You got to be kidding.
- What? - It's 4:30.
- Don't you have class? - Why bother?
The world doesn't need another college-educated waitress.
"Let me tell you today's specials
and the difference between Emily and Charlotte Bronte."
Are those your teachers?
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
All of my eggs were in this law school basket,
and I just dropped the basket.
And that's why you don't put all your eggs in one basket.
I just got that.
Maybe I need a Miranda.
Hey, I'm your Miranda.
Now snap out of it!
Oh, look, there's that meatball I dropped last night.
Jill, you want to put away your Elf on the Shelf
and help me clean up here?
I'll have Santa put you on the naughty list.
I'll be right there.
Talk to me, honey.
It's the damn cookie table.
It's my turn to clean it, but I'm afraid I'm gonna
unhinge my jaw and clean it with my mouth.
Jill, do you know why I started riding a motorcycle?
Because I used to be afraid of them, but I'm not anymore.
- I need to face my fears. u202d- Come on.
- Let's do it together. - Okay.
Oh, good God, where'd those brownies come from?
放松 吉尔 是玛乔丽做的
Relax, Jill. Marjorie made them.
Hockey pucks with nuts.
Just because things aren't working out the way you want
doesn't mean they aren't working out.
You just got to have faith.
I do. I believe with all my heart
that my life is gonna suck forever.
Hey, are you sober today?
Then you're a winner.
See, you need to look for small victories.
Did you make your bed this morning?
I threw the bedspread over the mess.
I'm gonna put that in the win column.
I'm sorry, I couldn't help overhearing,
but you making your bed is not a win.
You need to aim higher.
Thank you, Miranda,
but I've been helping people work this program for 37 years.
I think I know what I'm talking about.
Oh, I know I'm just a guest here,
but I have a teeny-tiny issue with the first step of A.A.
Admit you're powerless?
Why do you have to admit you're powerless?
Because when it comes to alcohol, we are powerless,
and we need to remember that.
It's just that I've known y'all for a few days,
and I don't see any powerless women.
That's 'cause we're not drunk.
Don't hide behind your humor.
Then I got nothing.
All due respect,
I'm less interested in, um-- what do you call it?--
your higher power,
and more interested in your inner power.
That's the answer to your problems.
All due respect, you're talking out your ass.
See, now that's powerful.
Christy, what's stopping you from reaching your goals
is all that bad energy in your life.
I can help you get rid of it.
If you're gonna take out my mom, use poison.
She'll see any other weapons coming.
All I'm saying is you need to get rid of
all that negativity out of your system.
If you want, I could give you an energy cleanse.
You'll have a whole new you.
No offense, but I don't really think
any of that stuff works.
Bonnie, I said put the coffee urn away!
When do we start?
I am so glad you see what Miranda has to offer.
You are gonna love this.
I hope so. I've never had my energy cleansed before.
It's probably pretty crusty.
Only she does that.
Are you ready to go on a little journey to you?
Okay, I'm gonna see you on the other side.
The other side?
All right, sweetie, I want you to lie down.
Close your eyes.
Free your mind.
Imagine yourself floating in a deep, warm river.
Sorry, I was clearing my pathway.
Okay, but you really should warn a person.
I'm going to go into a little bit of a trance.
I don't know what's going to happen
because every experience is unique.
I'll be processing your energy,
and I may or may not have visions along the way.
Permission to enter your energy space?
I'm gonna need a verbal "Yes."
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Uh, what was that?
Uh, that's a huge clump of bad energy.
I'm going to throw it away.
Let me guess, that was my childhood.
我认真的 24小时后 我依然感觉很嗨
I'm serious. 24 hours later, I still feel like I'm high.
Clean energy is incredible.
Settle down, Al Gore.
That's so nice that you're working with Miranda, too.
After she got rid of Christy's negative energy,
my living room smelled like sulfur.
I don't know what she did, but I am a different person now.
- A better person. - If only.
I don't think Miranda made you a better person.
I'm guessing the program had a lot more to do with it.
Oh, sure, sure, sure.
But I hit a wall, and Miranda's helping me break through.
Okay. Just one last thing I'm gonna say.
Again, if only.
Just want to remind you there are no quick fixes.
我不知道 这挺快的 我感觉解决了问题