极品老妈第五季第十一集

Mom S05E11

Part2

2020年1月3日 21:58

是啊我从来没想过这点
Yeah. I never really thought about that.
只是这是我们的第一次
It's just that it's our first time,
我希望是完美的
and I want it to be perfect.
知道吗
You know what?
我现在有个惊喜要告诉你
I got a surprise for you now.
咱俩开个高档酒店房♥间怎么样
How about you and me find a really nice hotel room?
天啊酒店性♥爱♥吗
Oh, my God, hotel sex?
这是最棒的性♥爱♥
That's the best kind of sex there is.
我知道真是美丽的仪式
I know. Such a beautiful service.
很感人
So moving.
婚宴上见
I'll see you at the reception.
天啊简直没完了
Oh, my God, that was endless.
站起坐下
The standing up, the sitting down.
有个人走来走去冲人们喷烟
That guy walking around throwing smoke at people.
如果我得排队领饼干
And if I have to wait in line for a cracker,
他们喷点奶酪上去会死吗
would it kill 'em to spray a little cheese on it?
我不知道我觉得儿童合唱团挺好的
I don't know. I thought the children's choir was kind of nice.
真的吗我还希望
Really? 'Cause I was hoping
更大的合唱团会来揍他们一顿呢
a bigger choir would come and beat 'em up.
拜托他们唱的是意大利的爱情
Come on. They were singing about love in Italian.
他们可能唱的是意大利扁面条
Oh, they could have been singing about linguine.
你又不知道
You don't know.
你的眼睛红了吗
Are your eyes red?
拜托告诉我你没在哭
Please tell me you weren't crying.
没有只是这件事比我以为的
No. Just... the whole thing got to me
更让我感动
a little more than I thought it would.
他们用两支小蜡烛
When they took their two little candles
点燃一支大蜡烛时
and lit the one big candle.
他们现在是那只大蜡烛了
They're the one big candle now.
抱歉我没注意到
Sorry, I didn't notice.
那时候我在努力
At that point, I was trying
用指甲刀剪开塑身内衣
to slice my Spanx open with a nail clipper.
如果我们在婚礼上
Hey, would it be so terrible
也点燃蜡烛这会很糟糕吗
if we did the candle thing at our wedding?
也许我们还能在教堂结婚呢
Maybe we even get married in a church.
等等等等
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
市政厅中餐和夏威夷怎么了
What happened to City Hall, Chinese food, Hawaii?
我不知道也许我们该做更传统的事
I don't know. Maybe we should do something more traditional.
我没有驶入车流的唯一原因
The only reason I am not driving head-on into traffic
就是我不想死的时候穿这条裙子
is I don't want to die in this dress.
你对这房♥间没意见啊
So this room's working for you.
是啊
Oh, yeah.
是你吗
Was that you?
火候未到
Not yet.
天啊爽
Oh, God, yes.
依然不是我
Still not me.
我们似乎有邻居
You know what? I think we've got some neighbors.
我们别管他们好了
u202dWhy don't we try to tune 'em out?
那男人有我没有的工具
Well, that guy has a gear I don't have.
真的很抱歉
I'm really sorry.
不不不我懂
No, no, no, no, no. I get it. I get it.
第二个姑娘声音真大
That second girl got pretty loud.
现在去哪儿
So where to now?
我要带你去我最爱的海滩
Well, I'm gonna take us to my favorite beach.
与世隔绝非常浪漫
It's really secluded and very romantic.
海滩啊
Oh. The beach.
我想你应该更激动
I think you mean, "Oh, the beach!"
不我爱海滩
No, I-I love the beach.
我只是不喜欢海滩上的裸体
I just don't love the beach naked. u202dAh.
女人就和英式松饼一样
Women are kind of like English muffins.
有许多坑坑洼洼
We have a lot of nooks and crannies.
怎么了
What's going on?
克丽丝蒂
Well, Christy, um...
我得问问
I just got to ask.
你是不是改变主意了
Are you having second thoughts about this?
-什么没有 -不不
- What? No. - u202dNo, no, no.
没事如果你感觉不对
It-it's okay, because I-if you're not feeling right about it,
那我们可以等
then we can wait.
不我不想等
No, I don't want to wait.
我只想今晚回顾今晚时
I just want to look back on tonight
感到开心而不是难受
and be like, "Aw," Not "Meh."
没人想难受
Well, nobody's looking for "Meh."
只是如果第一次不好
It's just that if the first time isn't great,
你就会担心第二次不好
then the next time you're worried it won't be good again,
然后脑子里一团乱
and then you're all messed up in your head,
压力非常大
and then the pressure's really on.
我从没那样想过
I never thought of it that way.
但我现在这样想了
But I am now.
知道吗是我在胡想
You know what? I'm being ridiculous.
肯定会是完美的
Of course it's gonna be perfect,
因为是你和我
because it's you and me.
是的
Yeah.
你猜怎么着
You know what?
我们此时此刻在这里做吧
Let's do it right here, right now.
你让我在接下来的六分钟里
Ha. Well, you're-you're-you're putting a lot of pressure
压力很大
on the next six minutes.
我们去后面开派对吧
Let's take this party to the back.
在后面我一个人开不了派对
You got to be back here for the party.
是的我知道性♥爱♥是怎么回事
Yes, I know how sex works.
你还好吧
Are you all right?
我本来没事直到你说了那些话
Well, I was until you started talking about all that stuff.
怎么可能完美呢
How can it be perfect?
我从不完美
I've never been perfect.
我只擅长尽力而为
I've been very good at best.
没关系帕特里克
It's okay, Patrick.
有关系有关系
No, it's not okay. It's not.
我喘不上气了
I-I-I can't breathe.
我需要点空气
I-I need some air.
我改主意了
I changed my mind!
难受我也完全接受
I'd be perfectly happy with "Meh."
你感觉如何帕特里克
How you feeling, Patrick?
挺尴尬的克丽丝蒂
Ah, pretty embarrassed, Christy.
我能去看看你吗
Can I come over and visit?
好的
Okay.
都怪我
This is my fault.
-我把今晚小题大做了 -不
- I made tonight into a way bigger deal than it needed to be. - u202dNo.
不怪你不怪你
I-It's not you. It's not you.
我结了三十年婚
Look, I was married for 30 years
最后五年我们没碰过对方
and the last five, we didn't touch each other.
那些关于完美的话
And all that talk about being perfect
引发了网络医生所说的
triggered what WebMD diagnosed
轻度至中度恐慌发作
as a mild-to-moderate panic attack.
这不性感
That's not sexy.
我觉得你很性感
I think you're very sexy.
那么你依然对一个只和一个半女人做过的
So, you're still interested in a middle-aged neurotic
中年神经过敏者感兴趣吗
with only one-and-a-half notches on his belt?
非常感兴趣
Very interested.
这样如何
How 'bout this?
我们回你家睡觉
We go back to your place, go to sleep--
我是说真睡
and I mean actual sleep--
明早重新来过
and start fresh in the morning.
我喜欢这主意
I love that idea.
我有点好奇
So I'm curious.
什么叫半个女人
What counts as half a notch?
我坚持我的立场
I'm holding firm on my stance.
你不该拿走那个
You're not supposed to take that.
他们没有中心装饰品了
They ran out of centerpieces.
而且我需要东西来减轻
And I deserve a takeaway
这条裙子带来的痛苦和折磨
for the pain and suffering of this dress.
我相当确定那是酒店财产
Pretty sure that's hotel property.