Previously on "You Me Her"...
I love us.
不仅仅是啪啪啪 而是 我们
Not just the sex, but, like, us.
I know that you guys feel this just as much as I do.
We have careers. We have neighbors.
We're trying to have a baby, for God's sake.
So, you're afraid?
Of course we're fucking afraid.
You don't deserve me.
Do I really have to ask?
I fucked Andy, and I got to go.
I'm gonna go home.
You are home.
No, like home home,
as in Colorado.
I've been working crazy hours
on this huge pitch for a fancy new theater
at the Hamilton School where Jack works.
- 非常好 塔卡斯基夫人 - 谢谢
- Very well done, Mrs. Trakarsky. - Thank you.
It won't be official until the Alumni Board approves it.
- 校友董事会? - 什... 额 什么?
- The Alumni Board? - Sor... uh, sorry?
Weinstock is retiring as dean,
and he's recommending me as his replacement.
The Alumni Board has all your records.
They meet to discuss on Monday.
Can they really track my browser history?
This whole "Niece that fell from the sky" Issue
continues to bother me.
You find Jacqueline Isabelle's last name
and any social-networking site
that proves her and Jack's big sister
could pick each other out of a line-up,
let alone share DNA.
I thought this was supposed to be easy.
对啊 只要轻点一下鼠标 任何事都可以发生?
Yeah, whatever happened to click, bang?
I'm not exactly a Photoshop wizard.
It's about the position.
We need to have a talk.
So what about the position?
Your browsing history made us all feel sad and dirty.
不 不 不 这是... 我觉得这是...
No, no, no. That's... I think that's...
There's a million reasons for that, I think.
你知道的 我 就像 我...
You know, my, like, my...
my nephew once was watching, like,
"Dora the Explorer" On YouTube
然后 你知道的 他确实看了
and the next thing you know, he was actually watching,
like, a porn that was called "Dora the Explorer."
So it's very easy to go from point A to point B.
I think there's, like, those pop-up ads
that they have that just...
Are you fucking with me right now?
- 对啊 - 哦 天呐
- I am. - Oh, my God.
We need to talk about you being named dean today.
Meaning it's happening.
- 艾玛的公♥司♥赢得了竞标 - 真的?
- Emma's firm won the bid. - They did?
She'll probably make partner.
Oh, my God.
That... that is great.
That's... that's unbelievable.
Get a huge raise.
Lots of money coming in.
我是说 什么... 你在暗示什么?
I mean, what... what are you hinting at?
- 直说好了 - 听着 听着
- Just spit it out. - Look, look.
This isn't the first time in the past week
that you've showed up looking like
microwaved bison shit, Jack.
Okay. Can you fast-forward to the part
where you actually say what you're thinking?
I'm thinking about the guy
that I hired as a counselor 15 years ago.
I asked you why you wanted the job,
and you gave me the best no-bullshit answer
I've ever heard.
And... and keep in mind
that I've faced down thousands upon thousands of teenagers
and nobody can bullshit like a teenager.
哦 天呐 杰克
Oh, God, Jack.
I'm so fucking sick of teenagers.
Can you get to the part...
what... what did I say in the interview?
What was the line?
You said, "All I really want to do
is help as many kids as I can
make it safely and sanely
to the other side of 18."
I remember that.
That's not what I do as dean, Jack.
It's not part of the job description.
So, what do I do?
You know what?
相反 我打算告诉你什么是不能做的 好吗?
I'm gonna tell you what not to do instead, okay?
Don't do anything just because you can.
Don't do anything you don't love.
And don't do anything
because other people think you should.
Oh, don't do anything
because you're afraid to do something else.
How about that one, huh?
Have you ever wondered what if your best and truest
and happiest life was like nothing you ever imagined?
You know, do you ever wonder if you would have the...
the balls to live it?
Not nearly enough.
The board meets in an hour, Jack.
What do you want me to tell them?
I don't know.
My whole life I've just been living
a life that other people wanted me to live,
you know, with what was expected.
I've never actually done what I wanted to do.
And you're, like... for the first time,
I feel like I'm awake and that's thanks to you and...
Fuck if I know what you should tell them.
I'll rephrase that.
I don't want to be sitting here,
like, 25 years from now and leaving
戴着金表 以及... 以及... 无意冒犯 顺便说一句
getting the gold watch and... and... no offense, by the way.
I love... your gold watch was really...
I like that. It looks good on you.
Yeah. Thank you.
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