In the same room together?
With dad's mustache?
Yes, because dad's mustache is mom's beard.
等等 什么 不！
Wait, what? No.
It's just one night.
It's not the end of the world.
Well, let me tell you,
As someone who had a beard named mimi,
That's gonna get itchy and bitchy real quick.
Excuse me? - I get it, okay?
It stinks a little bit,
But it's just 'cause I got some food caught in it,
And I can't find it.
Kenneth christopher sebastian o'neal,
You are 16 years old.
Your frontal lobe is not developed yet.
I have more brain than you do.
And my brain knows what it's like to be judged by that woman.
Well, I know that it's better to be out than in.
And whatever that woman throws at me, I can take it.
And I'm going to bed.
You look like a mormon's eighth wife.
I don't care. I made $124 today.
so, how is this going to work?
It's not a big deal.
It's six hours, and then my mother goes home.
What about next time when she visits?
What are we gonna do - when I live in a new place?
We'll worry about that then.
What if you've got a boyfriend? What if I've got a girlfriend?
How am I gonna explain spending the night --
A threesome with my ex-wife and a pillow?
All I'm saying is that I think kenny is right.
I mean, why don't you just tell her?
Kenny doesn't know what it's like to have a difficult mother.
No, the cab is for my mother,
And I don't really know how to phrase this,
But if you could send your most, um...
Uh, patriotic driver.
- 一会儿见 - 那...
See you soon. - so...
Good morning, mom.
Your taxi's on the way.
I'll bet you're excited to be heading home.
And, kenny, I've decided I'm glad
You told me about being gay.
Wait. You are?
Admitting you have a problem
Is the first step towards fixing it.
Looks like she has a whole list.
Yeah, no, I'm not really sure
It's something that you can fix, grandma.
Well, that's just the thing. It is.
For example, whenever you feel a gay impulse,
Take a cold shower.
Mnh-mnh. I prefer baths.
So did the romans, and we know what happened to them.
Also, write with your less dominant hand.
It'll fix that hinky wiring in your brain that makes you gay.
You know, again, I'm not really sure that's how it works.
Perhaps most helpful...
I'm gonna send you to this.
A gay conversion camp?
Oh, camp sounds fun.
The rest seems a little odd.
You'll spend two weeks in the woods with other boys
That have the same affliction you do.
Mmm. These heterosexuals'mores are delicious.
They're so messy. I got some on my shirt.
I spilled, too.
We better go wash off at the lake.
- 好主意 - 你也赶紧来啊!
- Good idea. - Meet you there!
Mm. Two weeks in the woods with a bunch of gay boys?
I think that's probably the best thing for me right now.
Uh, I think Kenny's gonna be very busy this summer, mom.
I don't think either of you is taking this seriously enough.
好啦 计程车已经在外面等你了 艾格尼丝
All right. There's a cab out front for you, Agnes.
How about one more mustache kiss before you go?
I'm not going anywhere.
Eileen, you've let this situation get out of control.
I'm staying here until I save Kenny's soul
from eternal damnation.
What's the timeline on something like that?
Could be weeks. Could be months.
It depends on how much sin is hiding in this house.
Mom can't fake being married for that long.
Mom, you can't stay here.
You didn't even bring any clothes.
I'll wash out my turtleneck every night
And borrow some of your panties.
I'll take that mustache kiss now.
- 妈? - 别看我!
- Mom? - look away!
Mom, what are you doing?
I'm eating gay cake on the toilet.
Mom, you have to tell grandma the truth.
I have fought all my life
for just a little bit of approval from that woman.
If I tell her now, that my marriage is a failure,
That will never happen.
You can do this, and I can help you.
I have successfully come out three times.
And which time do you think was the most successful?
When you outed yourself in front of the entire parish?
When you gay-bashed yourself at school?
Or when you broke grandma?
I had a better plan.
I was gonna soften you up by cooking your favorite meal,
And then I was gonna mention all the famous people
You love who are gay.
We don't need to do that right now.
Don't tell me. I don't want to know.
Anyway, once I got you used to the idea
That you already loved gay people,
I was gonna tell you about me.
You think that would work for divorce?
嗯 也许吧 因为...
Well, it's got to, because...
This is not.
Is that sink ice cream?
When does she have the time?
太好了 莎伦 你来了
Good. Shannon, you're here.
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