极品老妈第五季第五集

Mom S05E05

Part2

2020年1月3日 21:57

Beverly's smelling something dead in her apartment.
不是第一次了
Not the first time.
那里是希望和动物的坟墓
Hope and animals go there to die.
你想做什么
What do you want to do?
显然我什么都做不了
Well, clearly I can't do anything,
但你最好立刻去处理
but you better get right on it.
我们就不能打开热气
Can't we just turn up the heat
看能不能把那未知物烘干吗
and see if whatever it is dries out?
上去吧
Just get up there.
拿上我工具箱里的榔头
Oh, and grab the hammer out of my toolbox.
有时候死动物没死透
Sometimes the dead thing isn't completely dead.
什么
What?
它们又抓又咬试图在你身上产卵
They scratch, they nip, they try to lay eggs in you.
很恶心
It's disgusting.
如果死动物咬了我我就来咬你
If the dead thing bites me, I am biting you.
我会咬回去的
Ooh. I'll bite you back.
这就是你们的播客名
There's your podcast:
《戒瘾妞互咬》
sober chicks who bite each other.
你看到什么了吗
Do you see anything?
是的是只死老鼠
Yep, it's a dead mouse.
等等
Wait.
对死透了
Yeah, it's dead.
你得换新夹子了
You're gonna need a new pair of tongs.
为什么那不过是另一种肉
Why? It's just another kind of meat.
现在我有点庆幸
Now I'm kind of glad
我没收你送我的千层面了
I turned down the lasagna you offered me.
好的我去把米奇老鼠丢到垃圾箱里
Okay, I'm just gonna go throw Mickey in the Dumpster.
干完以后你能开车送我去药店吗
After that, can you drive me to the pharmacy?
什么
What?
我晚上不能开车是你妈妈带我去的
I can't drive at night. Your mom takes me.
-我妈妈 -是的
- My mother? - Yeah.
我妈妈帮你忙吗
My mother does you favors?
克丽丝蒂这又不是捐肾
Christy, it's not a kidney.
只是送我去药店
It's just a ride to the pharmacy.
好吧
Okay.
我想我能送你去
Well, I guess I can take you.
谢谢
Thank you.
天呐天呐
Oh! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
好我们走吧
All right, off we go.
不
No.
不
No.
绝不
God, no.
等等
Wait.
不
No.
好吧我们回到《至尊辩护律师》西语版了
Okay, we're back to Matlock in Spanish.
你知道坐轮椅最糟糕的一点是什么吗
You know the worst thing about being in a wheelchair?
愿听指教
Enlighten me.
我太无聊了
I'm just so bored.
我有很多精力无处释放
I have all this energy and nothing to do with it.
感觉我通常的活力被浪费了
It's like my usual sparkle is being wasted.
我不介意你把一点活力用在我身上
I wouldn't mind getting a little of that sparkle on me.
你在说什么
What are you talking about?
真的吗这样说还不明显吗
Really? The sparkle thing wasn't clear?
看看我样子不可能的
Look at me. It's not happening.
可能的
Oh, it's happening.
一部分已经开始行动了
Parts of it have already started.
拉我起来拉我起来
Pull me up. Pull me up.
我在拉
I'm pulling.
旋转和滑动旋转和滑动
Swivel and slide. Swivel and slide!
别晃了
Stop flailing.
我们做到了
Oh! Hey, we got it.
正确的部位接触了
The right parts are touching.
我们现在应该脱了
We should probably get undressed now.
要不你给我挠挠背我们睡一觉吧
How about you just tickle my back and we take a nap.
好了
All right.
告诉你一声灯亮了
Just so you know, the light is on.
谢谢克丽丝蒂
Oh, thanks, Christy.
我能问个问题吗
Mind if I ask a question?
盲人为什么需要灯泡吗
Why does a blind man need a light bulb?
正是
That was the one.
它有助于调理我的生理节奏
It helps regulate my circadian rhythms.
而且我的朋友们不喜欢坐在黑暗中
Also, I have friends who don't like to sit in the dark.
是啊从来没想过这点
Oh, yeah. Never thought about that.
我能再请你帮个忙吗
Can I ask one more favor?
当然可以
Sure.
你妈妈来修东西时
When your mom drops in to fix something,
她通常会留一会给我读读东西
she usually hangs around and reads to me.
拜托她才不会
Oh, come on. She does not.
一开始她会给我读邮件
Started out she'd read my mail,
然后慢慢到了读书
then we worked our way up to books.
她都没给我读过书
She never even read to me.
真是个悲伤的故事
That's a sad story.
我的书在桌上
My book is on the table.
好吧
Okay.
我有几分钟时间
I guess I got a couple minutes.
请从书签处念起
From the bookmark, please.
第12章
"Chapter 12.
她走进了我的办公室
"She walked into my office
大长腿能把男人绕两圈
"On legs that could wrap around a man twice.
她双唇之间叼着的香烟
"I felt a twinge of jealousy
让我感到一阵嫉妒
for the cigarette between her lips."
苏斯博士[儿童文学家]
Hey, Dr. Seuss,
这可不是儿童读物
it's not a children's book.
她双唇之间叼着的香烟
"I felt a twinge of jealousy
让我感到一阵嫉妒
for the cigarette between her lips."
不错
Mmm.
上帝
"The kind of lips
造出这种丰唇只为一个原因只有一个
that God made for one reason and one reason only."
真有画面感
Oh, that's graphic.
别看我啊是你妈妈选的书
Don't look at me. Your mom picked the book.
我对天发誓
Hand to God,
她为盲人读书帮老人办事
she reads to blind guys, helps old people run errands,
还有听好了
and-- get ready for this one--
她收到了一位房♥客的社会保险支票
she got a tenant's Social Security check in the mail,
她居然还了
and she returned it.
哇哦
Whoa.
我妈妈可能暗地里是个好人吗
Is it possible my mom's secretly a nice person?
-不 -不可能
- No. - Not a chance.
如果我妈妈一直吹嘘
I mean, I'd get it if my mom was bragging
自己是个多好的人那我能理解
all over the place about what a great person she is,
但问题是这样的她没有
but here's the thing-- she's not.
她就默默地做这些好事
She's doing all this nice stuff on the down low.
好吧我们从另一种角度来看待此事
Okay, well, let's try to look at this in a new way.
我们都知道戒瘾能让奇迹发生
We all know from sobriety miracles can happen.
吸毒妓♥女♥成了总裁当然可以
Junkie hooker becomes CEO, sure.
邦妮·普兰科特成了好人不可能
Bonnie Plunkett becomes a nice person, no.
戒瘾期的人们会改变
People do change in recovery.
是真的
It's true.
我以前很安静精神不振
I used to be very quiet and low energy.
你现在真是鼓舞人心啊
And you are an inspiration.
但我妈妈是不同的动物
But my mom is a different kind of animal.
她就是个动物
My mom... is an animal.
你有权这样觉得
Well, you have every right to feel that way
考虑到你们的过去但也许是时候
given your history, but maybe it's time
我们都承认她变成了更好的人了
we all admit she's becoming a better person.
拜托你知道
Oh, please. You know that story
青蛙帮蝎子过河的故事吧
about the frog helping the scorpion cross the river?
知道你妈妈是蝎子
Yeah. Your mother's the scorpion,
她本性难移
and she can't change her nature.
不我妈妈是河大家都淹死了
No. My mother's the river, and everybody drowns in her.
我把她弄进浴缸了