It's not fair.
我每天都在你面前展现我们家的丑事
I parade my dirty family laundry in front of you every day.
这是你欠我的
You owe me this.
好吧
All right, fine.
那家冲浪板公♥司♥ 是我的主意
That surfboard company, my idea.
我在那里工作 我帮公♥司♥起步
I worked there. I helped get it started,
但是成功后 他算了我的一份利益吗
but did he cut me in on the profits once it became a success?
-我猜没算 -什么都没有
- I'm guessing no. - Nothing.
真荒谬
Well, that's ridiculous.
那些利益应该是我们...是你的
Those profits should be ours-- yours.
谢谢
Thank you.
天啊
God.
你知道我今晚为什么不爽吗
You know what really upset me tonight?
发现我女儿是个糟糕的服务员
Discovering that my daughter is a terrible waitress.
我依然觉得你不该向经理投诉
I still don't think you should've complained to the manager.
不然她怎么变好呢
How else is she gonna get better?
你在吃垃圾堆里的蛋糕吗
Are you eating garbage cake?
没被碰过
It was untouched.
纪念日晚餐
Anniversary dinner.
她点蛋糕时 他看了她一眼
He shot her a look when she ordered the cake.
然后情况急转直下
Things went downhill fast.
既然这样 给我个叉子
Well, in that case, hand me a fork.
谢谢
Thank you.
真是个惊喜 你为什么回来
This is a surprise. What brings you back?
我的酒店垃圾堆里没什么好吃的
Ah, there's nothing good in my hotel's garbage.
我本想过来喝点睡前酒
I thought I was coming back here for a nightcap.
现在这样好多了
This is so much better.
你确定不喝吗
You sure?
这里还有半杯马丁尼酒
I got half a martini in here.
等等 里面有个虾尾
Wait. There's a shrimp tail in it.
不 我不喝了
No, I'm good.
你撑过了和我妈妈的晚餐吗
So, did you survive dinner with my mother?
天啊 我喜欢她
Oh, my God, I love her.
她很幽默
She's hilarious.
不准你吃蛋糕了
No more cake for you.
任何能让我哥哥难受的人我都喜欢
Hey, anybody gives my brother a hard time is okay by me.
说个大实话
To be perfectly honest,
我晚餐大部分时间
um, I spent most of dinner
都在等你回到我们桌边
waiting for you to come back to the table.
天啊
Oh, my God.
向经理投诉我的人是你吗
Are you the one who complained to my manager?
不是 只是每次你回到我们桌边时
No, it's just that every time you came back to the table,
事情会变得... 你知道
things were... you know,
非常好
really good.
抱歉
Sorry.
我刚离婚不久 有点生疏
I'm recently divorced. I'm a little rusty.
不好意思 你在和我调情吗
I'm sorry. Are you flirting with me?
你看不出来吗
You couldn't tell?
我在这方面有点迟钝
See, this is where my rustiness comes in.
你也离婚不久吗
Ah, newly divorced, too, huh?
不 只是人比较迟钝
Nope, just good old rust.
我想说的是
Well, um, what I'm trying to say is, uh,
我明天本该离开
I'm supposed to be leaving tomorrow,
如果你明天有空
and if you happen to be free tomorrow
并且对我的提议感兴趣
and are amenable to what I'm about to propose,
我想我可以多留一晚
I was thinking I could stay an extra night
为了明天带你出去约会
for the express purpose of taking you out tomorrow.
确认一下 我们说的是明天吗
Just to be clear, we're talking about tomorrow?
是的 尽管现在是午夜
Yeah. Although it is midnight,
所以明天就是今天
so tomorrow is now today.
所以 今天
So, uh... ...today.
我很愿意
I'd really like that.
太好了
Oh, great. Great.
我会带上油壶
I'll bring the oil can.
因为迟钝
For the rustiness.
《绿野仙踪》[铁皮人因生锈迟钝要加油]
You know, Wizard of Oz.
不是因为下面干
Not dry vagina.
老天 我...
My God, I...
我刚说了"下面干"
I just said "Dry vagina."
还指了呢
And pointed.
好 你觉得如何
Okay, what do you think?
很好 让我看看屁♥股♥
Great. Let me see the tush.
可恶 我以前也有那样可爱的小屁♥股♥
Damn it, I used to have a cute, little booty like that.
你会再有的
You will again.
你已经减了六磅
You already lost six pounds.
五磅 昨晚花了三百美元
Mm, five. Paid 300 bucks
买♥♥了黑市的甘草糖
for some black market licorice last night.
邦妮
Hey, Bonnie.
你也听见了吧
You heard that, too, right?
是吉尔
It's Jill.
我们在连线
We're Skyping.
你为连线倒是衣着光鲜
You're awfully dressed up for that.
-她有约会 -真的吗 和谁
- She's got a date. - Really? With who?
-只是某个男人 -亚当的弟弟
- Just a guy. - Adam's brother.
太好玩了
This is fun!
但他走了
But he left town.
他决定为我多留一天
He decided to stay an extra day just for little old me.
你在开玩笑吗 你不能和亚当的弟弟约会
Are you kidding me? You can't go out with Adam's brother.
但我依然穿了好胸罩 正要出门
And yet I've got my good bra on, and I'm headed out the door.
不不 你不明白
No, no, you don't get it.
亚当真的不喜欢他
Adam really doesn't like him.
我也不喜欢你 但我们一周一起吃八顿饭
I don't like you, but we eat eight meals a week together.
等等 为什么亚当不喜欢他弟弟
Wait. So why does Adam not like his brother?
我不在乎 他要再留一晚
I don't care! He's in town for one more night,
他像一个尴尬的
and he asked me out
八年级学生一样约我出来 所以我要去
like an awkward eighth grader, so I'm going.
告诉你一下 你和你的胸罩毁了我的生活
Just so you know, you and your bra are ruining my life.
真想念你们
Oh, I miss you girls.
喂
Hello?
我在对空房♥间说话吗
Am I talking to an empty room?
天啊 我饿死了
God, I'm so hungry.
楼梯这
Staircase.
发生了什么
What's going on?
发生的事是我想跟我男人度过
What's going on is I wanted some quality time
一些黄金时光
with my man.
我们可以吗 克丽丝蒂在哪
Can we do that? Where's Christy?
她今晚去约会了
She had a date tonight.
真不错
Oh, good for her. You know,
我不懂为什么
I don't understand why some guy
还没人被她迷住
hasn't just swept her off her feet.
看来你家人都是这种想法
Well, I guess that thought runs in your family,
因为你弟弟为了约她出去多住了一天
'cause your brother stayed an extra day to take her out.
吻我
Kiss me.
邦妮 邦妮
Bonnie. Bonnie.
亚当 哦 亚当
Adam. Oh, Adam...
等等 稍等一会儿
Wait, w-wait. Hang on a minute.
克丽丝蒂和帕特里克约会去了吗
Christy's on a date with Patrick?
没错 脱裤子吧
That's right. Let's get those pants off.
-这都怪你 -你什么意思
- You know, you did this. - What do you mean?
我本来打算跟他出去喝一杯
I was just gonna go out and have a drink with him
签几份文件 但是不行
and sign some papers, but no,
你非得插手这事
you had to stick your nose in there
搞成邦妮的作风
and Bonnie it all up.
我本来打算用这张嘴来说我很抱歉
Hey, I was gonna use this mouth to say I'm sorry,
但它也可以轻松地去吃个三明治
but it can just as easily go eat a sandwich.
你最喜欢在哪里冲浪
So, what's your favorite place to surf?
也许是哥斯达黎加
Ah. Uh... Costa Rica, probably.
有次我在等海浪打过来时
You know, one time I was, um, waiting for a set to come in
突然发现我被海豚包围了
when I realized, suddenly, that I was surrounded by dolphins.
听起来真美
Wow, that sounds beautiful. Ah.
的确 然后我发现