不 他们想让你拿走的
No, they expect you to take 'em.
就像浴巾和电视
It's like robes and televisions.
那个婚宴很棒吧
How amazing was that reception?
有什么棒的
What was so great about it?
你没看到礼物堆成山吗
Did you not see the mountain of gifts?
他们洗劫了陶瓷谷仓
They wiped out Pottery Barn.
现在只是个谷仓了
Now it's just a barn.
你真认为他们需要那些垃圾吗
You really think they need all that junk?
当然不需要 他们明天会去那家店
Of course not. They're at the store tomorrow,
把礼物全换成冰冷冷的钞票
returning all that stuff for cold, hard cash.
那个美元舞怎么样
And how 'bout the dollar dance?
你把钱别新娘身上 然后和她跳舞
You pin money on the bride to dance with her?
哪个天才想到的这点子
What genius came up with that idea?
可能是第一个结婚的脱衣舞♥女♥吧
Probably the first stripper to get married.
我肯定要在我们的婚礼上那样做
Well, I am definitely doing that at our wedding.
而且我会赚更多钱
And I'll make more money,
因为我身上别钱的区域有六英尺
because I've six feet of pinnable area.
你真厉害
You're incredible.
你知道我们还能做什么吗
You know what else we could do?
企业赞助商
Corporate sponsors.
邦妮 你愿意让亚当成为你的丈夫吗
"Do you, Bonnie, take Adam to be your husband?"
我愿意 特别是在开着泛士通轮胎
"I sure do, especially after driving here
来这里以后
on Firestone tires."
亲爱的 我们可以用婚礼赚大钱
Honey, our wedding could be a real cash cow.
我告诉了你这个美丽的仪式多么令我感动
I tell you how moved I was by this beautiful ceremony,
你嗤之以鼻
and you crap all over it.
然后你看到了一堆烤箱
And then you see a pile of toaster ovens
和一个屁♥股♥上贴着20美元的女人
and a woman with 20s taped to her ass,
你就喜欢得不得了
and you can't get enough.
所以关于喜欢的婚礼类型
Oh, so you're allowed to change your mind
你能改变主意 而我不能
about what kind of wedding you want, but I'm not?
这不仅仅是婚礼 邦妮
No, it's bigger than our wedding, Bonnie.
这是我们在人生中的需求
It's about what we want in life.
我需要一个不是天主教乖乖女的未婚夫
I want a fiancé who's not a Catholic schoolgirl.
早上好
Good morning.
露西 下去
Lucy, off.
不不不 没事
Oh. No, no, no, no, no. It's-it's okay.
有事 她压住小弟了
No, it's not okay. She's on the boys.
露西 下去 快点
Lucy, off. Come on. Come on.
好孩子
Attagirl.
舒服了
Phew. Hey. u202d
你睡得如何
How'd you sleep?
很好 你呢
Great. You?
非常好
Excellent.
我想我们恋爱的这部分没问题了
I think we got this part of the relationship down.
-是的 我们搞定了睡觉 -好的
- Yes, we have nailed sleeping. - u202dAll right.
你猜怎么着
Well, you know what?
那就定了
That settles it then.
我们以后是那种睡一间房♥
We'll be one of those weird couples who sleeps
但从不做♥爱♥的怪夫妇
in the same room and never has sex. u202d
就像伯特和厄尼
Like Bert and Ernie.
他俩肯定有基情
Oh, those guys are totally doing it.
也许我们也该激♥情♥一下
Well, then, maybe we should.
天啊 我很高兴我们没有放弃彼此
Oh, boy, I'm so glad we didn't give up on this.
我也是
Me, too.
异地恋
I mean, the-the long-distance thing
对于有些人会很难 知道吗
could have been a lot for other people, you know?
我们说不定会去和别人约会
I mean, we could've just started seeing someone else.
我很高兴我们没那样做
I'm really happy we didn't.
没那样做吧
We didn't, right?
这个嘛
Well...
你为什么要在
Why on Earth would you tell Patrick
和帕特里克睡之前
you slept with another guy
告诉帕特里克你和别人睡了
right before you were about to sleep with Patrick?
就是聊到的
It just came up.
-怎么会 -我提到的
- How? - I brought it up.
冷意面
Cold SpaghettiOs?
代表着自我厌恶
That says self-loathing.
是的 我在用刮伤你嘴唇的勺子
Yeah, and I'm using the spoon that snags your lip.
我活该
I deserve that.
你为什么告诉他
So why did you tell him?
我不想带着谎言开始一段感情
I didn't want to start the relationship off with a lie.
这没事 但你要先让他们爽上天
That's fine, but you got to bang their brains out first.
然后再说实话
Then you can be honest.
我经常这样套路亚当
I do it with Adam all the time.
这是我们做♥爱♥的主要原因
It's the main reason we have sex.
才不是
Oh, it is not.
你和亚当非常幸福
You and Adam are great together.
我愿意付出一切成为你们那样
I'd give anything for what you have.
不是今天这样 我们大吵了一架
Not today. We had a huge fight.
突然之间他想要一个传统的教堂婚礼
All of a sudden he wants a traditional church wedding.
他不知道你穿着白衣走进教堂
Doesn't he know that if you walk into a church wearing white,
浑身会起火吗
you'll burst into flames?
谢谢
Thank you.
妈妈 亚当
Mom? Adam?
你们正在哪里做♥爱♥吗
Are you somewhere in here having sex?
我希望不是
Boy, I hope not.
帕特里克
Patrick.
这是为我准备的吗
This is for me?
你不是唯一一个
Well, you're not the only one
会做浪漫之举的人
who can make a big romantic gesture.
抱歉 放错歌♥了
Sorry, uh, wrong song!
这是我的健身曲
I-I work out to that.
好的
Okay.
本该是席尔的歌♥
That's supposed to be Seal.
抱歉
And, uh, oh, sorry.
我找不到了
Oh, I-I-I can't find it.
想象一下
Uh, look, j-just try to imagine
背景音乐是《玫瑰之吻》
"Kiss From a Rose" Playing in the back...
我喜欢你做的这些
I love that you did all this.
很抱歉我反应过度了
I'm-I'm so sorry I overreacted.
你要想说谎很简单 我永远都不会知道
You easily could have lied and I never would have known.
我原谅你 卧室在这边
u202dI forgive you. Bedroom's this way.
-该死 -怎么了
- Oh, damn it. u202d- What?
我忘带安全套了
I forgot condoms.
我多得很
Oh, I got a ton of 'em.
别多想
Don't think about it.
上来吧
Just get up here.
感谢你前来
Thanks for coming over.
我不喜欢前两天闹成那样
I don't like the way we left things the other day.
邦妮
Wow, Bonnie.
你不用这样做
You didn't have to do all this.
不 我
Oh, no, I...
是的 我用
Yes, yes, I did.
我当然用了
I absolutely did.
因为我爱你
Because I love you.
我也爱你
I love you, too. Mmm.
听着 我不想因为婚礼的事吵架
Look, I don't want to fight about wedding stuff.
我也不想 这事以后再说吧
I don't either. Let's just kick the can down the road.
我想过了 我们为什么不
Or, I've been thinking, why don't we throw out
以后再也不说了
the can altogether?
什么意思
What does that mean?
我们保持现状
Let's just keep things the way they are
永远订婚
and stay engaged forever.
但我想嫁给你
But I want to marry you.
我六个月前问过你 你不想定时间
Well, I asked you six months ago and you won't set a date.
显然 你不想成为大蜡烛
You know, clearly, you don't want to be the big candle.
我想 我想成为大蜡烛
I do. I do want to be the big candle.
我们还是保持现状吧
Let's just be happy with what we have.
不
No.