The guy from the parking lot.
What mother doesn't dream of this day?
You lied to me,
and you broke your pledge to stop keeping secrets.
The only reason that you went all lent crazy
was because you saw Ricky and I flirting.
I mean, what you
really want me to give up
for lent is being gay.
It's only 40 days.
Doesn't matter! I am gay all the time...
四月斋 圣帕特里克节 万圣节
lent, St. Patrick's Day... Halloween for gays...
that's like our... that's like our...
our big football ti... day.
The Super Bowl?
I would have gotten it eventually!
Here you go.
这是什么 泰瑟枪? 养老计划盒?
What's this? A taser? A retirement plan?
That is your period tool kit.
It's got ibuprofen, a little chocolate.
I read a "Cathy" Comic strip that said chocolate helps.
And a drugstore gift card
because you should be in
charge of your own feminine...
哦 太好了 你来了
Oh, good. There you are.
We're down one for the parade.
Kenny's not coming. Don't ask.
Eh, she's not feeling too great.
I think she's gonna stay home.
What's the matter with her?
Well, uh, she told me not to tell you this,
but she got her period.
She didn't want to tell me?
But I'm her mother!
我知道 别担心 我搞定了
I know. And don't worry. I handled it.
And it did happen in my basement,
and you said to handle things down there.
Yeah, but not when it's our daughter's "Down there."
I can't believe she didn't come to me.
Did you stress how important it is
for her not to get pregnant?
That's why she won't come to you...
because you can be a little bit...
Check it out.
I added the screams of the damned.
What is this?
How does this fit into a St. Patrick's Day parade?
- 确实不合适 - 你喜欢吗 妈妈?
- It doesn't. - Do you like it, Mom?
I asked Jimmy to steer it more towards lent
and what will happen if people don't get right with god.
Oh, for the love of...
Well, that's a lot to ask of a float, Eileen.
It's terrifying and judgmental,
which is exactly what you asked for.
I wanted it to be more serious
because I thought that's what we needed,
but now Shannon won't talk to me about woman things,
Kenny's sneaking around on gay dates.
Everything's going to hell.
It slipped. I don't...
I'm surprised you wanted to come back here.
You didn't seem like you liked the food that much last time.
Are you kidding? This is our place.
This is where I learned
that you can't eat most of an artichoke.
Well, I'm glad we're here.
Oh, hey, did you get that list of personal questions
I e-mailed you last night?
Not all of them. My printer ran out of paper.
So I thought maybe we could just talk.
Okay, so that probably means
that you didn't get the last page
about the tickets I found for us to Lollapalooza.
- 音乐节要五个月之后啊 - 其实是六个
- At's like five months away. - Six, actually,
but I looked at the map, and if we walk real fast,
we can make it to Lana Del Rey and Bloc Party.
你看 我知道你是新手 而且很兴奋
Look, you're new at this, and... and you're excited,
which is a good thing,
but I'm in a different place than you.
And... Like, I... I was hoping it was just first-date jitters,
but I'm realizing that, you know,
you need to date someone who's more where you are.
Ricky kept talking and explaining
all the reasons for his decision,
but I'd heard everything I needed to hear.
I'd had my first date and my first rejection.
I just needed a classy exit line.
I've got to pee so bad I can taste it.
Why are you sitting out here?
It doesn't seem like The O'Neals
are gonna make the parade this year.
Did you have a good time with your parking-lot gentleman?
That was... that was kind of a bust, too.
Does that mean you tried it and it didn't work out
and now you're gonna go back to the other thing?
That's not how it works.
Do you want to talk about it?
Well, would you want to talk about it
if I promise to try really, really hard
not to be judgmental?
And not just because it's lent...
because I really want you to be able to talk to me.
I finally liked a guy, and he didn't like me back.
Well, if he didn't like you back,
then he's obviously stupid and has no taste.
Why would you want to date a stupid boy with no taste
who lives in a parking lot and accosts innocent people
who are just trying to buy crafts?
Am I really judgmental and terrifying?
But this time, you used your powers for good.
I mean, he doesn't eat meat.
You mean for lent?
No, like, ever.
Well, he's gonna die alone.
Hey, Mom, you got to come check this out.
Hey, Dad, here they come!
Jimmy and I stripped off all the scary stuff.
Well, except Lucifer.
I... I used, uh, too many nails.
I think it's okay.
I think I made it work,
and we should still go to the parade.
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