极品老妈第五季第四集

Mom S05E04

Part1

2020年1月3日 21:57

我能说
Can I just say
胶带有多么神奇吗
what a miracle duct tape is?
整栋楼都是靠它固定住的
It is literally holding this building together.
你何必带上工具箱呢
Why do you even bother with that toolbox?
因为我需要剪刀剪胶带
Well, 'cause I need scissors to cut the tape.
你在做什么
What are you doing?
填法学院申请表
Filling out law school applications.
斯坦福大学亲爱的
Stanford? Oh, honey.
这又像上次你以为
This is you thinking you had a shot
演员马特·狄龙看上了你一样
with Matt Dillon all over again.
我们在超♥市♥对视了很久
Hey, we had some serious eye contact at the supermarket.
他那是为了记住你的样貌好向警♥察♥报案
He was memorizing your face for the police report.
我不是真的要申请斯坦福大学
Well, I'm not actually applying to Stanford.
我拿这份小册子
I just picked up the brochure
只是为了让别的申请人紧张
to make the other applications nervous.
为什么不申请呢
Well, why not send it in?
也许他们为
Maybe they have a quota
痛苦孤独的中年酒鬼设置了配额
for bitter, lonely, middle-aged alcoholics.
但愿吧
We can hope.
但是与此同时每份申请表要花两百元
But meanwhile, each application ends up costing like $200.
每个人至少都申请了三到四所学校
And everyone applies to at least three or four schools.
-哦 -"哦"
- Oh. - "Oh"?
你什么意思我不该申请法学院吗
What's that supposed to mean? I shouldn't apply to law school?
反正我哪也上不了何必白费力气
I'm not gonna get anywhere, so why even bother?
我只说了个"哦"
All I said was, "Oh."
有时候我忘记了
Sometimes I forget how much craziness
你这椰子脑瓜有多疯狂
you're lugging around in that coconut.
抱歉
I'm sorry.
我压力很大
This is stressful.
也许我应该只选一所学校祈祷能被录取
Maybe I should just pick one school and pray I get accepted.
拜托
Oh, come on.
这是你的未来
This is your future.
别在这上面省钱
Don't cheap out.
我们只用减少铺张浪费就行了
We'll just cut back on some extravagances.
什么铺张浪费
What extravagances?
昨天我不得不缝了内♥裤♥上一个位置尴尬的洞
Yesterday I had to sew a poorly located hole in my underwear.
那么
Well...
好你买♥♥的高档饼干怎么说
okay, how about those fancy crackers you buy?
再说一次乐芝饼干不高档
Again, Ritz Crackers are not fancy.
你只是被名字骗了
You're just fooled by the name.
一定能省点钱出来
Well, there's got to be something.
我们最大的开销是什么
What's our biggest bill?
大概是有线电视和网络吧
Probably cable and Internet.
我们没偷有线信♥号♥♥吗我们怎么了
We're not stealing cable? What has happened to us?
我们变成了更好的人那花销很大
We became better people and that's very expensive.
好吧那我们断几个月有线电视和网络
Okay, well, let's give up cable and Internet for a few months.
真的吗
Really?
你愿意为我那样做吗
You'd do that for me?
谢谢
Thanks.
现在我能申请所有学校了
Now I can apply to all of them.
甚至斯坦福大学吗
Even Stanford?
我看机会不大
Ugh. I don't think so.
我为什么要给自己找伤心呢
Why set myself up for getting my heart broken?
如果你改变了主意
Well, if you change your mind
并且真伤了心
and your heart does break,
妈有胶带
duct tape.
极品老妈第五季第四集
我现在戒掉了大♥麻♥
I'm just saying, I've now given up pot,
药物可♥卡♥因♥ 酒精
pills, cocaine, alcohol
以及大部分非法活动
and most illegal activities,
但是没什么比戒网更难受
but nothing has kicked my ass like quitting the Internet.
没脸书没推特
No Facebook. No Twitter.
我的三十六个粉丝现在肯定担心死我了
My 36 followers are probably worried sick about me.
但顺其自然吧
But que sera.
我这样做是为了女儿
I'm doing this for my daughter
因为戒瘾让我成为了
because sobriety has transformed me
贴心慷慨富有同情心的人
into a thoughtful, generous, deeply empathic being.
还有谦虚
Not to mention humble.
我太谦虚了不好意思说谢谢你
I was too humble to say it, so thank you.
谢谢你们大家
Thank you all.
还有人想分享吗
Would anyone else like to share?
我来
I'll go.
我是娜塔莎我是个酒鬼
Hi, I'm Natasha and I'm an alcoholic.
娜塔莎
Hi, Natasha.
我必须告诉你们自从我开始
I got to tell you guys, since I started
认真戒瘾以后好事一直不断
taking sobriety seriously, great things keep happening.
我找到了工作
I got a job.
找到了公♥寓♥
I got an apartment.
接回了我女儿
I got my daughter back.
然后昨晚我遇到了一个男人
And then last night, I met this guy,
我告诉他我是创作歌♥手你们猜怎么着
and I told him I'm a songwriter, and guess what.
原来他是个音乐界大佬
It turns out he's a big deal in the music business
想要帮助我
and wants to help me.
多么难以置信啊
How unbelievable is that?
完全信不了
Entirely unbelievable.
总之他说他会听我的小样
Anyway, he says he's gonna listen to my demo
然后回复我
and get right back to me.
她不会这么单纯吧
She can't be this naive.
如果他喜欢的话他会请我周末
And if he likes it, he's gonna fly me down to L.A.
飞去洛杉矶采录几首歌♥
for the weekend to lay down some tracks.
被采的恐怕是花不是歌♥
Something's gonna get laid down, but it ain't tracks.
我明白你很多疑
I get it. You're skeptical.
没了网络
Without Internet, it's like
我更加注意周围的人
I'm much more aware of the people around me
我必须说
and I must say,
我不喜欢这样
I don't like it.
我代表你周围的人说我们也一样
On behalf of the people around you, right back at you.
我担心吉尔
I'm worried about Jill.
有谁有她的消息吗
Has anyone heard from her?
我给她发短♥信♥问她来不来今天的互助会
I texted her to see if she was going to the meeting today,
但她说她有事
but she said she was busy.
她也回绝了我
She blew me off, too.
那证明不了什么
Well, that doesn't prove anything.
自从艾米莉搬去和娜塔莎住以后
Ever since Emily moved back with Natasha,
吉尔就不在状态
Jill hasn't been herself.
你说的是她长的八百磅赘肉吗
Are you referring to the 800 pounds she's packed on?
别太刻薄
Don't be mean.
在她背后说不算刻薄
It's not mean when I say it behind her back.
温蒂你希望我当面还是背后
Wendy, would you rather I say horrible things
说你坏话
to you or behind your back?
我希望你永远别说
I'd rather you didn't say anything.
拜托选一个傻子
Come on. Pick one, stupid.
背后说
Behind my back.
女士们
Ladies.
我们的一个朋友身处困境
A friend of ours is in a tough situation
我们必须对她耐心关心和支持
and we have to be patient, caring and supportive.
老天啊
Oh, dear Lord.
女士们先生们猫王进来了
Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has entered the building.
你们觉得如何
What do you think?
很醒目
Very striking.
谢谢
Thank you.
这就是你不来互助会的原因吗
Is this why you couldn't make the meeting?
是的但没关系
Yeah, but it's okay.
我把在互助会上说的话
All the stuff I would've said in the meeting,
都说给造型师听了
I said to my stylist.
这不一样
It's not the same thing.
可不是吗
Tell me about it.
抒发完自己
Weird to talk about yourself
没人鼓掌真奇怪
and no one claps when you're done.
吉尔你得继续去互助会
Jill, you need to keep going to meetings.
我知道但我想着既然我戒瘾了