极品老妈第五季第八集

Mom S05E08

Part1

2020年1月3日 21:57

大家好我是克丽丝蒂酒瘾者
Hi. Christy, alcoholic.
你好克丽丝蒂
Hi, Christy.
我忍♥不住想
I can't help thinking
五年前圣诞节我在哪
where I was Christmas five years ago.
我真的有认真想过
I mean, I-I've really thought about it and...
我真记不清我在哪了
I literally don't know where I was.
但如果你们谁那时和我在一起也许你能帮我
But if any of you were there, maybe you could help me
拼凑起记忆或者我向你致歉
piece it together or my deepest apology,
两者都适用谢谢
whichever applies. Thanks.
大家好我是玛乔丽我是酒瘾者
Hi, I'm Marjorie and I'm an alcoholic.
你好玛乔丽
Hi, Marjorie.
今年节日很不好过因为维克托病了
This is a difficult holiday with Victor being sick,
而且
and, uh,
我知道我需要把精力放在他身上
I know I need to focus on him,
所以我很难过地宣布
so I'm sad to say
我不会举办年度圣诞饼干派对了
that I won't be able to host my annual Christmas cookie party.
我当然很失望...
Aw. u202dOf course I'm disappointed...
还好我们在互助会上能控制住悲伤
Good thing we're in a meeting so we can manage our grief.
-嘘 -对啊嘘
- Shh. - u202dYeah, shh.
我喜欢互助会
I love this meeting.
你们真的帮我度过了过去的几周
You ladies have really carried me through the last few weeks,
为了表示感谢下周
so to show my gratitude, next week
我会带上我著名的坚果水果硬糖
I am bringing my famous nutty fruit log.
好耶
Yay.
还有谁想分享吗
Would anyone else like to share?
-我是玛丽酒瘾者 -我是玛丽
- Mary, alcoholic. - Hi, Mary.
恐怕玛丽今年不是很快乐
I'm afraid Mary isn't very merry this year.
我最近发现
It was recently brought to my attention
我的节日信不是很受欢迎
that my holiday letter was a bit of a bummer.
-我们好像没收到过 -我们收到过
- I don't think we got one. - u202dWe did.
所以桌子现在不晃了
That's why the table doesn't wobble anymore.
我知道告诉所有人我女儿在监狱里
I understand telling everyone that my daughter was in jail,
我兄弟被驱逐出境我的红眼病复发
that my brother got evicted, and that my pink eye came back,
不是很契合节日氛围但事实就是事实
was not exactly holiday cheer, but it is what happened,
我还特意押韵了
and I did make it rhyme.
感谢让我分享
Thanks for letting me share.
我知道你们都在乎
I know you all care.
好吧该我了
Okay. Okay, my turn.
我是邦妮酒瘾者
Bonnie, alcoholic.
邦妮
Hi, Bonnie.
每个人总是说圣诞节时
Everybody always shares about how hard it is
有多么艰难
around the Christmas holiday.
对她们我要说气死你们
And to them I say, ba-bam!
我只想说这个
That's all I got.
圣诞快乐
Merry Christmas.
极品老妈第五季第八集
天啊
Ugh. Wow.
看看快乐的人为节日做了什么
Look what happy people do for the holidays.
拜托他们显然是在过度补偿
Please. They're obviously overcompensating.
你看到的是节日快乐我看到的是一对可悲的夫妇
You see Christmas cheer, I see a miserable couple
处在离婚边缘
on the brink of divorce.
你这是从前门看出来的吗
You get all that from the front door?
而且我读了他们的信件
And I read their mail.
你没关灯吗
Did you leave the light on?
天啊我们被抢了
Oh, my God, we've been robbed.
抢了什么啊
Of what?
我们什么都没有
We don't have anything.
我的笔记本
My laptop.
该死我把表放床头柜上了
Oh, damn it, I left my watch on the nightstand.
-那是你吗 -不我在后面
- Was that you? - No. I was in back.
天啊也就是说他们还在这里
Oh, my God! That means they were still in here.
快出去
Get out, get out, get out!
他们应该是出来了啊
That means they're out here now.
快进去
Get in, get in, get in!
看起来他是从卧室窗户进来的
Looks like he got in through the bedroom window.
他也可能是个女人
He? It could've been a woman.
当然
Sure.
你们最好把窗户修好
You might want to get that window fixed.
我会跟大楼管♥理♥员♥说的
I'll tell the building manager.
我相信她几个月内会修的
I'm sure she'll get to it in a few months.
现在合适吗
Is now really the time?
这是失窃物品的清单
Here is a list of the missing items.
你们有可能找到我们的东西吗
Is there any chance you're gonna find our stuff?
你想要希望还是真♥相♥
You want hope or the truth?
两者我都没有过我只想要我的笔记本
I've never had either. I just want my laptop.
好
Sure.
-谢谢警官 -没事
- Thanks, officers. - Yeah.
我感觉我们这事
I don't get the feeling we're the cold case
不是他们会在意一辈子的疑案
those two are gonna carry to their graves.
那电脑上有我的学期论文
I had a term paper on that computer
我的成绩全靠它
and it's my entire grade.
你备份了吗
Did you back it up?
如果我备份了我现在会焦虑吗
If I had backed it up, would I be freaking out right now?
也许吧你挺急躁的
Maybe. You run pretty hot.
现在我会不及格然后我没法毕业
Now I'm gonna fail that class, and then I won't graduate,
然后我没法进法学院
and then I won't get into law school
所有的努力都化为泡影
and all this hard work will have been for nothing,
我还不如把头塞进烤炉里
and I might as well just stick my head in the oven.
如果那是你的计划厨房♥在那边
Well, if that's the plan, kitchen's over there.
这就完了
That's it?
你不劝劝我吗
You're not gonna talk me down?
不好意思但这里有两个受害人
Excuse me, but there are two victims here.
那个卑劣的混♥蛋♥偷了我的表
That worthless punk stole my watch.
不
Oop, no.
在这呢
Here it is.
看起来他们没动罗斯科的东西
Hmm. Looks like they didn't touch Roscoe's stuff.
棒球卡漆弹枪
Baseball cards, paintball gun.
也许我们应该考虑买♥♥把真枪
Hey, maybe we should consider getting a real gun.
你是认真的吗
Are you serious?
是的我们是成年人我们有分寸...
Yeah, we're adults. We know what to...
抱歉这是意外
I'm sorry. It was an accident.
这不是意外
It was not an accident!
拜托我为什么要枪击你
Oh, come on, why would I shoot you?
你为什么不枪击我
Why wouldn't you shoot me?
去拿个毛巾来
Go get a towel.
还想买♥♥真枪吗
Still want to get a real gun?
你打算开着灯睡觉吗
Are you planning on sleeping with the lights on?
我根本没打算睡觉
I don't plan on sleeping at all.
某个陌生人进了我们家令我很不安
It just creeps me out some stranger was in our home.
是啊
Yeah.
就我们所知他有可能来这里
I mean, for all we know, he could have come up here
用丑陋的光屁♥股♥蹭了你的枕头
and rubbed his ugly naked butt on your pillow.
你为什么这样说
Why would you say that?
得了吧我们都在这样想
Oh, come on, we're both thinkin' it.
不我真没这样想
No, I really wasn't.
你现在想了
You are now.
那是什么声音
What was that?
听起来像热水器
Sounds like the water heater.
怎么可能是热水器
How could it be the water heater?
热水器是坏的
The water heater doesn't work.
也许贼进来修好了
Maybe the burglar broke in and he's fixing it.
至少有人修了
Well, at least somebody is.
我说过我记着呢
I told you, it's on my list.
-我在等零件 -我在等零件我确实在等
- I'm waiting for parts. - I'm waiting for parts. Well, I am.
关上灯睡觉吧
Just turn off the light and go to bed.
我以前闯进过别人家
I broke into a house once.
什么
What?
是的
Yep.
我需要钱买♥♥毒品
I needed money for drugs.
我观察了几个房♥子
I cased a couple of houses.
我看到一家邮件没人取