在开始今晚的片段表演之前
Before we start, uh, tonight's scene work,
我想花点时间谈谈我们的技能
I just want to take a moment to talk about our craft.
谈谈表演
Acting.
那么什么是表演呢
So what is acting?
当一个演员表演时 他或她
I mean, when an actor acts, what is he or she...
或是他们
or they...
实际是在做什么
actually doing?
某种程度上 答案很简单
Well, on one level, the answer is simple.
他们在编造故事
They're making believe.
他们在佯装
They are pretending.
但在更深的层面上 我们得扪心自问
But on a... on a much deeper level, we need to ask ourselves...
到底发生了什么
what is really happening.
好吧 你们得问我
Well, you need to ask me.
我想我是这里唯一一个没有室友的人
I think I'm the only one here who doesn't have a roommate.
到底发生了什么 听仔细了
What's really happening... and I want you to listen carefully...
实际情况就是 演员在扮演
What's really happening is that the actor is playing...
上帝
God.
说到底 上帝是做什么的
Because, after all, what does God do?
上帝创造万物
God creates.
上帝说"这里有一个世界" 嘭
God says "Here is a world," And bam!
这个世界便出现了
That world exists.
上帝说"这里有生命" 然后又嘭的一声
God says, "Here's life," And bam again!
生命出现了
Life happens.
上帝说"这里有死亡" 嘣
God says, "Here's death," And boom!
黑暗
Darkness.
黑暗再次降临
The darkness returns.
那这对我们意味着什么呢
So what does this mean to us?
我们要如何获取这些信息
How do we take this information
并把它带到我们的表演中去
and bring it into our work?
我亲爱的同事们 答案就是要像上帝一样
The answer, my dear colleagues, is that, like God,
我们必须热爱我们的创造
we must love our creations.
我们必须给它们灌输生命
We must imbue them with life,
带着特色 带着希望
with character, with hope
以及梦想和致命的缺陷 然后...
and dreams and fatal flaws, and then...
然后
Then...
我们必须放手
we must let them go.
因为最终
Because in the end...
真爱
true love...
上帝的爱
God's love...
便是放手
is letting go.
那个 桑迪
Yeah, uh, Sandy?
我明天要参加一个洗发水广♥告♥的试镜
Uh, I have an audition tomorrow for a shampoo commercial.
我要怎么爱上那个呢
How do I love that?
在你去之前洗洗头
Wash your hair before you go.
听着 热爱角色 而不是追求名利
Okay, love of character, not the pursuit of fame or money,
正是这些让伟大的演员 真正的艺术家...
is what separates the great actor, the true artist--
桑迪 还有一个问题 是潘婷的广♥告♥
Yeah, uh, Sandy, one more question. Uh, it's for Pantene.
什么洗发水不重要 好吗
Doesn't matter what the shampoo is, okay?
-洗头就是了 -谢谢
- Just wash your hair. - Thank you.
这就是为什么他是桑迪·柯明斯基 而我们不是
That's why he's Sandy Kominsky and we are not.
不管了 开始吧
Fuck it. Let's get started.
第一季 第一集
第一章 演员的逃避
恭喜
Congratulations.
抱歉 迟到了
Sorry I'm late.
我猜你是半天没想好戴哪条围巾吧
I assume you had a hard time picking out the scarf.
真的假的 我刚出门
Oh, really? Really? Right out of the gate,
你就挑我刺[踢我蛋]
you wanna bust my balls.
踢你的蛋易如反掌
They are a low-hanging fruit.
嗨 亚历克斯
Hello, Alex.
我要一杯杰克丹尼威士忌加冰
Um, I'm gonna have a Jack Daniel's on the rocks
和一听无糖胡椒博士 要吸管
and a diet Dr Pepper with a straw.
我真是瞧不起你喝酒的方式
I absolutely loathe the way you drink.
威士忌让我免得自杀
The Jack keeps me from killing myself,
碳酸饮料让我不会醉倒
and the Pepper keeps me regular.
情景喜剧的事怎么样了
So, how we doin' on the sitcom?
忘了这事吧 你不会想出演情景喜剧的
Forget it. You do not wanna be in the sitcom.
你说什么
What are you talkin' about?
大爆♥炸♥什么的那个剧里那些小屌♥丝
Those little pischers on the Big Bang thing,
他们一星期能挣一百万
they're making a million bucks a week.
桑迪 那种东西没营养 就是垃圾
Sandy, it's pablum. It's crap.
你可是史上最伟大的表演指导之一
You're one of the all-time great acting coaches.
你去广播网演情景喜剧像什么样子
What's it gonna look like, you doin' a network sitcom?
所以我没拿下那个角色
So I didn't get the part?
没有
No.
CBS想要更加种族多元化
CBS wanted to go more ethnic.
看看我这个形象 谁还能比我更种族多元化
Bu--Look at this profile. Who's more ethnic than I am?
黑人
Black people.
等等 他们选了黑人
Wait a minute. They're casting a black guy
扮演乔什·盖德的祖父吗
to play Josh Gad's grandfather?
他们把乔什换成了一个说唱歌♥手 叫卢达克里斯
They dumped Josh. They got some rapper, Ludacris.
卢迪克斯[荒唐]个屁 真是鬼扯
Ludicrous, my ass. It's bullshit.
不 那是他名字 卢达克里斯
No, that's his name. Ludacris.
-他叫什么名字 -卢达克里斯
- What's his name? - Ludacris.
-我说的荒唐 -不 那是说唱歌♥手的名字
- I said ludicrous. - No, the rapper.
那个说唱歌♥手怎么了
What about the rapper?
我勒个去 你没有拿下那个角色
Jesus Christ! You didn't get the sitcom.
-该死 -就是这样
- Shit. - Yeah.
看啊 为了你 他都是跑过来的
Look at this. For you, he runs.
谢谢你 亚历克斯
Thank you, Alex.
他们说会给你找一个
They said they'd keep you in mind
循环角色 或者是客串一下
for a recurring role or maybe a guest spot.
别掩饰了 我是个成年人
Please don't sugarcoat it. I'm a grown man.
我没在掩饰 我是在
I'm not sugarcoating. I'm...
撒谎
I'm lying.
明迪怎么样了
How's Mindy?
她很好 你知道的
She's great. You know, she's...
她是个了不起的孩子 真不知道没了她我要怎么管理那个学校
She's a terrific kid. I don't know how I'd run that school without her.
是啊 她妈妈在抚养她方面做得很好
Well, yeah. Her mother did a wonderful job raising her.
别忘了 我也有抚养她 诺曼
Don't forget, I raised her, too, Norman.
她知道这点吗
Does she know that?
艾琳怎么样
How's Eileen?
她
Sh--
她...
She's, uh...
不是很好
not that great.
所以最后一轮治疗
So this last round of treatment...
并没有什么效果
Didn't really... didn't really have an effect.
我很遗憾 诺曼
I'm so sorry, Norman.
桑迪 她...
Sandy, she'd, uh...
非常想见你
really love to see you.
可以的话 我也很想见她
Well, I'd love to see her if I could,
如果你不介意
if that's all right, you know?
你当然可以 随时都可以 你知道的
Of course you can. Any time. You know that.
-很好 我会去的 -什么时候
- Great. I'll do it. - When?
我不知道 等我找个时间
I don't know. I'll... I'll figure it out.
没什么好找的
There's nothin' to figure out.
就有些事嘛 我会告诉你的
There's things. There's things. I mean, I'll let you know.
好吧
Fine.
确实"好"
It is fine.
我就是这么说的
Which is what I said.
不不 你说的时候带了小情绪 你说的"好吧"
No, no. You said it with an attitude. You said, "Fine."
原谅我 好吧
Forgive me. Fine.
天呐 点餐吧
Jesus, let's just order.
好吧
Fine.
你爱情生活怎么样 你还在和那个
So how's your love life? Are you still seeing, uh...
叫脆吃饼的约会吗
What's her name? Triscuit?
是崔斯汀 没有了
Tristin. And no.
那太糟了 她还挺可爱的
Oh, that's too bad. She was kind of cute.
我们没什么共同语言
Well, we didn't have much to talk about.
她年龄只有我的一半
You know, she was half my age.
你年龄的一半还是算老女人
Listen, half your age is still an old woman.