How's the scene going?
Well, I don't seem to be able to express emotion
Like a person, or even a zombie.
I mean, Siri read it with more emotion than I did.
This play is a travesty.
But if you want Romeo, you can make it happen.
Could you help me?
I mean, you obviously have the range.
You have played everything from jezebel to the holy mother.
That was quite an easter.
And with one minute left to go in the game...
嗨 老爸 我知道你一直在好奇
Hey. Dad, I know you've been wondering
Why I grew this mustache.
呃... 好吧 我想你应该是想看起来像汤姆·赛立克
Um...Well, I just figured you wanted to look like Tom Selleck.
The grandpa on "Blue bloods"?
What do you need, son?
There's a girl at school that I really like.
- 恩嗯 - 她叫莱西
- Mm-hmm. - Her name is Lacey...
...Uh, which I assume is short for Laceandra.
Probably not, but continue.
Well, you know I've always been
Kind of known for my verbal skills.
There's something wrong with me.
I-I've been kind of off my game lately.
Thought I got closer.
啊呀? 嗨 莱西 最近怎么样啊?
What? Hey, lacey. What's up?
'Cause you, uh...
毛... 你喜欢猫... 猫猫
Ca-- you like cat...Cats.
Y-you're probably good with women.
I mean, I don't like to brag,
But I have used words to talk to women before.
Sounds like your first line was fine.
我觉得吧... 我们... 你...
I think that...that we...you...
One would need to just kind of follow that up.
Yeah, that's right.
Just don't worry about what to say.
Just keep talking, and the rest will happen on its own.
- 只管一直说啊 - 对
- Just keep talking. - Yeah.
- 这样靠谱 - 对吧?
- That's solid. - Right?
你懂的 就像... 像我们现在在聊天一样
You know, like -- like we're talking right now.
You know, no big deal.
I mean, a girl's just a dad in a skirt.
Emotional scenes can be tough.
But there are tricks.
For example, if you want to act sad,
Look down at a spot on the floor.
If you need to be thoughtful,
Pretend you're watching a bird flying slowly across the sky.
- 你看是吧? - 好的
- Mm? - Okay.
呃 那这呢 当我说
Um, what about here, when I say,
"那是我的意中尸 哦 那是我腐烂的爱情" ?
"It is my undead lady, o, it is my decomposing love."?
Clench your butt real tight and think about pancakes.
That doesn't really sound...
Who got five out of five rosaries
In the church bulletin for her portrayal of Bathsheba?
那是我的意中尸 哦 那是我腐烂的爱情
It is my undead lady, O, it is my decomposing love.
See how she leans her cheek upon her cold, dead hand.
O, that I were a glove upon that hand
That I might touch that rotting cheek.
I knew I'd find my gay!
I think we can all agree that we have found our zombie romeo.
还有 斯图尔特 恭喜恭喜 你是他的替补演员
And, Stuart, congratulations, you are his understudy.
I'm being discriminated against because I'm heterosexual.
That was amazing.
I can't believe that pancake butt-clench thing worked.
It was purely theoretical until now.
I couldn't have done this without you.
I'm... I'm really glad you're here.
Oh! So am I.
And as zombie juliet,
是肯尼的前女友 蜜蜜 韦斯伯格!
Kenny's estranged ex, Mimi Waxberg!
I'm sorry. What?
好啦 你们俩 快上来
Okay. You two, come on.
Let's jump up and do the wedding scene.
Okay, you know, zombies are one thing,
But there is no wedding scene in "Romeo and Juliet."
I know. The whole thing happened offstage.
Shakespeare really left a lot of meat on that bone.
And no offense, Ms. Hanson,
But this is worse than when that Harlot from "Girls"
Played Peter Pan.
我 罗密欧 要娶你 朱丽叶
I, Romeo, take you, Juliet,
To be my lawfully wedded wife.
我 朱丽叶 愿嫁给你 罗密欧...
I, Juliet, take you, Romeo...
喔 你说的似乎有点道理 我还是把这段删了吧
Mm, maybe you're right. Maybe I should cut it.
Don't you dare.
...To be my lawfully wedded husband.
Wierd with Mimi
I was thinking, maybe we could watch
All the "Romeo and juliet" Movies tonight for inspiration.
这个 我还是不去了 其实我都看过了
Um, actually, I'm all good. I have seen them all.
Even "Gnomeo and juliet"?
Oh, no. I missed that one.
- 晚上我带零食去找你! - 真好呃
- I'll bring the snacks! - Fantastic.
Come on, guys. We don't have that much time.
God, it's like the whole budget's
Going into the wedding scene,
But I have to beg for decent stage blood
For my blood cannon.
Sure, I could go to the dumpster behind the butcher shop,
But I don't think anyone wants that.
There are more important things than your blood cannon.
- 是这些么? - 配色应该是象牙白和玫瑰红
- These? - Oh, the color scheme is ivory and rose,
Not champagne and bubble gum.
Get your head in the game, Lacey.
Um, so, Mimi's starting to get
a little carried away with all the wedding stuff.
It's getting awkward.
Well, you know how us girls are.
Sometimes we get a little wedding crazy.
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