你说的就是罗德·斯图尔特
And you just described Rod Stewart.
克丽丝蒂 你和帕特里克怎么样
Christy, how's it going with Patrick?
我们过去几周都在发短♥信♥
Oh, we've been texting the past couple weeks,
但是 那很难
but... it's hard.
不管怎样 爱情总是难的
Well, one way or another, love is always hard.
你为什么要装作19世纪50年代的药剂师
Why are you pretending to be a pharmacist from the 1850s?
因为他还是没法吞咽
Because he's still having trouble swallowing,
所以我得碾碎他的药
so I have to crush up his meds and give them to him
通过胃管喂给他吃
through the tube in his stomach.
情况会好起来的
It's gonna get better.
希望如此
I hope so.
你得离开家里 出去走一走
You need to get out of here for a while.
是啊 快去参加互助会和美甲
Yeah. A meeting and a pedicure, stat.
天啊 听起来真棒
Boy, that sounds so good.
我不能离开他
I-I can't leave him.
你也得照顾好自己
You have to take care of yourself, too.
就像是飞机上的那件事
Yeah, it's like that whole thing on the airplane
你得先给自己戴氧气面罩 再给你孩子戴
when you got to put your mask on first before you put it on the kid.
但你最终还是该给我戴
But you're supposed to put it on me eventually.
你平安到了奥兰多 别提了
You made it to Orlando. Let it go.
计划是这样的
Okay, here's the plan:
你带玛乔丽出去 我留在这里
you take Marjorie out, I'll hold down the fort.
天啊 也许你们说得对 我需要换个地方
Oh, boy. Maybe you're right, I could use a change of scenery.
你确定你能应付维克托吗
Are you sure you can handle Victor?
当然了
Of course.
好吧
Okay.
他很快会醒来
He's-he's gonna wake up soon.
这是医嘱
These are the doctor's instructions.
好
Okay.
好
Okay.
好
Okay.
好 你可以的 克丽丝蒂
Okay. You got this, Christy.
难以置信你把我丢在那待了一下午
I can't believe you left me there all afternoon.
我今天也并不愉快啊
Hey. My day wasn't exactly a picnic, either.
你真的想把
You're seriously trying to compare
照顾中风患者和美甲相提并论吗
caring for a stroke victim to a mani-pedi?
你看见了玛乔丽的脚吗
Have you seen Marjorie's feet?
我从没见过她穿露脚趾的鞋
I've never even seen her in open-toed shoes.
那是有原因的
Well, there's a reason.
好恶心啊
Yikes.
这对她来说一定很难受
This must be so hard for her.
前一分钟你坠入爱河 有伴侣
One minute you're in love, you've got a partner,
接下来你就要照顾
and the next you're caring for somebody
一个完全无助的人了
who's completely helpless.
真令人难受
It's so sad.
她有个脚趾甲看起来像是小屋屋顶
She has one toenail that looks like the roof of a shed.
我就想洗个舒舒服服暖暖和和的消毒液澡
I just want to take a nice, hot Purell bath
上油管看那些水獭手拉着手
and look at those otters holding hands on YouTube.
我最喜欢的部分是它们被分开
Oh. My favorite part is when they get separated,
然后它们又会去拉对方的手
then they reach back for each other.
对吧 它们在做选择
Right? They're making a choice.
天啊 帕特里克
Oh, my God, Patrick!
你怎么来了
Uh, what are you doing here?
我意识到 关于圣克鲁兹我有一处不喜欢
Well, I realized something I didn't like about Santa Cruz.
太多嬉皮士了吗 嬉皮士不够多吗 是什么
Too many hippies? Not enough hippies? What?
你不在那
You weren't there.
真是蹩脚
Oh, what a cheeseball.
也许吧 但我喜欢
Maybe, but I like it.
我不介意
You know, I wouldn't mind
偶尔也给我尝点甜头
a little cheese every now and then.
你离开两周 看看会发生什么
Go away for two weeks-- let's see what happens.
我现在带你去
Hey, so, how about I finally
吃高档晚餐怎么样
take you out to that fancy dinner, huh?
给我点时间洗澡 打扮一下
Give me time to take a shower and make myself pretty.
你已经很美了 不用打扮了
Oh, well, you're already pretty.
瞧 就那样 像那样做
See? That right there, be like that.
没料到你今晚会回家
Hey. Didn't expect you home tonight.
是啊 如果你早回来十分钟
Yeah. If you'd have been ten minutes earlier,
就会看到
you would have seen...
总之 欢迎回家
Anyway, welcome home.
你们挂条毛巾会死啊
Would it kill you to throw down a towel?
你为什么不在帕特里克的酒店房♥间里
Why aren't you back at Patrick's hotel room
自己挂毛巾
throwing down your own towel?
吃完晚餐后 我们变得有些尴尬
After dinner, things got kind of awkward.
他说他累了 让我下车了
Then he said he was tired and dropped me off.
出什么事了
What happened?
没什么大不了的
It's not that big a deal.
我们在聊天 他问我今天过得怎么样
We were talking, he asked me about my day,
我跟他说了我照顾维克托的事
and I told him about taking care of Victor.
那有什么问题
What's wrong with that?
然后我提到了
Then I mentioned
如果帕特里克年老力衰 中风了
that I could see myself taking care of Patrick
我能想象到照顾他的样子
if he has a stroke when he's old.
该死 什么...
Yikes! What...?
你什么毛病啊
What is wrong with you?
我还以为你喜欢他
I thought you liked him.
我也许用了尿布这词
And I may have used the word "Diaper."
天啊
Oh! Oh, my God!
但那都是30年后的事了
But this is all 30 years from now!
你说了30年吗
You said 30 years?
我一般不会觉得你是个笨蛋
Wow, I don't usually think of you as stupid.
我们在一起两年 还订婚了
We've been together two years, and we're engaged,
我们都不谈未来
and we don't talk about the future.
聊六小时内发生的事 这是我们的极限
Six hours in advance-- that's our max.
是啊 看好了 我们明晚做什么
Yeah. Watch. What are we doing tomorrow night?
我明天告诉你
I'll tell you tomorrow.
你们觉得我吓到他了吗
Do you think I scared him?
像是下水道的小丑
Like a clown in a sewer.
谢了 妈妈
Thanks, Mom.
我们的小女儿要孤独终老了
Our little girl's gonna die alone.
我拦截了你的送餐员
I intercepted your room service order.
我什么都没点 所以你最好快点进来
Uh, I didn't order anything, so you better come in quick.
你也许想知道我为什么来了
So, you're probably wondering why I'm here.
你是说你不是来偷一些
Oh, you mean you didn't just come by to steal some, uh--
那是什么 墨西哥式煎蛋的吗
what is that?-- huevos rancheros?
我想为昨晚的事向你道歉
I just wanted to apologize for last night.
我只是在跟你说我的一天
I was trying to tell you about my day,
突然我跳到了30年后
and suddenly I was 30 years in the future
还把你也拖下水了
and kind of dragging you along with me.
我得承认 那让我有些害怕
Well, I-I have to admit, it did freak me out a little bit.
我知道 很抱歉
I know. I'm so sorry.
你得理解 我刚
Well, you got to understand, I'm just...
摆脱一段漫长的婚姻
getting out of a long marriage,
我19岁后就没有独自一人过
and I haven't been alone since I was 19.
我懂
I get it. I get it.
-嗯 -你想多谈谈恋爱
- Yeah. - You want to play the field,
看看有哪些美女
you want to see what's out there,
划掉性♥爱♥遗愿清单里的几项
you want to cross some things off your sex bucket list.
我不知道性♥爱♥遗愿清单是什么
Uh, I don't know what a sex bucket is,
但是没错 基本上我的计划就是那样
uh, but yeah, that was basically the plan.
然后我遇到了你
And then I met you, and...
我想真正让我害怕的是
I guess what really scares me
想着未来的不止你一个
is that you weren't the only one thinking about the future.
是吗
I wasn't?
不是 我们甚至还没上过床
No. I mean, I mean, we... haven't even slept together.
我看到了一处可爱的海滩别♥墅♥
Uh, I saw this cute little beach house,
我就想着
and I thought to myself,
也许克丽丝蒂和我该住在那里
"Maybe Christy and I should live there."
你的幻想有海滩别♥墅♥
Your fantasy has a beach house.
我的幻想则是你垫尿布
Mine has you in a diaper.