Previously on Mom... u202d
I was thinking I could stay an extra night
for the express purpose of taking you out.
- I'd really like that. - u202dOh, great.
Are you kidding me? You can't go out with Adam's brother.
And yet I've got my good bra on and I'm headed out the door.
Yeah, but I actually have to get back home tomorrow.
I'm gonna miss you.
You think we should try the long-distance thing?
But while I've got you here...
You ready for your coffee, babe?
Starting today, I am giving it up.
Coffee is your only source of water.
When did water become such a big thing?
Isn't it enough that I bathe in it?
Where did all this come from?
I read it on Facebook.
"Five Things You Should Give Up for a Happier Life."
Was number one Facebook?
Hey, how come you guys didn't wake me up for school?
'Cause you're not seven.
I wish I was. I liked living alone.
You want a bagel?
Thanks, but all I need is coffee.
How sad to be so dependent. I remember those days.
She gave up coffee 30 seconds ago.
Good for you.
You're a dead man.
She's just kidding.
I just missed another phone call from Patrick.
How does this happen? I was holding my phone in my hand.
Why do you hate love?
Why don't you stop playing phone tag
and just drive down to Santa Cruz to see him?
When? We have totally opposite schedules.
Relationships are torture.
Like waterboarding with sex.
That's the sort of comment that used to bother me
when I was under the thumb of the brown god.
This long-distance thing is just so frustrating.
I'm not sure Patrick and I can make it work.
For what it's worth, I hope you guys figure it out.
Oh, my God, I just missed his call again!
How, how, how?!
I'll see ya later.
Boy, I do not miss dating, you know what I mean?
Take a sip of your coffee and kiss me.
帕特里克 抱歉没接到你电♥话♥ 又一次
Hey, Patrick, sorry I missed your call, yet again.
I dropped my phone in the fountain in front of the library.
I was making a wish.
Actually, I was wishing you would call me.
Is it ironic?
That's a word I should probably stay away from
until I figure out what it really means.
Anyway, my phone still works, so...
hit me back, as the kids say.
Oh, by the way, this is Christy.
I should've stopped at "Sorry I missed your call."
Don't I know you from that time we slept together?
Sorry, I've been meaning to catch up with you.
Oh, now's your chance. You mind if I sit?
Kind of a bad time; I-I really got to study.
Got it. I won't say a word.
You are the hottest girl in the student center."
It's not me. He has a mind of his own.
"And I cannot get you off of it."
"I am not trying to be funny, I am trying to be sexy.
Hon, hon, hon."
By being lame?
"Oh, that depends.
Is it working, mon petit ketchup packet?"
"That was fantastique."
It worked; knock it off.
Oh, geez, you scared me!
I thought you gave up coffee.
My head is pounding, my colon's in gridlock,
and I winged a butter plate at Adam, so I'm back on the bean.
Yeah, yeah, good for you.
I had sex with Cooper.
I'm sorry, what?
I know. I feel so guilty.
Because I'm seeing someone.
帕特里克吗 拜托 你甚至没和他睡过
Patrick? Oh, come on, you haven't even slept with him.
Believe me, I want to,
but our genitals are never in the same ZIP Code.
And that's not gonna change anytime soon,
so you're free to do whatever you want.
就像在监狱里 结婚无所谓 搞基无所谓
It's like prison. Nobody's married, nobody's gay.
You actually made me feel better.
You act like it's the first--
Ugh, please don't tell Adam.
Why would I tell him you're cheating on his brother?
他会那样想 我不那样想 继续抱
He would see it that way. I don't. Keep hugging.
You never know how much you love something until you give it up.
You realize you're talking to a table full of addicts?
I don't see the connection.
So, Christy, I'm confused.
At your age, it's only gonna get worse.
Are you and Cooper dating again?
No. It was just a one-time thing.
Well, a two-time thing.
I swung by on the way over here.
Oh, look at you having it all.
If you get a bladder infection, I'm gonna be so proud.
So you like this boy.
No, I like Patrick.
I'm just having fun with Cooper.
Be careful, with your bladder and your heart.
Guys do this stuff all the time. Why can't I?
Because you can't be intimate without getting attached.
Just 'cause I'm sober?
No, because you're you.