what, less than 24 hours ago?
It's not quite as bad as it sounds.
Even though you're telling me
you've got a potential front-page-of-the-paper situation
regarding precisely what you were warned about yesterday?
OK, when you put it like that, it sounds pretty bad.
Right, where is he now?
We stole his phone and locked him in the video briefing room.
Course you did.
Happy? Got a lot of gear there.
- When am I meeting Petey? - Listen...
...you little prick, you're not meeting Petey Brooks.
Right, I'm going to the papers.
While you've been "shopping",
I've had our IT team hack your phone.
Some very, very interesting stuff in your search history.
不 那不是我搜的 我...
No, that's... That's not mine. I was, um...
We know every site you visited, every single one.
So, if you don't want your mum
to find out what you've been up to,
you'll keep your mouth shut, you little wanker.
Someone at school said it was funny,
and I only checked it out once.
Please, you can't tell my mum.
Take your shopping basket and fuck off!
That was amazing!
-我之前这样做过 一般都有效 -太棒了
- I've done it before. Usually works. - Amazing.
So, what kind of sites was he looking at?
Fucked if I know. Have you met our IT department?
They can barely work a phone, let alone hack one.
You bluffed him? Incredible.
The little shit must have
thought you knew about the bukkake videos.
Bukkake. Bukkake? Yeah, he kept mentioning it.
I don't know what you mean.
Well, bukkake is when multiple men, well,
unload their ejaculate simultaneously
onto a woman's face. Er...
Is that HR you're calling?
Bob, are you free?
Yeah, another octopus, I'm afraid.
Yes, yes, yes!
Guess who's had a story sold on them?
-那是好事吗 -是的 先生 我就是金钱
- And that's a good thing? - Yes, sir. I'm money.
Read it out, then.
"Top Prem star Benji Achebe
lives with his mum and has..."
"Top Prem star lives with his mom and has a tiny penis."
听着 这是假新闻 是我妈妈跟我一起住
Well, hey, listen, it's fake news, yeah? My mum lives with me.
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