I really love my dad and brother,
But sometimes I don't fully understand
Their male-bonding rituals, especially this one.
- 约架吗! - 约!
- boy battle! - boy battle!
Let's go. Come on!
How are you gonna win regionals next week
If you don't know the fundamentals?
Some of the rituals are just too gay, even for me.
Okay, if purple nurples are legal...
啊! 天呐! 啊!
Aah! Oh, god! Ah!
听着 吉米 够了!
Jimmy, listen, that's enough!
嘿 嘿 嘿!
Hey, hey, hey!
Take your fight club down to your divorce apartment.
I'm sorry I fought for that, 'cause it really sounds weird.
Let's just call it a basement.
Also, I was cleaning out the garage.
What would you like me to do with this tent?
Look at that.
This is the tent I bought when you were born
So I could take you camping.
I don't remember that.
Well, again, you were just born.
Well, what do you say, Jimmy?
You want to take her out this weekend, break it in?
Can we use leaves as toilet paper?
I've always wanted to try that.
Oh, of course we can, but not all of them.
记住 "三片叶 别碰它"
Remember, "Leaves of three, let them be,"
especially when it comes to your butt.
That's very good advice, Pat.
还有 如果有灰熊攻击的话 憋跑
Also, if a grizzly bear attacks, don't run.
Just puff yourself up to make yourself look bigger.
Well, this is gonna be great, huh?
Start a new tradition with the O'neal men.
Aren't you forgetting something?
Oh, good call, Kenny.
Eileen, could you make us some sandwiches?
Uh, real men make their own sandwiches!
That's not why I went "Ahem."
I went "Ahem"
Because if you're going on a father/son camping trip,
Shouldn't you take all of your sons?
What's so funny?
肯尼 得了吧 你讨厌大自然
Kenny, come on. You hate nature.
I do not.
Don't you remember what happened
When you went to the butterfly sanctuary?
There, on that young man's shoulder,
Is the very rare incandescent luna moth.
Only 30 of them exist in the united states.
My point is, just because I'm gay
Doesn't mean I can't do man things, you know?
Like bonding with my brother and my dad on a camping trip.
I mean, "Into the woods" Is one of my favorite musicals.
Listen, if this is something you really want to do,
Of course you can come.
First job take that tent outside,
- 检查防雨涂层 - 雨?!
- Make sure it's got a rain fly. - Rain?!
You think it might rain?
Okay, I'm off to confirmation class.
Your last one.
It's really not that big of a deal, mom.
It's the biggest deal.
In just a week, the archbishop will confirm you
As an adult member of the church.
My little catholic girl
Is becoming a little catholic woman.
Well, I'm gonna grab a little catholic apple.
You want to get some coverage of that, too?
憋搞笑了 我当然要 拿好苹果
Don't be ridiculous. of course I do. Hold it up.
Do you think he changed his mind?
He most certainly did not!
What’s up, muchachos?
肯尼 就一晚上 不是一辈子
Kenny, we're going for one night, not one lifetime.
I know. I know this seems like a lot,
But last night, I watched a wilderness expert
demonstrate the ins and outs of outdoor survival.
- 贝尔·格里尔斯?[美国探险家 主持人] - 瑞茜·威瑟斯彭[美国女演员]
- Bear Grylls? - Reese Witherspoon.
I watched "Wild" Twice.
So, anything we might need is in these three bags.
Oh, hey, who wants a luna bar?
"Whole nutrition bar for women"?
对呀 我造 我看着这些包包 然后看到了月亮
Yeah, I know. I looked at the packaging and saw a moon,
And I thought "Camping!"
肯尼 你不能全带 挑一个吧
Kenny, you can't take all these bags. Pick one.
Come on, but the...these bags
Contain the necessary tools for survival.
We really need this?
I don't know how you're gonna make a cappuccino without foam,
But, sure, I guess we're The Donner Party.
Feel my hands.
Feel how soft my hands are.
Why are they so spongy?
Because of the dead sea mineral mud.
It's in the lotion my boyfriend, Yossi,
Sells at his kiosk in the mall.
Well, hopefully he treats you better than the guy
Who sells pillow pets at his kiosk in the mall.
I can't help it. I have a type.
Which dress do you like better?
I'm not sure how to say this,
But trying to dress younger than your age always backfires.
- 还记得我那条背带裤吗? - 永生难忘
- Remember my overalls? - I'll never forget.
You weren't wearing a shirt underneath.
No, the dress isn't for me.
It's for Shannon's confirmation.
She's at her last class right now.
I hate to break it to you, but I just saw her at the mall.
Oh, I seriously doubt that.
It's probably just someone who looks like Shannon.
不可能 我说"嗨 莎伦" 她回我"嘿 朱迪阿姨"
No, I said, "Hi, Shannon." She said, "Hey, Aunt Jodi."
And then I tried to sell her some lotion.
But Yossi had to go to the bathroom,
And I offered to watch his kiosk.
I mean, he's all alone out there!
Oh, you're talking about the shannon thing.
That's not good.
Ugh, it's so hot out!
I can feel the sweat pooling in my belly button!
I don't know why you chose to wear jeans on a hike,
Denim being one of the least breathable fabrics.
I compensated with these flip-flops,
One of the most breathable shoes.
How you holding up back there, Kenny?
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