极品老妈第五季第一集

Mom S05E01.

Part3

2020年1月3日 21:56

I'm supposed to be studying for a test
决定我人生的考试复习
that will determine the rest of my life,
但我很乐意陪你
but I'm happy to do it.
天啊我想在这里工作吗
Oh, my God. Do I even want to work here?
瞧瞧我得穿什么
I mean, look what I got to wear.
棕色涤纶外套和奶奶鞋
Brown polyester and grandma shoes.
别批评舒适的鞋子
Hey, don't knock comfortable footwear.
如果我能穿着这对宝贝跳脱衣舞
If I could've stripped in these babies,
我会再撑五年的
I would've lasted five more years.
别吃糖了
Stop eating sugar.
但我需要
But I need it.
你不需要
No, you don't.
现在觉得害怕很自然
Look, it's perfectly natural to feel scared right now.
我不害怕
I'm not scared.
你该害怕
You should be.
你已经年过四十
40 is in your rearview mirror,
你孩子在寄养家庭你只有找到一份正当工作
your kid's in foster care but you can't get her back
才能接回她
until you get a legit job,
而你只够格卖♥♥可♥卡♥因♥
and you're only qualified to sell cocaine
和毁掉别的男人的裤子
and ruin some guy's pants.
天啊天啊
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
-天啊我做不到 -不不不
- Oh, my God. I can't do this. - No, no, no.
没人喜欢伤心的服务员相信我我知道
Nobody likes a sad waitress. Trust me, I know.
吃点糖吧
Have some sugar.
-不要 -低脂糖
- No. - Sweet'N Low?
-不要 -葡萄果酱呢
- No. - Grape jelly?
有什么意义
What-what's the point?
我的生活已经被我毁干净了
I've screwed my life up so much
我再也没法重振旗鼓了
I'll never get it back together.
我来面试娜塔莎
Uh, I'm supposed to interview Natasha?
这就是她
And here she is.
你的新服务员女侍者或者侍者助手
Your new waitress, hostess or bus person.
你没事吧
Is everything okay?
没事她只是有点不知所措
Yeah. She's just a little overwhelmed.
但我跟你说肯尼
But let me tell you, Kenny,
在这里工作一直都是她的梦想
uh, it has always been a dream of hers to work here.
你好肯尼
Hi, Kenny.
实际上她刚还在和我说
In fact, she and I were just talking about
弗雷迪叔叔餐厅这种地方
how places like Uncle Freddy's
一直都是美国家庭生活的支柱
have always been the backbone of American family life.
我们的确很骄傲为大人物提供了大量食物
Well, we do pride ourselves on big portions for big people.
我只想死肯尼
I just want to die, Kenny.
瞧瞧她的身法
Look at that hustle.
想象一下她穿上合适鞋子的样子
Imagine when she has the right shoes.
好吧肯尼我们期待收到你的回复
Okay, Kenny. We, uh, we look forward to hearing from you.
等等娜塔莎那不是我的车
Wait, Natasha! That's not my car!
-亚当我 -不
- Adam, I... - Nope.
好吧那就回答了"你还生气吗"
Okay. That answers the question "Are you still mad?"
很幸运我有把钥匙来应对这种场合
Fortunately, I have a key for such occasions.
很抱歉
I am so sorry.
我当时措手不及
You just caught me off guard.
拜托再问我一次
Please, ask me again.
邦妮没关系
Bonnie, it's okay.
我们没必要结婚
We don't have to get married.
你当我女友也能羞辱我
You can humiliate me as my girlfriend.
不我爱你
No. I love you,
我想作为你妻子羞辱你
and I want to humiliate you as your wife.
亲爱的我发誓如果我有时间机器
Honey, I swear, if I had a time machine,
我会回到过去做正确的事
I would go back and make it right.
真的吗你就用时间机器做这事吗
Really? That's what you'd use a time machine for?
我也许会在几场比赛中下注
I might also make a few sports bets.
也许是小熊队
Maybe the Cubs.
你不会阻止我受伤吗
You wouldn't prevent this?
等我拿到时间机器
Look, if and when I get the time machine,
我们可以列张表
we can make a list.
拜托再向我求一次婚吧
Please, ask me to marry you again.
好吧邦妮你愿意嫁给
All right, fine. Bonnie, will you marry...
不对
No, no.
要说情话的长长的版本
The long version with all the nice stuff.
邦妮我爱你
Bonnie, I love you.
我也爱你
I love you, too.
我想跟你共度余生
I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
我也想跟你共度余生
I want to spend the rest of my life with you, too.
-你愿意嫁给我吗 -不愿意
- Will you marry me? - No.
我告诉我的嘴说愿意但"不愿意"直接跑出来了
I told my mouth to say yes, but "No" just came flying out.
亚当做了什么
What did Adam do?
他用轮椅碾了我的脚
He rolled over my foot.
知道吗是我活该
And you know what? I deserved it.
我是世界上最烂的人
I am the worst person in the world.
-你的确 -说句公平话
- Well, you do tend to... - Well, to be fair...
打住打住
Bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup.
你不是
No, you're not.
-克丽丝蒂怎么说 -她还不知道
- What did Christy say? - She doesn't know.
她去帮娜塔莎找工作了
She's out helping Natasha find a job.
那很棒啊
Isn't that great?
她找份工作接回孩子
She gets a job, gets her kid back,
我又一个人待在空荡荡的房♥子里了
and I'm stuck all alone in an empty house again.
大家都幸福美满了除了我
Everybody gets a fairy tale ending except for me.
我也想幸福美满
I want a fairy tale ending.
你确定吗
Are you sure about that?
也许你一直拒绝
Maybe you keep saying no
是因为你很久以来都是个可怕的人
because you've been a horrible person for so long
你觉得自己配不上亚当
you think you're not good enough for Adam.
这就解释了我为什么一直搞破坏
Well, that would explain why I've been sabotaging myself.
你该告诉亚当
You should tell Adam that.
他还跟你说话吗
Is he still speaking to you?
没门
Oh, hell no.
但是我也许有变通的办法
But, uh, I might have a work-around.
接受道歉
Apology accepted.
但是等等还有更多呢
But wait, there's more.
那是第十次吗下一次是不是免费
Was that the tenth one? Do I get the next one free?
你这辈子都将获得免费的"服务"
You are gonna be getting it free for a lifetime.
亚当·尤利西斯·贾尼考斯基
Adam Ulysses Janikowski.
那不是我的中间名
Not my middle name.
瞧我们还有了解彼此的空间
See? There's still things we get to learn about each other.
我只知道我爱你
All I know is that I love you
胜过世界上的一切请娶我吧
more than anything in the world, so please marry me.
你真难搞但是我愿意
Ah, you are a piece of work, but yes.
我愿意娶你
Yes, I will marry you.
天啊我们真的要这样做了
Oh, my God. We're really doing this.
永远在一起
Together forever.
你在看着世界上最大的傻♥逼♥
You are looking at the biggest idiot on the planet.
你就是
Yep, there you are.
瞧瞧我做了什么
Look what I did.
你答应了吗
You said yes?
别让我重温
Don't make me relive it.
好吧
Okay.
我好爱他
I love him so much.
为什么不想嫁给他
Why don't I want to marry him?
因为你内心深处
Because deep down inside
觉得自己不够好吗
you think you're not good enough?
玛乔丽也是这么说的
Nah, that's what Marjorie said.
妈妈你怕什么呢
Mom, what are you afraid of?
邪恶小丑
Evil clowns.
划掉所有小丑
Scratch that-- all clowns.
这辈子都嫁给同一个人
Being married to the same guy for the rest of my life.
你何不像坚持戒瘾那样对待婚姻呢
Why don't you approach marriage like you do staying sober?
一天一天慢慢来
You know? One day at a time.
这还行
Wow. That's not bad.
-你们定日期了吗 -没有
- Have you guys set a date? - No.
那你担心个什么劲