There's nothing like the first warm day
After an endless chicago winter.
Is it... warm?
it's 52 degrees.
People go a little nuts.
The sunshine makes you ready for a fresh start.
More importantly, it makes you think
That anything might be possible.
在学校里 肌肤暴露 爱弥漫在空气里
At school, skin is showing and love is in the air.
But spring for the only out gay kid
at a midwestern catholic high school
Is a little lonely.
I mean, there is clearly gay Stewart.
But stewart's still working through some stuff.
Bitch, you are delish.
Too bad I'm off carbs.
I risked everything by coming out,
all so I would be less lonely,
But I'm more alone than ever.
Sometimes, life makes you wonder.
Ow! Watch it!
I hate frisbee. It's so hard.
Oh, my god.
god bless the women of chicago.
Bringing out the legs the minute it breaks 50
just like little troupers.
I hope all these girls have some warm coats in their cars
'cause it could be winter again in an hour.
I'm just gonna ignore that and enjoy this bounty of limbs,
你 作为一个刚恢复单身的男人 也应该跟我一样好好欣赏
which you, as a newly single man, should be doing, too.
哎 但是我还不是真的单身呢 这才是重点
Yeah, but I'm not really single yet. That's the thing.
I'm just in this weird sexless purgatory
在那儿 我只做一件事 那就是学习怎么使用洗衣机和干衣机
Where all I do is learn how to use the washer and dryer.
All the more reason to open your eyes and let in the limbs.
伙计 老实说 我离出去勾搭妹子还远着呢
Honestly, man, I'm so far from getting back out there again.
I don't even see them.
I still have marriage eyes.
Is that why they're so cold and dead?
Yes, it is.
Hello! It's spring!
I say we go find that one grassy patch in the park
and celebrate with this classy european dessert booze
I made in my sink.
I'm afraid you're gonna have
to go drink in the park by yourself again.
I'm applying for a job.
Well, if it's a job with the fun police, you're hired.
I mean, what was the point of even coming out
when there are zero people at school to do anything out with?
Not just at school. Think about it.
If only 10% of the population is gay,
and only like half of those are out,
And only like 5% of those are your age,
there's like four people for you to date in all of illinois.
Oh, my god.
Some of them are probably farmers.
It's not funny!
It's a little... it's a little funny.
It's called biscotti and baskets.
They make these darling baskets filled with, well, biscotti.
And I thought it's time for a job.
You know, I'm not a wife anymore.
In four years, I'll be an empty nester.
哼? ... 当然 可能要排除吉米
Mm? ... well, aside from Jimmy probably.
And I just feel like I want to go out there and contribute.
That's very responsible.
Let's go to the park.
I just don't want to be one of those
单身女人 整天在家喝酒 什么都不干的女人
single women who sits home drinking all day.
Not the first time I've been someone's cautionary tale.
I'm just worried no one will hire me.
I mean, aside from teaching sunday school
and making baskets for church auctions,
I haven't had a real job since before the kids were born.
But your baskets are so good.
Remember the christmas basket that you made
with the peppermint bark and the abstinence-education materials?
The "Guard your basket" Basket was a classic.
Maybe I could just take the laptop
and show the guys some pictures of things I've made.
But I have no idea what to write on this application
I can help.
I've applied for tons of jobs
because I'm not the kind of woman
Anybody wants to take care of.
Just don't tell anyone, especially the kids.
I hate for them to know I've ever failed at anything.
Except for my marriage.
I'm kidding. I'm totally kidding.
I think that it's great that you're getting back out there.
And I'll help you with what to write.
你懂的 你是一个坚强 美好的女人
You know, you're a strong, wonderful woman,
And anybody would be lucky to have you.
We just have to fix... all of this.
Oh, hi, honey.
Hi. What you guys talking about?
Nothing. Nothing at all.
I'm just gonna run out to my car
and get a grooming kit I keep in my trunk in case of an outbreak
Or an emergency child pageant.
- 农民也很可爱 他们给奶牛挤奶... - 吉米!
- Well, farmers are cute, and they milk cows, you know... - Jimmy!
Well, mom's internet dating.
- 不是吧! - 什么?
- shut up! - what?
Yeah, I heard her talking to aunt Jodi about it.
Next we'll meet a series of guys, which will be awkward,
but at least one of them will teach us how to ski.
And dad will meet a career woman
Who thought she missed her chance to have babies,
but marries dad by summer so she can squeeze a couple out
before she gets the change.
她刚说什... 什么? 什么?
What did she just... what? What?
等等 不... 老爸还在地下室住着呢
Wait, no,... dad still lives downstairs.
Will we all live together when they're remarried?
Wha.. are we becoming mormons?
No, mom cannot get a boyfriend before I do.
Really? ... that's where you went with this?
听着 这感觉很诡异 也很沮丧
Listen, it's creepy and upsetting
that our parents are moving on,
but I'm 16 and I'm still way more interested in this.
You should go online, too.
- 你这么认为? - 当然
- you think? - totally.
There are a million apps.
Gays basically invented the online hookup.
right after they invented bravo and lady gaga
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