don't deserve tender, fall-off-the-bone meat
in less than an hour.
Yeah, I bought an outfit for this wedding a long time ago,
and now I'm never gonna get to wear it.
Nobody else I know is ever getting married.
I see you there.
There goes my chance to shove cake in Adam's face.
That's the bride.
I know who's who!
She told me I was gonna be the one to give her away.
Do you know how long I have been waiting to give her away?
I'm gonna get her these thingies you put on snack bags.
They're called "Chip clips."
I'm not showing off, it's just...
you need them when you live alone.
I thought this was supposed to be a group gift.
You each owe me 75 cents.
拜托 女士们 我们不能
Oh, come on, ladies, we're not gonna
punish Bonnie with her wedding gift.
Even though we should, because they literally
wouldn't be together if it weren't for me.
Ooh, everybody grab your phones.
It's a rare sighting of Mad Marge.
How many times did I talk her off the ledge
when she was ready to blow everything up with Adam?
I deserve to be a bridesmaid.
At the very least, recite a poem.
What happened to "Act better than you feel"?
Trust me, I am.
Well, now that we're getting things off our chest,
where the hell are the free samples around here?
I smell apple cider.
Where is it?!
Happy birthday to you.
Keep coming back.
I want to thank the women who gave me my cake.
If it wasn't for your love and support,
I wouldn't be standing here.
And that goes double for my mom, who...
I was gonna take this cake the other night,
but I didn't, 'cause my mom wasn't here.
I didn't want her to miss
a big event in my life.
I thought it might hurt her feelings
to be left out of something so important.
That's why I waited until she was here--
so she could enjoy
how friggin' far I've come.
I've come really far.
知道了吗 妈妈 真的很远
Got that, Mom? Really far.
And you already shared, so suck it!
Yep, that's how I'm ending it.
Do you believe this?
Wait'll you hear mine.
Look, I am using and enjoying my chip clips.
I know they were a gift of spite,
but I'm gonna go ahead and say it:
I need to say something.
I am sorry for the way I shared today.
It was not very "Six years sober" of me.
Well, there was some chatter about it at the cookie table,
mostly from me.
The truth is...
I'm just really hurt.
We have been through such horrible stuff together,
and finally, something wonderful happened
and you didn't let me be a part of it.
This may... come as a surprise,
given my delightful narcissism...
...but deep down, I always assume that what I do
doesn't matter to people.
You know, it-it just didn't occur to me
that anyone would care.
Well, that's stupid.
I cared a lot.
And it's not just me.
Everybody's upset they missed it.
I heard Marjorie share, I know.
Strange as it may seem,
people want to be a part of our life
because they love you.
Honey, I am so sorry.
If I ever get married again, I promise you'll be there.
- Mom? - Yeah?
Can I please be the next one to get married?
Everyone's mad at me.
I'll need more context.
Turns out I'm beloved.
There was, like, a Royal Wedding level of interest
in seeing me get married.
You mean seeing us get married.
I don't remember anyone mentioning you, but maybe.
Our wedding was a gigantic mistake.
- Well, that didn't take long. - No...
I am serious. You really screwed us this time.
-我吗 -是啊 逼我结婚
- Me? u202d- Yeah. Pressuring me to get married.
And then tempting me with Arby's.
I mean, how could you forget I have a daughter?
You forget all the time.
Well, she's devastated.
And what about my friends?
You certainly didn't think about them.
You robbed those people of a moment of joy,
and they have so little to look forward to.
So what do you want to do-- have another wedding?
- Oh, like you'd do that. - Of course I'd do that.
I'd marry you at the bar tomorrow in front of everyone
if it'd get you to shut up.
Well, I'll never shut up. See you at 2:00.
- Fine! - u202dAnd fix that crazy hair.
Thank you for asking me to officiate.
Oh, let's face it-- we wouldn't still be together
if it wasn't for you.
Oh, that's a wild exaggeration.
Are you nervous?
It's my second wedding in three days.
I'm getting the hang of it.
Oh, you look beautiful.
Are you ready?
I can't believe I ever did this without you.
I'm so glad you're here.
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