Hey, guys. It's me, Miranda.
I'm from Tacoma, Washington.
我是个歌♥手 舞者 演员等等
I'm a singer, dancer, actress, et cetera.
So I thought I'd post this video
to show everyone how good I am. So...
That's what I'm doing.
So, anyways, I'm gonna sing a song for you guys now
and I hope you like it.
* Something has changed within me *
* Something is not the same *
* I'm through with playing *
* By the rules of someone else's game *
* Too long I've been afraid of *
* Losing love I guess I lost *
* Well, if that's love *
* It comes at much too high a cost *
* I'd sooner buy *
* Defying gravity *
* Kiss me goodbye *
* I'm defying gravity *
* They'll never bring me down *
* And nobody in all of Oz *
* No wizard that there is or was *
* Is ever going to bring me down *
* Bring me down *
- Yeah, I know. - Miranda...
Someday soon, and for the rest of their lives,
the world will thank us for this.
And your Uncle Jim was there to see it all.
Now, let's get this on the Internet immediately.
And it's on the Internet.
Miranda, this YouTube thing is gonna launch us
into my new Five Phase Plan for Fame.
I love it.
第一 拍一个爆火视频 第二 上电视
First, there's the viral video. Second, television.
Third, singing career.
第四 拍电影 第五 魔术师
Fourth, movies. Five, magician.
Bam! You're famous.
Sounds easy to me.
Well, it is easy.
The views should start pouring in any minute now.
- Okay, refresh. - Refresh.
- It is still zero. - It is.
But this is still exciting.
- The usual? - Obviously.
One Froze Toes coming up.
Fifty cents, please.
I just uploaded a video to the Internet.
Can I come in and see it?
不 帕特里克 我可忙了
No, Patrick, I'm really busy.
- Can't wait to go home and see it. - Yeah.
It's real good.
How many views do I have?
Still zero? Are you kidding me?
Would it make you feel better if we watch your video?
Yes, that will...
Yes, that will make me feel much more calm.
Okay, let's watch your video.
Okay, thank you.
You watch it.
-大家好 -我看着你看 好吗
- Hey, guys... - I'm gonna watch you watch it, okay?
- Okay, good. - I'm from Tacoma, Washington.
Just gonna watch you watch the video.
Mom, where's my breakfast?
I'm nuking it right now, honey.
该死 该死 该死
Shoot, shoot, shoot!
What is this? This still has the plastic on it.
Oh, it's just hard for me to grip.
You just have to poke it with a fork. Is that so hard?
The steam shot out. It almost burned me.
-多谢你了 妈妈 -对不起
- Thanks a lot, Mom. - I'm sorry.
Hey, I have... I have some news. Look, look, look.
I graded your quiz from yesterday,
and you're doing so much better this semester.
Last time you gave me three pluses.
- Is this some kind of joke? - No.
What happened to the other pluses, Bethany?
Learn how to grade papers next time, Mom. Okay?
Okay, all right.
Oh, the cream shot out of my package. Sorry.
Oh, that's all right. It landed on my buns.
I like 'em extra sticky.
Well, if you squeeze harder, more will come out.
- Oh, good idea. - Yeah.
- Hey, hey, hey, you guys. - All at once.
I just think you need to be careful, talking like that.
What are you talking about?
Well, people could get the wrong idea.
And what idea is that, Bethany?
That we like breakfast?
It just so happens that breakfast
is one of the most important meals of the day.
And if you don't think so,
I don't want to be part of this family.
好吧 吉姆 早饭是很重要
Okay, Jim. Breakfast is important,
Damn right, that breakfast is important.
Watch your language in this house.
You're dang right, it's important.
不 不 米兰达
No, no, Miranda.
Miranda, you need to leave some for your sister, please.
I wish I was an only child.
谢了 米兰达 我也爱你
Aw, thanks, Miranda. I love you, too.
艾米丽 听着 我快饿死了
Emily, listen, I am starving.
All I've had to eat today
is a couple of sticky buns, lots of extra cream,
a popsicle and a bag of salami.
What am I supposed to do?
- What is a bag of salami? - Emily...
you know what a bag of salami is.
Don't play dumb, we all know what a bag of salami is.
Anyway, have you guys noticed