极品老妈第五季第十一集

Mom S05E11

Part1

2020年1月3日 21:58

《极品老妈》前情提要
Previously on Mom...
去圣克鲁兹只用开3小时12分钟的车
Santa Cruz is only a three hour and 12 minute drive.
你觉得我俩该试试异地恋吗
Do you think we should try the long-distance thing?
我愿意啊
I'm game.
我们是不是以前睡过
Don't I know you from that time we slept together?
时机不太好我真得学习
It's kind of a bad time. I-I really got to study.
这不再是约炮了
This isn't just hooking up anymore.
库珀我只是对你没有同样的感觉
Cooper, look... I just don't have the same feelings for you.
我只是不懂克丽丝蒂
I just don't get it, Christy.
如果有第三者那就是另一回事了
I mean, it would be one thing if there was another guy.
有的
Oh! There is.
绝对有第三者
There's totally another guy.
我大概想和另一个人在一起
I guess I want to be with the other guy.
克丽丝蒂开车去圣克鲁兹见帕特里克了
Wow, Christy's driving down to Santa Cruz to see Patrick.
*我十分激动*
*I'm so excited*
*无法掩饰*
*And I just can't hide it*
*我知道我想要你想要你*
*And I know, I know, I know, I know I know I want you, want you*
时至今日
快点邦妮
Come on, Bonnie!
婚礼三点就开始了
This wedding starts at 3:00.
-你准备好了吗 -很不幸
- You ready? - Unfortunately,
是的
yes.
你看起来
Wow. You look...
我知道嚯嚯嚯绿巨人
I know. "Ho, ho, ho, Green Giant."
你怎么被说服的
How'd you get roped into this?
我犯了个人太好的错
I made the mistake of being nice.
朱迪参加了我们的互助会有次我叫她坚持住
Judy's in our meeting. One time I told her to hang in there.
接着我就成了她的紧急联♥系♥人
Next thing I know, I'm her emergency contact
和伴娘
and a bridesmaid.
等等我为一个你几乎不认识的女人打了领带吗
Wait a minute. I put on a tie for a woman you barely know?
你想换吗
You want to trade?
克丽丝蒂怎么不用去
How did Christy get out of this?
朱迪讨厌她
Judy hates her.
她们有次一起分享了一袋咖啡
They shared the coffee commitment once,
差点打了起来
and it almost led to a fistfight.
愚蠢的玛乔丽劝了架
Stupid Marjorie broke it up.
你看到我的珍珠耳环了吗
Have you seen my pearl earrings?
我这辈子都没注意过耳环
I've never noticed earrings in my entire life.
除了星巴克的咖啡师
Except for the guy at my Starbucks.
他耳朵上有块漂流木
He's got, like, a piece of driftwood in there.
妈妈
Hey, Mom.
你知道我的珍珠耳环在哪里吗
Hi. Do you know where my pearl earrings are?
不知道
No idea.
再说一次那不是珍珠
And again, they're not pearls.
只是白色的塑料珠子
They're just white plastic beads.
现在我没有参加婚礼要戴的耳环了
Yeah, well, now I have no earrings to wear to the wedding.
我看过那条裙子你不需要耳环
I've seen that dress. You don't need earrings.
而是需要头顶撒一圈盐[鸡尾酒]
You need a rim of salt around your head.
你和帕特里克怎么样
How's it going with Patrick?
没怎样我堵车都堵了几个小时了
It's not. I've been stuck in traffic for hours.
快尿在大杯里了
I'm close to peeing in my Big Gulp.
如果你尿了记得从车窗扔出去
If you do, make sure you dump it out the window.
我有过惨痛的经历
I had a bad experience once.
经历过这一切后我只希望我到的时候他在家
After all this, I just hope he's home when I get there.
你没先打电♥话♥吗
You didn't call first?
没有你不会
No! You don't call ahead
在浪漫之举前先打电♥话♥
when you're about to make a big romantic gesture.
你没看过桑德拉·布洛克的电影
Have you never seen a Sandra Bullock movie?
自愿的没看过
Not willingly, no.
你不会在跑去机场拦下飞机前打电♥话♥
You don't call before you run to the airport to stop the plane,
或者敲教堂的窗户
or bang on the church window,
或者回到过去确保父母亲吻
or go back in time to make sure your parents kiss.
你就这样做
You just do it.
妈妈电♥话♥断了吗
Mom? Did I lose you?
该死
Damn it.
如果你还在我听不见
If you're there, I can't hear you.
妈妈
Mom?
我在假装我听不见
I'm pretending I can't hear her.
这能把她逼疯
It drives her crazy.
妈妈
Mom?
妈妈
Mom!
妈妈
Mom?!
妈妈
u202dMom?!
天啊他不在吗
Oh, my God, he isn't here?
天啊我做了什么
Oh, my God, what have I done?
露西好姑娘
Oh, Lucy. Lucy girl.
克丽丝蒂
Christy?
你在干什么呢
Uh... what are you doing?
进行浪漫之举啊
Making a big romantic gesture.
在我的玫瑰花上吗
On my roses?
帕特里克我想跟你在一起
Patrick, I want to be with you.
我也想跟你在一起
Well, I want to be with you, too.
-真好 -这样吧
- Great. - I'll tell you what.
等你完事了就进来
Um, when you're done, come on inside.
我们吃点零食
We'll have a little snack,
一起删除监控视频
and we'll erase the security video together.
我觉得你的狗狗不喜欢我
I don't think your dog likes me.
你在她的地盘上
Well, you are on her spot.
来吧露西
Come on, Lucy.
极品老妈第五季第十一集
你看了这日程安排吗
Have you looked at this schedule?
仪式长达一个半小时
The service is an hour and a half.
是弥撒加参领圣餐 "赐福人们"
It's a full Mass with Communion, a "Blessing of the People."
那是什么
What the hell is that?
这时候我就小声说撒旦万岁
It's when I whisper "Hail, Satan" under my breath.
这会是个折磨
This is gonna be torture.
别紧张我们就在后排亲热好了
Oh, relax. We'll just make out in the back row.
亲爱的你要参加仪式
Sweetheart, you're in the ceremony.
你没去彩排吗
Didn't you go to the rehearsal?
彩排我又不主持《周六夜现场》
Rehearsal? I'm not hosting SNL.
我们结婚时我建议我们在市政厅
Hey, when we finally do this, I say we knock it out
办完事吃点中餐
at City Hall, grab some Chinese,
日落之前就坐上去夏威夷的飞机
and we're on a plane to Hawaii by sundown.
所以我要嫁给你
See, that is why I am marrying you.
总有一天
Some day.
天啊仪式之后
Aw, geez, after the ceremony,
还要开45分钟车去婚宴吗
there's a 45-minute drive to the reception?
最好是免费酒吧
This better be an open bar.
关于这点
Yeah, about that...
这是禁酒婚礼
Hmm, it's a dry wedding.
没酒吗你为什么不告诉我
No alcohol? Why didn't you tell me?
就跟你不告诉婴儿
Same reason you don't tell a baby
他要被割掉包皮的原因一样
he's about to be circumcised.
她总是这样做吗
Does she always do that?
她已经很久没看见
Uh, well, it's been a long time
我亲除了她之外的人了
since she's seen me kissing anyone but her.
我等了好久想跟你做这件事
I have been waiting so long to do this with you.
我说的这件事是指
And by "This" I mean...
不仅如此
more than this.
像是光身子的版本
Like a naked version of this.
听起来很有趣
Ooh, that sounds fun.
-也许不带大眼 -露西
- Maybe without Big Eyes. u202d- Lucy,
房♥子后面有松鼠
squirrel in the back of the house!
其实没有松鼠
There's no squirrels.
我没法往后退了
I can't go back any farther.
我身后有九个抱枕呢
There's, like, nine pillows behind me.
我前妻是个装潢师
Uh, yeah, well, uh, my ex-wife is a decorator,
她很喜欢抱枕
and she's really into throw pillows.
还有艺术家具
And art and furniture.
房♥子里除了我之外的一切东西
Pretty much everything in the house that's not me.
你的意思是你前妻无处不在啊
So, what you're saying is your ex-wife is kind of everywhere.