Every since I came out,
My mom and I have been having a hard time connecting.
Luckily, we have "Project runway."
It's a place where she can be critical
And I can be gay without her noticing.
That dress looks like a trash bag.
No, I think it is a trash bag.
This is... the trash bag challenge.
Well, it looks like garbage.
That dress looks like garbage.
Yeah, get over here.
That's right, Tim Gunn.
Yep. "Runway" brought us together.
And then it tore us apart.
What's in the bag?
Mm, well, you know how last night,
Tim Gunn said that mesh is the new black?
I think he called it "Mesh-merizing."
The only reason to watch that show is to possibly get
A flash of side booby when the models change.
瞎说 吉米 那节目好玩着呢
No, Jimmy, it's great.
If you like to watch people sewing.
Well, they're crazy.
Anyway, I saw this cool mesh shirt at Fashion Junkie,
And I was thinking, I've been wanting to update my look,
You've been wanting me to get a part-time job...
No. You are not getting a job at Fashion Junkie.
They advertise with actual junkies.
Mom, I can buy things and you can critique them.
It'll be like "Runway" All the time!
That's the kind of thing I like on my television,
But I don't want it in my home.
"That kind of thing"? What does that mean?
You're not a mesh-shirt kind of person.
That's a different kind of person. That's not you.
What she means is, I'm not that kind of gay person.
But what my mom didn't know was that I was currently
wearing the shirt under the one I had on.
Are you currently wearing the shirt under the one you have on?
I feel texture.
Come on, mom!
Kenny, if you want to take up sports,
Then you can wear mesh.
对呀 肯尼 干点直男干的事
Yeah, kenny, do something straight,
Like wrestle men in your underwear.
Then you can wear what you want.
Yeah. Nice one!
"Nice"? What's nice?
Is something fun happening up here?
Mom won't let me wear a stylish shirt
Made of a controversial fabric.
Well, we could always go downstairs to dad's house
And talk about it over there,
Where I've been alone for the last 48 hours.
Feel free. Door's always open.
Come on down and...you know...
Just check and see if I've choked.
My mom thinks she knows what kind of gay person I am,
But how could she?
I'm still trying to figure it out myself.
I'm still trying to figure out that shirt.
Tim gunn, I thought you said mesh was the new black.
In this case, mesh is the new bleccch!
Kenny, I've been thinking a lot
About this whole mesh thing, and...
I realize I may not have come off the way I intended.
我很感激 妈咪 我... 有时候...
Thank you, mom. I... sometimes ...
皮衣 仿皮 丝绸 羊绒 或者任何有花的衣服
You're also forbidden to wear leather, pleather,
silks, lambs, or anything with flowers on it.
And it goes without saying, obviously, nothing from ZARA.
妈 我是基佬 又不是一欧洲人
Mom, I'm gay. I'm not european.
I appreciate you wanting to make money,
So I made a list of acceptable jobs.
You can oil pews at the church,
Wash father Phil's car,
Work at a catholic senior-living facility.
Is there anything that doesn't involve me
Washing church things and/or old people?
那就家教咯 好嘞 我选这个
Tutoring. Okay, yeah. No, I'll do that.
Take it off.
Seriously?! Through an inch and a half of terry cloth?!
嘿 孩子们 快下到我的地下室来!
Hey, guys, come down to my basement!
I got a fun surprise for ya!
Dad's trying to have fun with us in the basement again.
I wish you'd stop misusing the word "Fun."
嘿 孩子们! 谁想下来调戏蜘蛛玩?
Hey, guys! Who wants to have fun killing a spider?
Hey, guys, who wants to do a fun puzzle?
Hey, guys, who wants to come see my fun new popcorn machine?
It's like when the dentist gives you free floss.
Just give it up, man. We know it sucks.
哦 我的天 咱爸弄了只狗
Oh, my god. Dad got a dog.
Meet the newest member of our family.
Mom says we're not allowed to have a dog in the house.
Well, since we're getting a divorce,
The basement is technically my house,
And I make the rules, so he's allowed down here.
And so are you.
Can we name him Brad?
Yeah, if that's what you want.
That is literally the only thing that I want.
- 那好啊 - 你在哪里找到他的?
- Okay. - where did you find him?
He's a police dog.
Remember that suspicious package downtown last christmas
That turned out to be a bag of apples?
All sergeant Hoffman -- or Brad.
Yes, I'm still wearing the tie.
First day on the job. Dress to impress.
Stand up straight, shoulders back.
Look them in the eye, firm handshake.
Oh, and there's some matches in your bag
In case a number two pops out.
好好 我得挂了 我要迟了
Okay. I got to go. I'm gonna be late.
Don't worry. Time is just a construct.
嗨 我是肯尼 我是那个家教
Uh, hi. I'm Kenny. Uh, I'm the tutor.
I'm here for Jonathan.
Oh, it's Yonathan.
Are you "Yoking"?
You're not. I'm sorry.
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