What are you doing in here?
I thought you'd have people to shop for you.
I'm humble, I stay humble.
- Would you mind if I got a photo? - Of course not.
We love meeting fans.
Oh, my God.
He'll explode when he sees a selfie of me and his favourite players.
Um, right, say cheese.
Thank you. This will make his day.
Anyway, good luck with the football, boys.
- Thank you. - Nice to meet you. Cheers.
Look, I know this is a bit cheeky, but what the hell?
You did say you love meeting your fans.
I knew you was a cheeky one the second I saw you, Nicola.
Um, what are you doing now?
I live just around the corner,
and it would make Stuart's day
if you were there to surprise him when he got back from school.
He'll be home in about ten minutes?
I-I totally understand
if you've got other stuff to do.
But he's just had a bit of a rough time of it lately, is all.
-欺凌吗 -是的 他卷入了欺凌事件中
- Bullying? - He has been involved in some bullying incidents, yes.
Actually, we've got nothing going on this afternoon.
We'd love to.
Oh, wow. My God. This is great!
You boys are so sweet.
Let me just get a cake.
The least I can do is give you some tea.
Playing with fire, mate.
No. I'm taking time out of our day
to do something positive for someone else,
like Olivia said this morning.
I thought you'd have figured out by now,
Brains... there is no son.
She's after a foursome.
Which is why she's buying sponge cake?
I don't want to get in any trouble here.
What if the TED Talk guy is right?
The TED Talk guy, who doesn't exist, is not right, Jack.
Yeah? Well, let's see how she responds to his coded message.
"Can you recommend something
to get these lipstick stains off my penis?"
Not exactly the Enigma code, is it?
Please don't say that to her. Or any woman. Ever.
冷静 教皇 这是免费炮
Calm down, the Pope. It's a free hit.
You can't get #MeToo'd if they approach you.
Incorrect. On so many levels.
Haven't changed your mind, then?
Actually, while we're here,
maybe you can recommend something for getting, um...
...of my...my boxer shorts.
Oh, dear. Poor you.
Oh, well, when my son has tummy problems,
I normally use a Vanish tablet and a really hot wash.
Or just throw them away, to be honest.
No. I meant lipstick.
You want to get poo stains out of lipstick?
- Let's go meet Stuart. - Yeah.
And-And thank you so much again.
I have a feeling things are about to get very sexual.
He's usually straight back from school.
Shouldn't be much longer.
Can I have another can of Fanta, please?
Of course. Let me get that for you.
I love TED Talks. They're always bang on.
I don't know if I've got the energy for an orgy.
And what if her son comes back when we're all into it?
There is no son.
Yeah, all these photos of
this 14-year-old are just elaborate props.
And for clarity, even if she did want an orgy,
which she definitely doesn't,
I don't want an orgy with you.
Who with, then?
There you go.
Can I get you anything else?
How about a slice of your delicious pie?
Oh, I don't think I've got any.
Is cake OK?
Actually, I might have a pie in the freezer.
Have you ever shared your delicious pie? Three ways?
Three ways? Don't think so.
I think the portions would be too big.
I don't think the club would be too pleased if they found out
we'd been stuffing ourselves with pie, Benji.
I'm really sorry. I don't know where he's got to.
Ever since his dad left, he's been so emotional.
The only other times he's been late
has been because of the bullying.
- Are you all right? - Ooh, trapped nerve.
I get so stressed when I think about Stuart and the bullying.
I just need some pressure applied on my lower back.
- Will one of you help? - I've been told I've got magic fingers.
不 不 我在大学学过理疗
No, no. I took a physiotherapy module at university.
好 趴下 手臂伸过头顶
OK. Just lie face down. Arms out ahead.
-就像超人飞翔一样 就是这样 -这样吗
- Like Superman flying. There you go. - Like this?
没错 完美 我放松肌肉的时候
Yeah, perfect. While I release the muscle,
just slowly lift your arms.
I feel like if her son comes back now,
this isn't gonna look good.
There is no son.
-好点了吗 -嗯 有点缓解了
- Is that any better? - Yeah, it's easing up a bit.
Let me help.
-我就知道 -妈 搞什么
- Knew it. - Mum, what the fuck?!
Fucking right it's a surprise! What's going on?
My back went. Mattie was just helping me.
They've come here to cheer you up.
It's not fucking working.
It's a pleasure to meet you, Stuart.
I was starting to think you might not exist.
Who's this paedo?
They're football players. From your favourite team.
Well, he barely plays.
All right, mate.
This one, I've literally no idea who he is.
- I'm Mattie Sullivan. - Yeah. No idea.
这人不错 杰克·特纳 你还算过得去
All right, fair play, that's Jack Turner. You're decent.
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