It's better pay, a bigger market,
and the-the weather is insane there.
They have eight different kinds of precipitation.
But what am I gonna do without you?
does not depend on one person.
You're gonna be fine.
You're gonna be better than fine. Give me a hug.
You don't do hugs.
I'm making an exception.
This makes it so much worse.
Bonnie, do you promise to love, honor and cherish Adam
for as long as you both shall live?
And do you, Adam, promise to love,
-尊重和珍惜邦妮吗 -愿意 完了吗
- honor and cherish Bonnie... - u202dYep. We done?
Um, you haven't exchanged rings.
Just the kiss.
Aw. That, right there-- that's why we do this.
-我拍不进去你们俩 能不能... -快拍
- I'm having trouble getting you both in. Could you ju... - Take it!
Told you I'd marry you.
Yep, you really showed me.
I was so excited when I got the call, within two hours,
I had quit my job and packed up half the house.
Then Ralph comes home and he's like, "What's going on?"
I realized I had told the kids, and had not told the husband.
Luckily, he's an "Up and coming" Mystery novelist,
so he pretty much has to do whatever I say.
Happy birthday to me
Everyone, feel sorry for me
Everybody leaves me, everybody leaves me
Everybody leaves Christy.
最后我说 拉尔夫 你整天只会
Finally, I just said, "Ralph, all you do all day
is write at Starbucks, and they got those in Minneapolis, too."
I'm gonna miss each and every one of you.
But one of you more than others.
That's all I got. Thank you.
Let's hear it for Nora.
How are you enjoying the reception?
This is exactly how I pictured it.
You know, it's possible I was just hungry earlier.
So we got married 'cause you were hangry?
Oh. There were five turning points in my life
where a sandwich would've changed everything.
But then I wouldn't have Christy.
At least I'm in good company.
Oh, my God.
Everyone in this car is married.
This day really took a turn...
...but I'm happy.
I'm happy, too.
Look at us, being happily married.
Dude, we are crushing this.
We could run a marriage seminar. Ooh, like a weekend retreat.
Those are big moneymakers.
Charge couples 400 bucks to get in,
and then they have to buy my book.
You haven't written a book.
Well, how hard could it be?
Just knock out a sassy forward
and then steal from a bunch of church pamphlets.
My wife is so scary.
All I heard is "My wife."
I mean, I'm glad it's your sober birthday and all,
but why couldn't we go to the bistro where the food's hot
and it's not all lasagna?
I told you I was bringing my lasagna.
I told you I was bringing my lasagna.
Seems like a thing that could've been handled
through a series of Post-it notes.
I only remind people of things
they need reminding of.
Oh, I canceled a massage for this.
克丽丝蒂 快 改变话题
Christy, quick, change the subject.
I hate myself.
Maybe Bjorn's still available.
I just handled things with Nora so badly.
I can't believe that after six years of sobriety,
I can still take someone's good news
and only focus on how it negatively affects me.
The Germans call that gluckschmerz.
Bad feelings over someone's good luck.
It's the opposite of schadenfreude.
I guess you had a lot of time to read in prison.
不 我的狱友是德国人 希尔德
No, my cellmate was German. Hildé.
Good communicator, never left notes.
I want to be happy for Nora, but I'm so much better at feeling sad for myself.
I get it. Worst part about being in beauty pageants
was when someone else won,
and I had to stand there smiling and clapping
like I was happy for them,
but the whole time, I'm thinking,
"Well, what the hell did I sleep with that judge for?"
Christy, it's okay to be upset,
just don't rain on someone else's parade.
You've got to act better than you feel.
Like I did when Marjorie betrayed me
with her lasagna.
Yeah, no matter how much you're dying inside,
you got to flash that big old Vaseline smile.
Yeah. You put it on your teeth
so your lips don't stick.
And hemorrhoid cream tightens up your eyes.
Once, when I was drunk, I switched them.
My face was shiny and my lips were tiny.
Sorry we're late.
Yeah, we stopped and got married!
Yeah, we did it in Reno in a quickie chapel.
what about the wedding you guys were planning
that we've been talking about forever?
- Eh, skipping it. - I love my wife.
I love my husband.
Chris, you got a little
gluckschmerz on your face.
I forgot what these look like when they're not covered
in Post-it Notes.
"Don't forget to rinse me. Being dirty makes me sad."
Why don't we get 'em an Insta-Pot and be done with it?
Too nice. People who didn't invite us to their wedding