吃三明治
Eating a sandwich.
然后去吃晚餐时 我只用点咖啡
Then when we go out to dinner, I'll just order coffee,
然后人们会可怜我 给我买♥♥布丁
and people will feel bad for me and buy me pudding.
天啊 等等
Oh, my God, hold on.
拜托告诉我 我们赢得了出版商大清♥仓♥[一种彩票]
Mm. Please tell me we won Publishers Clearing House.
现实点 妈妈 有纱门的人才能赢
Get real, Mom. You have to have a screen door to win that thing.
斯坦福法学院
Stanford Law School.
快打开
Mm! Open it!
我害怕
I'm scared.
我知道机会渺茫 但我内心深处
I know it's a long shot, but there's still that part of me
仍然觉得我有机会
that thinks that maybe there's a chance.
我也是
Oh, I have that little part, too.
就像我觉得有一天
It's like how I think that one day
我也许会赢得奥♥运♥会金牌
I might win an Olympic gold medal.
简单的那种项目 比如无舵雪橇
You know, something easy like luge.
上面写什么
What's it say?
他们遗憾地通知我
They "Regret to inform" Me.
然后呢
What?
妈妈 他们不会遗憾地通知你
Mom, they don't regret to inform you
你的梦想会实现
that your dreams are coming true.
亲爱的 很遗憾
Oh. Honey, I'm sorry.
我知道机会不大
I knew the numbers weren't in my favor,
但我的个人陈述写得很悲惨
but my personal essay was so sad
我以为我能让他们内疚到录取我
I thought I might just be able to guilt them into it.
提到我了吗
My name come up?
不提希♥特♥勒♥没法写二战
You can't write about World War Two without bringing up Hitler.
没事
It's okay.
我还申请了别的学校
I've got other applications out there,
最差也有北谷法学院垫底
and worst case, there's always North Valley Law School.
加油 蜈蚣队
Go, Centipedes.
我依然能当律师 这是最重要的
And I'll still be a lawyer, which is all that matters.
我只用把文凭挂在车♥库♥里
I'll just hang my diploma in the garage.
-我们没有车♥库♥ -我们没有车♥库♥
- We don't have a garage. - We don't have a garage,
-我们没有纱门 我们有什么 -彼此
- we don't have a screen door; what do we have? - u202dEach other.
我都摔倒了你还要踢一脚
Way to kick me when I'm down.
你们想去哪吃
So, where do you guys want to eat?
我想再去克丽丝蒂那家一次
I'm willing to give Christy's place another shot
现在我知道怎么点餐了
now that I know how it works.
我上网找到了一个论♥坛♥
I went online and found a forum.
你疯了吗 我得拿自己的餐盘
Are you out of your mind? I had to bus my own tray.
自己的餐盘 餐盘
My own tray. Tray!
我喜欢辣肉酱
I liked the chili.
让人吃得安心 就像妈妈从没做过的味道
It was comforting, just like Mom never made.
在周一 他们有玉米面包
On Monday, they throw in corn bread,
但只有问才有
but you have to know to ask.
玛乔丽 你怎么看
Marjorie, what'd you think?
我感谢克丽丝蒂
Oh, um, I appreciate the fact
为我们的世界开辟了新的大♥陆♥
that Christy brought a new idea into our world.
翻译过来是 臭不可闻
Mm-hmm. Translation: P.U.
你猜怎么着 你给我们出了难题
Hey, you know what? You threw us a curveball,
克丽丝蒂尽最大能力找到了妥协方案
and Christy did her best to find a compromise.
是不是完全失败 是的
Was it an epic fail? Yes.
我们以后对她的建议会不会长点心
Are we gonna be less open to her suggestions in the future?
当然会 但她努力了
Absolutely, but she tried.
我现在想吃咖啡馆的科布色拉
Well, I'm really in the mood for a Cobb salad from the bistro,
伴以火腿 奶酪 熏肉 鸡蛋 香醋
hold the ham, cheese, bacon, egg, balsamic on the side.
我们去吃吧 我给邦妮和克丽丝蒂买♥♥单
Why don't we do that, and I'll pay for Bonnie and Christy?
不不不 我们不需要施舍
No, no, no, we're not looking for charity.
真是新闻
Well, that's new.
什么
What?
我付钱时没见你烦恼过啊
Never bothered you when I was paying.
我们没要你买♥♥单 是你自己主动买♥♥的
Hey, we never asked you to pay; you just started doing it.
我主动买♥♥是因为如果我不买♥♥
I started doing it because the check would sit on the table
单子会在桌上放一个小时
for an hour if I didn't.
但我现在受够了你们占我便宜
But now I'm done with you all taking advantage of me.
别自恋了
Hey, get over yourself.
你就给我买♥♥了几个三明治
You bought me a couple of sandwiches,
可不是林肯城市豪车
not a Lincoln Town Car.
抱歉我的个人成长对你没好处
Oh, I'm sorry my personal growth doesn't work for you.
如果我有六万五闲钱
Hey, if I had a spare 65 grand laying around,
我也会去水疗中心买♥♥成长
I'd fly to a spa and buy some growth, too.
也许我们该深呼吸 冷静冷静
Maybe we ought to just take a moment and breathe.
别插嘴 老太婆
Hey, stand down, Grey Gardens.
如果吉尔想成长 我们该告诉她真♥相♥
If Jill wants to grow, we should tell her the truth.
跟你说个真♥相♥
Well, here's some truth.
我只比你大七岁
I'm only seven years older than you.
显然那是艰苦的七年
Seven hard years, apparently.
我不喜欢我们都吵架
I don't like it when we all fight.
现在不是时候 温蒂
Not now, Wendy.
你才不是时候
You not now!
我不去咖啡馆了
You know what? I'm skipping the bistro.
我有更好的事情可做
I got better things to do than
而不是看着克丽丝蒂抱怨法学院
watch Christy yammering on about law school,
温蒂无缘无故地哭 玛乔丽提出超烂的建议
Wendy crying for no reason, Marjorie and her lame advice,
邦妮试图跟她的布丁做♥爱♥
and Bonnie trying to have sex with her pudding.
我就直说了
Well, I'm just gonna say it.
她胖的时候人好多了
She was nicer when she was fat.
你知道还有什么让我生气吗
You know what else pisses me off?
我在看《大白鲨》
Watching Jaws here.
吉尔就证明了钱被浪费在错误的人身上
Jill is proof that money is wasted on the wrong people.
瞧 没穿上衣的女孩在蹚水玩耍
Look, topless girl wading in the water.
可能发生什么呢
Uh-oh, what could happen?
我不信这部电影
I just don't buy this movie.
警♥察♥局长居然有海景房♥
The chief of police has that kind of waterfront property?
那是70年代
It was the '70s.
房♥地♥产♥市场完全不同
It was a totally different real estate market.
知道吗 你毁了这部电影
You know what? You're ruining it.
我跟你说 如果吉尔管那座城市
I'll tell you what, if Jill was in charge of that town,
她会背着他卖♥♥掉那房♥子
she would've sold that house right out from under him,
因为有钱人就这样
'cause that's what the rich do.
他们毁掉我这样努力的小人物
They screw the hardworking little guy like me.
你既不努力 也不是小人物
You're neither one of those.
真是太不公平了
It's just the injustice of it.
你怎么觉得
What do you think?
我吗 我觉得
Me? I think this is something
你和姑娘们聊这事会聊得很开心
that you and the gals would have a lot of fun talking about.
我四天没和她们说话了
I haven't talked to them in four days,
我一点也不想她们
and I don't miss them at all.
你唯一的其它选择就是放松 跟我看《大白鲨》
Well, your only other option is to relax and watch Jaws with me.
行吧 真好
Sure. Fine. Great.
跳跃鲨鱼[剧情走下坡路]就是从这里起源的吗
Is this where they came up with "Jump the shark"?
因为这太烂了
'Cause this is awful.
北谷法学院
Ah, North Valley School of Law.
我们接受对方的时候到了
The time has come for us to settle for each other.
我可爱的未婚夫向我建议
It's been suggested to me by my loving fiance
"刻薄愤怒的我"最好去参加互助会
that I might like to get my "Bitter, angry ass" to a meeting.
想来吗
Care to join?
不了 我还要忙
No, I got work to do.
好吧 提醒一下
Okay. Just a heads up,
他在看《大白鲨》 好像那是《动物园看守》一样
he's in there watching Jaws like it's Zookeeper.
至少那部电影里动物会说话
At least in that one the animals talk.
在看《大白鲨》
Watching Jaws.
我听说了
I heard.
你没事吧
You okay?
我不想打扰你 你在看电影
I don't want to bother you; you're watching your movie.
我能暂停 但别告诉你妈妈
I can pause it. But don't tell your mom.
我不会为她暂停的
I wouldn't do it for her.
怎么了
So what's up?
我没上法学院
I didn't get into law school.
哪一所
Which one?