极品老妈第六季第二十二集

Mom S06E22

Part3

2020年1月3日 20:50

don't deserve tender, fall-off-the-bone meat
能脱骨的嫩肉
in less than an hour.
我很早之前就为这场婚礼买♥♥了衣服
Yeah, I bought an outfit for this wedding a long time ago,
现在我永远都没机会穿了
and now I'm never gonna get to wear it.
我认识的别人都不会结婚了
Nobody else I know is ever getting married.
我看见你们了
I see you there.
我没法把蛋糕拍到亚当脸上了
There goes my chance to shove cake in Adam's face.
是新娘啦
That's the bride.
我知道谁是谁
I know who's who!
她告诉我会由我把她交给新郎
She told me I was gonna be the one to give her away.
你们知道我等了多久送走她那尊大神吗
Do you know how long I have been waiting to give her away?
好了
That's it.
我要送她这些夹在零食袋上的玩意儿
I'm gonna get her these thingies you put on snack bags.
这叫做薯片夹
They're called "Chip clips."
我没在炫耀只是
I'm not showing off, it's just...
你独居时需要这东西
you need them when you live alone.
我还以为这是集体礼物呢
I thought this was supposed to be a group gift.
就是啊
It is.
你们每个人欠我75分
You each owe me 75 cents.
拜托女士们我们不能
Oh, come on, ladies, we're not gonna
通过结婚礼物来惩罚邦妮
punish Bonnie with her wedding gift.
虽然我们是该这样做因为要不是我
Even though we should, because they literally
他们根本就不会在一起
wouldn't be together if it weren't for me.
大家快拿起手♥机♥
Ooh, everybody grab your phones.
这是罕见的愤怒玛乔
It's a rare sighting of Mad Marge.
多少次她打算和亚当分手
How many times did I talk her off the ledge
都全靠我拦住了她啊
when she was ready to blow everything up with Adam?
我值得当伴娘
I deserve to be a bridesmaid.
至少我该朗诵一首诗
At the very least, recite a poem.
不是说做的事必须比内心的想法更高尚吗
What happened to "Act better than you feel"?
相信我我已经更高尚了
Trust me, I am.
既然我们要一吐为快
Well, now that we're getting things off our chest,
这里的免费样品在哪
where the hell are the free samples around here?
我闻到苹果酒的味道
I smell apple cider.
它在哪呢
Where is it?!
祝你生日快乐
Happy birthday to you.
要一直回来哦
Keep coming back.
克丽丝蒂酒瘾者
Christy. Alcoholic.
你好克丽丝蒂
Hi, Christy.
我想感谢送我蛋糕的女人
I want to thank the women who gave me my cake.
如果不是因为你的爱和支持
If it wasn't for your love and support,
我不会站在这里
I wouldn't be standing here.
或者任何地方
Or anywhere.
对我妈妈来说更是如此她
And that goes double for my mom, who...
要知道
You know...
我本来打算在另一晚收蛋糕
I was gonna take this cake the other night,
但我没有因为我妈妈不在场
but I didn't, 'cause my mom wasn't here.
我不希望她错过
I didn't want her to miss
我人生中的一件大事
a big event in my life.
愚蠢的我
Silly me--
我还以为这会让她难过
I thought it might hurt her feelings
被排除在如此重要的事情之外
to be left out of something so important.
所以我一直等到她来
That's why I waited until she was here--
这样她就可以看到
so she could enjoy
我走了多远
how friggin' far I've come.
我真的走了很远
I've come really far.
知道了吗妈妈真的很远
Got that, Mom? Really far.
你已经分享过了所以吃瘪吧
And you already shared, so suck it!
对我的分享结尾就是这样
Yep, that's how I'm ending it.
你能相信这人吗
Do you believe this?
等着听完我的分享吧
Wait'll you hear mine.
我在使用和享受我的薯片夹
Look, I am using and enjoying my chip clips.
我知道这是一份恶意的礼物
I know they were a gift of spite,
但我还是要说
but I'm gonna go ahead and say it:
这太好用了
game changer.
听着
Listen...
我有话要说
I need to say something.
抱歉我今天那样分享
I am sorry for the way I shared today.
这不像是坚持戒瘾六年的人
It was not very "Six years sober" of me.
饼干桌旁边有人聊到这件事
Well, there was some chatter about it at the cookie table,
主要是我聊的
mostly from me.
事实是
The truth is...
我只是很受伤
I'm just really hurt.
我们一起经历过可怕的事
We have been through such horrible stuff together,
终于发生了一件好事
and finally, something wonderful happened
而你没让我参与其中
and you didn't let me be a part of it.
听到这话你也许很惊讶
This may... come as a surprise,
毕竟我超级自恋
given my delightful narcissism...
但内心深处我一直认为我做的事
...but deep down, I always assume that what I do
对人们来说不重要
doesn't matter to people.
我没想到
You know, it-it just didn't occur to me
会有人在乎
that anyone would care.
真蠢
Well, that's stupid.
我很在乎
I cared a lot.
不仅是我
And it's not just me.
大家都很生气他们错过了
Everybody's upset they missed it.
我听了玛乔丽的分享我知道
I heard Marjorie share, I know.
这听起来很奇怪
Strange as it may seem,
人们希望参与你的生活
people want to be a part of our life
是因为他们爱你
because they love you.
亲爱的真抱歉
Honey, I am so sorry.
如果我再结婚我保证你会在场
If I ever get married again, I promise you'll be there.
-妈妈 -怎么了
- Mom? - Yeah?
拜托了下一个结婚的能是我吗
Can I please be the next one to get married?
大家都生我的气
Everyone's mad at me.
我需要更多上下文
I'll need more context.
原来大家都爱我
Turns out I'm beloved.
大家想看到我结婚的感兴趣程度
There was, like, a Royal Wedding level of interest
跟王室婚礼差不多
in seeing me get married.
你是说看到我们结婚
You mean seeing us get married.
我不记得有人提到过你但也许吧
I don't remember anyone mentioning you, but maybe.
我们的婚礼就是大错特错
Our wedding was a gigantic mistake.
-这么快啊 -不
- Well, that didn't take long. - No...
我认真的你这次把我们害惨了
I am serious. You really screwed us this time.
-我吗 -是啊逼我结婚
- Me? u202d- Yeah. Pressuring me to get married.
用阿贝兹快餐店诱惑我
And then tempting me with Arby's.
你怎么能忘记我有个女儿
I mean, how could you forget I have a daughter?
你一直都忘记
You forget all the time.
她悲伤欲绝
Well, she's devastated.
还有我的朋友们呢
And what about my friends?
你绝对没考虑到她们
You certainly didn't think about them.
你剥夺了那些人片刻的欢乐
You robbed those people of a moment of joy,
而她们没有什么可期待的
and they have so little to look forward to.
你想怎么做办另一场婚礼吗
So what do you want to do-- have another wedding?
-好像你会做似的 -我当然会做
- Oh, like you'd do that. - Of course I'd do that.
如果这能让你闭嘴我愿意明天在酒吧
I'd marry you at the bar tomorrow in front of everyone
当着大家的面跟你结婚
if it'd get you to shut up.
我永远不会闭嘴两点见
Well, I'll never shut up. See you at 2:00.
-行啊 -整理一下你乱糟糟的发型
- Fine! - u202dAnd fix that crazy hair.
感谢你邀请我主持
Thank you for asking me to officiate.
面对现实吧如果因为不是你
Oh, let's face it-- we wouldn't still be together
我们现在根本不会在一起
if it wasn't for you.
你言过其实了
Oh, that's a wild exaggeration.
你紧张吗
Are you nervous?
这是我三天内的第二次婚礼
It's my second wedding in three days.
我已经掌握诀窍了
I'm getting the hang of it.
你看起来很美
Oh, you look beautiful.
你准备好了吗
Are you ready?
真不敢相信我结婚时没叫上你
I can't believe I ever did this without you.
我很高兴你在场
I'm so glad you're here.
我也是