Mmm, somebody smells nice. Ah.
I pretended to buy makeup
so I could swipe perfume samples at Macy's.
Looks like the forecast is cloudy
with a chance of doing it.
Can you guys go somewhere else
to talk about Christy banging my brother?
No one's banging anyone.
We decided to get to know each other first.
I'm sorry, but having sex
is how you get to know each other.
If I could carry the TV into the kitchen, I would.
All I'm saying is
there's a real danger in waiting, Christy.
You could develop serious feelings for Patrick
and then find out he's got a crooked unit.
Well, that wouldn't matter to me.
Ugh. All right.
It's already too late.
Help us out here, Adam.
You guys grew up together.
is there anything exotic or unorthodox in the swimsuit area?
If death took me right now, I would not hate it.
So, where are we going?
Well, Christy, as you may have gleaned,
I am something of a planner.
So I made two dinner reservations
at equally fine restaurants, and you get to pick.
Wow. You made reservations,
you're not married, you're not wearing cargo shorts.
I'm getting a little dizzy.
Well, before you pass out, here are your choices.
Steak house known for their prime rib,
seafood place known for their lobster.
Lobster freaks me out.
It's a giant sea bug and I'm not having it.
Sometimes they make you pick out your own.
I don't want to decide which one dies.
Who made me lobster god?
Ugh. Speaking of giant sea bugs, it's my mom.
Watch. This is my most favorite thing in the world.
Really? Most favorite?
Mine's water slides.
Oh, for God's sake, Mom.
Sorry, I better take this.
I'm on a date, which you know. Why are you calling?
I'll be right there.
I'm gonna need a rain check.
My friend Marjorie's husband had a stroke.
He just collapsed right there in the hall.
Well, you got him to the hospital right away.
That's always the most important thing.
Yes. That's the important thing.
That and life insurance.
He can't get coverage now.
We'll be right back.
What is wrong with you?
What? That's a legitimate question.
Have you priced a casket lately?
Yeah, when you had that cough that wouldn't go away.
Okay, from now on,
if you have the urge to say something, don't.
So I'm just supposed to sit there?
No. Try to be helpful.
Offer her a cup of tea or something. Ugh.
I'll try, but I know a thing or two
about freezing a dead guy's head, so if there's a lull,
I might bring it up.
Wendy, how is he?
He's out of surgery and stable.
Oh, thank God.
Oh, that's great news.
Stable is good.
Can I see him?
In a few hours when we move him to ICU.
Oh, so I guess what Victor's saying is,
"I-C-U in a few hours."
Would you like some tea?
Mmm, pass me the popcorn.
You ate it all.
Why would you hand me an empty bowl?
'Cause I wanted you to know that I ate it all.
Well, to that I say,
why are you hitting yourself,
why are you hitting yourself, huh? Ow.
So, what are we supposed to do?
Stay up all night? What's the plan?
- Plan? - Yeah.
Dude, you're in Plunkettville.
There are no plans.
What does that mean?
This is how it works when you date an aggressively sober woman.
They have a lot of friends with a lot of problems
and they show up for everything together.
When there's a crisis,
they shine the AA signal on a cloud.
And then they're gone for hours.
So they're like superheroes with a weakness for gin?
AA is kind of Bonnie and Christy's whole life,
but I found a way to work around it.
I got Bonnie to do her meetings on Monday night,
Thursday night and Sunday night.
You-you found a way to watch prime-time football
and make it look like a favor.
I told my buddies at the sports bar.
They're thinking of building me a shrine.
You deserve one.
Yeah, and I always have a designated driver,
but I'm not supposed to be too happy about it
or it's a red flag.
She says that Victor's stable,
but that they're gonna spend the night
in the hospital with Marjorie.
Oh, well, maybe I should go over there
and bring Christy a change of clothes.
Oh, no, no, no. No way.