早 能帮我拿牛奶吗
u202dMorning. Can you grab the milk?
天啊 又有老鼠吗
Oh, my God. Is it another rat?
不
No.
是食物
It's food.
关上再打开 我不相信这是真的
Close it and open it again. I don't believe it's real.
谁买♥♥的啊
Who did this?
不是我 我钱包里只有4美元
Not me; I've got four dollars in my wallet
我还指着这钱过到下周呢
and it's got to last me till next week.
也不是我 顺便说句
Well, it wasn't me either and, by the way,
你钱包里只剩2美元了
you have two dollars in your wallet.
看 草莓酱
Look, look. There's strawberry jam.
还有籽
With seeds.
让你知道这是真草莓做的
So you know it came from real strawberries.
-早 -亚当
- Morning. u202d- Adam,
家里有食物
there's food in the house.
我知道 我买♥♥的
I know, I bought it.
我厌倦了凌晨两点回家
I'm tired of coming home at 2:00 A.M. after work
只能找到一盒小苏打和发霉的柠檬
and finding a box of baking soda and a fuzzy lemon.
好 这瓶果酱是我的 果酱归我
Okay, this jam is mine, I called it.
我顺便买♥♥了些面包
You know, I went crazy and bought
-来涂果酱 -面包
- some bread to put that on. - Bread?
我要面包 面包也归我
I want bread. I call that, too.
亚当 你花了多少钱
Adam, how much did you spend?
别在意
Don't worry about it.
酒吧生意很好
We're doing really well at the bar
我们该买♥♥点好东西
and we deserve nice things.
这点我懂
Nice things I get,
但为什么买♥♥高档豆子
but what's with the fancy-ass beans?
这不是杂货店的牌子吗
They're not the grocery store brand?
不是 看看盖子
Nope. Check out the lid.
易拉盖
A pop-top!
好吧 比尔·盖茨 你现在只是在炫耀
Okay, Bill Gates, now you're just showboating.
极品老妈 第六季第十九集
今日水果怎么样
How's the fruit looking today?
还得再演一遍吗
Must we do this dance?
你说得对 奶酪汉堡和薯条
You're right. Cheeseburger and fries.
-你呢 -只要一份蛋黄酱
- You? - I'll just have a side of mayo.
我都懒得问
I'm not even in the mood to ask.
有新的蛋黄酱食谱吗
Is there a new mayo diet?
难吃吗 管用吗
Is it hard? Is it working?
因为你看起来很棒
'Cause you look good.
我吃的是"趁冰箱里食物变质前
I'm on the eat all the food in the fridge
吃光它们"食谱
before it spoils diet.
她早饭吃了一根火鸡腿和一盒圣女果
She had a turkey leg and a box of cherry tomatoes for breakfast.
是的 你本可以帮我
Yeah. You could have helped out, too,
"喝一周后才过期的酸奶"女士
Miss "Yogurt that still had a week to go."
我通常喜欢听她们吵架 但这次我听不懂
I usually like their fights, but I don't get this one.
亚当的酒吧终于
Adam's bar is finally bringing in
赚了点钱 他特别放肆地
a little money and he had the audacity
用食物装满了冰箱
to fill our fridge with food.
我绝不会让任何食物变质
And I'll be damned if I'm letting any of it go bad.
给 每人一根香蕉开胃
Here, banana-tizers all around.
酒吧生意好是好事
That's great that his bar's doing well.
别啊 说出来就不灵了
Jinxsy! Don't say it out loud.
你刚腌了那人的孩子
you just salted that guy's baby.
酒吧生意好你为什么不高兴
Why aren't you happy the bar's doing well?
邦妮刚怎么说的
What did Bonnie just say?
他笑了
He smiled.
傻孩子以为下雪了
Oh, stupid baby thinks it's snowing.
生意好我很高兴
Look, I'm glad it's happening,
我只是不希望亚当得意忘形
I just don't want Adam going crazy with it.
-他只是买♥♥了食物 -还有跑鞋
- He bought food. - u202dAnd running shoes.
跑鞋啊
Running shoes.
-尤里 -更好
- Yuri. - But it's even better.
是他抱着猫
It's him holding a cat.
让我看看
Ooh, let me see.
拿回手♥机♥
Take the phone back.
这是他表弟的猫 他们是室友
It's his cousin's cat, they're roommates.
这让我想起来了 克丽丝蒂
Which reminds me, Christy.
谢尔盖刚和他女友分手了
Sergei just broke up with his girlfriend and I...
-我愿意 -或许我能介绍你们
- I'm in. - u202dMaybe I'd fix you guys up, I mean...
-我说了我愿意 -他很帅 我觉得你们...
- I said I'm in. - ...he's pretty cute and I think you guys...
你没听见她说话吗
Did you not just hear her?
-她就差上桌子扭屁♥股♥了 -千真万确
- She's about to jump up on this table and start twerking. - u202dI really am.
很好 我们周五
Okay, great, well, how about we go
去他们家吃晚餐怎么样
to their place for dinner Friday?
周五♥不♥行 我们有4磅
No, no, not Friday. We've got four pounds
猪肩肉17号♥以后过期
of pork shoulder that's best before the 17th.
我十个月都没碰过男人了
I haven't touched a man in ten months.
我情愿吃过期猪肉 也要搞到男人
I'm willing to take my chances with old pork.
搬到另一个国家开始全新生活
Picking up your entire life and moving to a strange country?
我无法想象
I can't imagine.
-你一定会想家 -有时候会
- You must get homesick. - u202dSometimes.
但我会把冰块塞进他的裤子
But then I shove ice cube down his pants
然后说 清醒点
and say, "Snap out of it!" u202d
每次都很搞笑
It's funny every time.
你从哪里学了一口流利的英语
How did you learn to speak such good English?
看《法律与秩序:特殊受害者》
Ah. Watching Law and Order: SVU.
在刑事司法体系中
"In the criminal justice system,
性犯罪被认为
"Sexually based offenses are...
极其令人发指
...considered especially heinous."
有化学反应了
It's happening.
别紧张 结果无所谓
No pressure-- whatever happens, happens.
但有反应了
But it's happening.
谁想吃巧克力杏仁蛋糕
Who's ready for Duncan Hines Bundt cake?
他们在这里要举手
They raise their hands here.
去沙发上休息 我们收拾
Go relax on couch, we'll clean up.
-你怎么想 -他很棒
- So what do you think? - He's amazing.
他们都很棒
u202dThey're both amazing.
他们做饭 打扫
They cook, they clean.
而且他们是温柔 感性的爱侣
And they're gentle, sensitive lovers.
至少我的是
Well, mine is.
谢尔盖弹吉他 所以我猜他也是
And Sergei plays the guitar, so I can only assume...
我可能会有一个弹吉他的俄♥罗♥斯♥男友
I could have a Russian boyfriend who plays guitar? u202d
等等
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
我总这样 过于心急
I always do this, I get ahead of myself.
你说得对 这只是第一次约会
Yeah, you're right. It's just the first date.
淡定点
Be cool.
但我们一定要办双重婚礼
But we are totally having a double wedding.
对吧
Right? u202d
上甜点
Dessert is served.
谢尔盖自己做了这个蛋糕
Sergei, he make this cake himself.
它很湿润 因为里面有布丁
It's moist because it has pudding inside.
你们关系这么好真棒
It's sweet that you guys are so close.
我们就像三个火枪手
We are like Three Musketeers.
但只有两个
But only two.
别让我在女人面前激动
Don't make me emotional in front of women.
请享受你们的湿润蛋糕 我去开门
Please enjoy your moist cake, I will get this.
尤里 你表弟真好
Yuri, your cousin is so nice.
他心地善良
Ah, he has good heart.
外面没事吧
Is everything okay out there?
只是生意上的事
It's just business.
谢尔盖 拜托 我们在玩呢
Sergei, please. We are entertaining.
原谅我 女士们
I... Forgive me, ladies.
5分钟后玩看图说词
Five minutes and then Pictionary.
克丽丝蒂 你的蛋糕如何
Christy, how's your cake?
赃物
Stolen.
我是说湿润 我是说很好
I mean, moist. I mean, good.
有人不舒服吗
Who's uncomfortable?
那是新帽子吗
Is that a new hat?
我猜是吧 我不知道