.
Jeff, you're having a breakdown.
I'm having a breakthrough.
You know, I've never seen you lie,
except to yourself.
I'll get the tickets for the ice show.
I'm glad you're coming around to it.
It'sss all so... agh!
♪ 醒来吧 ♪
♪ Waking up ♪
♪ 全力以赴 ♪
♪ And hit the ground running ♪
♪ 盯紧目标 我们会蒙上眼睛 ♪
♪ Eyes on the prize, we'll cloud our eyes ♪
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