中♥央♥公园
第一季 第二集
我爱中♥央♥公园的早晨
I love mornings in the park.
有阳光洒在林间 有小鸟 有松鼠
The light through the trees, the birds and the squirrels.
那是只松鼠吗
Is that a squirrel?
我看到了什么鬼东西
What the hell am I looking at?
无论如何 那么平和 那么安宁
Anyway, so peaceful, so tranquil.
至少室外是这样 那房♥子里就不是了
I mean, outside it is. Inside there, it's not.
我的短裤呢
Where are my shorts?
在烘干机里 记得吗
They're in the dryer. Remember?
我要负责洗 你要负责叠
I was gonna wash, you were gonna fold.
得赶紧拿出来 会变皱的
Gotta get 'em out. They're gonna be wrinkly.
妈 我心碎了
Mom, my heart is broken.
而且我找不到我的鞋了
And I can't find my shoes.
我大概不该去上学了 对吧
I should probably not go to school, right?
宝贝儿 我知道你还在为了那只狗伤心
Oh, honey, I know you're sad about that dog,
但你必须得去上学
but you have to go to school.
不好意思了 你的鞋把厨房♥都熏臭了
Sorry. Your shoes were stinking up the kitchen,
所以我把它们随手扔出去了
so I threw them somewhere.
天啊 这个味儿
Oh, God. The smell.
科尔的臭鞋 把楼梯都堵住了
Cole's shoes! They're blocking the stairs.
我被困住了 我试试跳过它们
I'm trapped up here. I'm gonna try and jump over them.
莫丽 小心熨斗
Molly, hot iron.
-爸爸慌了 -我才没有慌
- Dad's freaking out. - I'm not freaking out!
欧文这么慌是因为他还有大概一分钟
Owen's freaking out because he has a video conference call
就要参加公园联盟的视频会议了
with the Park League in about one minute.
而他觉得不♥穿♥裤子会令他看起来很不专业
And he thinks it'll look unprofessional if he's not wearing pants.
确实会如此
Which it will.
公园联盟是什么 你会问
Who's the Park League, you ask?
说个让人难以置信的中♥央♥公园小知识
Here's the crazy thing about Central Park.
这里百分之九十的资金都出自公园联盟
They get about 90% of their money from the Park League,
就是一群好心的有钱人们在七十年代联合起来
which basically is nice rich people who got together in the '70s
彻底改变了中♥央♥公园
to turn this place around.
这里以前是这样的
It used to look like this.
我才不要剪头发呢 爸爸
No, I won't cut my hair, Dad!
而现在它是这样的
But now it looks like this.
你想必早就知道它现在长什么样
Which you knew already 'cause of
因为你看过那些中♥央♥公园的照片和明信片
pictures and postcards of Central Park.
我打赌你在说 "为什么要告诉我这些呢
I bet you're saying, "Why tell me all this, Mr. Handsome,
帅气逼人但不太健康的街头艺人先生
albeit, slightly unhealthy, Busker?
为什么要放闪回片段还要讲联盟呢
Why show flashbacks and talk about leagues?
这是个什么超能联盟吗
Is it a super league of some kind?
这是个超级英雄的故事吗"
Is this a superhero story?"
也算是吧
Well, kind of.
今天欧文将会经历意想不到的考验
See, Owen will be tested today in a way he didn't expect.
莫丽真心想成为一个超级英雄
Molly truly wants to be a superhero
而她和哥哥科尔似乎还真的有这个机会
and just might get her chance along with her brother, Cole.
佩吉也会趟进这趟浑水
And Paige is gonna end up right in the middle of the action too.
虽然刚开始你可能会不以为然
Even though, at first, you'll be like...
这故事包括了公园联盟 这座城市 还有
It'll involve the Park League and the city and...
等着吧 等着吧
Just wait. Just wait.
还有两分钟视频会议就要开始了
My video call is in, like, T-minus two minutes,
我的短裤却还没上身
and I'm shortless.
亲爱的 摄像头拍不到你腰部以下
Honey, the camera's not gonna see below your waist,
除非公园联盟的人非要看你的腿
unless the Park League people insist on looking at your legs.
不过也不怪他们想看
And who can blame 'em?
来秀一个 给老娘看看 快点
Give us a quick strut. One for Mama. Come on.
-佩吉 别吧 -赶紧的
- Paige, no. - Come on.
就秀一下 给我点动力
Give me a quick hit just to get me going.
好啦 我要迟到了 我去上班了
Okay. I'm late. I'm off to work.
就穿这件皱巴巴的衣服上班吗
In that wrinkly blouse?
天啊 你是对的
Oh, God. You're right.
这就不是正经新闻记者该穿的衣服
This doesn't scream real deal news reporter.
这是家里没有镜子的可怜村姑穿的衣服
This screams sad, frumpy lady with no mirrors in her house.
给我用 给我用一下 拜托 马上就好
Okay, do me. Do me, please. Real quick.
这也太多我不想看到的家长身体部位了
So many parent body parts on display right now.
佩吉 我还有一分钟就要开视频会议了
Paige, I have a video conference in one minute.
所有人都出去 出去
Everybody, out! Out!
凭什么我妈就不用穿上衣
Hey. How come Mom doesn't have to wear a shirt?
我现在就脱了
Mine's coming off.
大家早上好
Good morning, everyone.
欧文 你是不是离得太近了 兄弟
Whoa, Owen. Little close, huh, buddy?
我们都能看进你的鼻腔了
We can see up your nose.
你本来就这样打算的吗
Is that what you were going for?
好了 现在好点没
There we go. Is that better?
没那么过分亲密了
It's less personal.
大家都认识很多植物
Right. So, you all know a lot of plants--
欧文 昨天滑板区是不是发生了抢劫案
Owen, was there a mugging yesterday in Skater's Circle?
是的 一起很小的案子 没人受伤
Yes. A tiny mugging. No one hurt.
是一起迷你劫案
Like a mini-mug.
我喜欢迷你的东西
I love mini things.
我们应该担心吗
Should we be concerned?
这可是个繁忙的区域 平时人都挺多的
That's a busy spot. Lots of people around usually.
不用担心 我早上刚去查看了
No. I'm headed over there now to check it out this morning.
一切都很好 一切尽在掌控
Everything's smooth. Everything's under control.
-我闻到烧焦的味道了 -不 不 不
- I smell burning. - No, no, no!
你的紧身白内♥裤♥还真是超级紧身啊
Your tighty whities are mighty tighty.
上帝啊
Good Lord!
这里就是佩吉工作的《纽约新鲜事报》的办公地点
These are the offices of Paige's newspaper, What's New, New York?
连续三年蝉联"全纽约最吸水报纸"
It's the city's most absorbent paper three years running.
我对我的第一篇直击报道有非常多想法
I have got a ton of ideas for my first hard-hitting news story.
第一 我矛头直指黑♥手♥党♥ 第二
Idea one, I go after the Mafia. Idea two--
我想要你去报道市议会合同委员会的会议
I want you to cover the City Council Contracts Committee meeting.
什么 合同委员会 太无聊了吧
What? Contracts committee? That's so boring.
这叫超本地化 对我们报纸是个好角度
It's hyperlocal. That's a good angle for us.
大报纸都已经放弃这种报道了
The big papers have dropped that kind of coverage.
超本地化 我还以为这只适用于蔬菜
Hyperlocal? I think maybe that only applies to vegetables.
佩吉 你的编辑昨天才同意让你报道新闻
Paige, your editor is giving you an assignment on the first day
现在他正在给你布置任务
after he agreed to let you cover news.
-好吧 -你把奶油奶酪蹭我门上了
- Fine! Yeah. - You got cream cheese on my door.
我这就给它蹭回来 开心了吗
I'm coming back for it! There. Happy?
不好 是下水道麦克
Oh, no. It's Sewerpipe Mike!
我们只能怪自己 是我们创造了他
We have no one to blame but ourselves. We created him.
不要把油脂倒进下水道 各位
Don't put grease down the drain, people.
也不要把婴儿湿巾冲下马桶
And don't flush baby wipes!
他有百分之四十都是婴儿湿巾组成的
He's almost 40% baby wipe!
但你才是会像婴儿一样被放倒的那一个
But it's you I'm gonna put down for a nap.
我挣脱不了
Can't get free!
坚持住
Hold on!
想得美
Nice try.
启动五秒时间回溯
Five-second rewind activate.
坚持住
Hold on!
好主意 汽油能溶解油脂 对吗
Nice thinking. Gas dissolves grease, huh?
是的 汽油是种强效溶剂
Yes. It's a powerful solvent.
好好洗洗 不然你美丽的皮肤会变干燥的
Just wash really well. It'll dry out your beautiful skin.
你刚说的是我美丽的皮肤吗
Did you say my beautiful skin?
-什么 -你说啥
- What? - What was that?
启动五秒回溯
Five-second rewind activate.
汽油能溶解油脂 对吗
Gas dissolves grease, huh?
是的 汽油是种强效溶剂
Yes. It's a powerful solvent.
好好洗洗 不然你的皮肤会变干燥的
Just wash really well. It'll dry out your skin.
不许吸烟 这众所周知 但现在尤其不能吸烟
And no one smoke, in general, but especially right now.
谢了 菲斯塔泡芙
Thanks, Fista-Puffs.
你无往而不利 一点都不别扭
You're so great at everything and not awkward at all.
等等 什么 你说"一点都不别扭"什么意思
Wait, what? What do you mean "not awkward at all"?
我的意思是 你一点都不别扭
Oh, I mean, you're just not awkward.
我知道 但你这么说让我觉得我很别扭
I know. But when you say that, it makes me think I am awkward.
不 不不不
No. No, no, no.
叹气
Sigh.
挺难过的 是吗
Feeling sad, I take it?
我懂 我懂 心...
I get it. I get it. The heart, it's...