You got to be kidding.
-怎么了 -现在是4点半
- What? - It's 4:30.
-你不是有课吗 -何必上呢
- Don't you have class? - Why bother?
这世界不缺我一个大学毕业的服务生
The world doesn't need another college-educated waitress.
让我告诉你今日特餐
"Let me tell you today's specials
以及艾米莉和夏洛特·勃朗特之间的区别
and the difference between Emily and Charlotte Bronte."
她们是你老师吗
Are those your teachers?
是的
Yes.
我不知道该做什么
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
我把鸡蛋都放在法学院的篮子里了
All of my eggs were in this law school basket,
我刚掉了篮子
and I just dropped the basket.
所以不能把鸡蛋放在一个篮子里
And that's why you don't put all your eggs in one basket.
我才想明白
I just got that.
或许我需要一个米兰达
Maybe I need a Miranda.
我就是你的米兰达
Hey, I'm your Miranda.
别丧了
Now snap out of it!
看 我找到昨晚掉的肉丸了
Oh, look, there's that meatball I dropped last night.
吉尔 别玩书架上的小精灵了
Jill, you want to put away your Elf on the Shelf
过来帮我清理
and help me clean up here?
当心 邦妮
Careful, Bonnie.
我会让圣诞老人把你放在淘气名单里的
I'll have Santa put you on the naughty list.
马上就来
I'll be right there.
跟我说说 亲爱的
Talk to me, honey.
是那个该死的饼干桌
It's the damn cookie table.
轮到我打扫了 我怕我会
It's my turn to clean it, but I'm afraid I'm gonna
张开下巴 用嘴清理
unhinge my jaw and clean it with my mouth.
吉尔 你知道我为什么开始骑摩托吗
Jill, do you know why I started riding a motorcycle?
因为我以前怕摩托 但我现在不怕了
Because I used to be afraid of them, but I'm not anymore.
你说得对
You're right.
-我要直面我的恐惧 -来吧
- I need to face my fears. u202d- Come on.
-我们一起清理 -好
- Let's do it together. - Okay.
老天 这些布朗尼蛋糕是哪来的
Oh, good God, where'd those brownies come from?
放松 吉尔 是玛乔丽做的
Relax, Jill. Marjorie made them.
冰球加坚果
Hockey pucks with nuts.
事情没有像你想的一样进展
Just because things aren't working out the way you want
不代表事情就没有进展
doesn't mean they aren't working out.
你必须有信念
You just got to have faith.
我有信念 我全心全意地相信
I do. I believe with all my heart
我会衰一辈子
that my life is gonna suck forever.
你今天坚持戒瘾了吗
Hey, are you sober today?
那你就是赢家
Then you're a winner.
你应该珍视每个小胜利
See, you need to look for small victories.
今早是你自己铺的床吗
Did you make your bed this morning?
我把床单丢在了床垫上
I threw the bedspread over the mess.
我会把这也算成胜利
I'm gonna put that in the win column.
抱歉 我不小心偷听了
I'm sorry, I couldn't help overhearing,
但自己铺床不算胜利
but you making your bed is not a win.
你得定高目标
You need to aim higher.
谢谢 米兰达
Thank you, Miranda,
但我已经监督人们戒瘾37年了
but I've been helping people work this program for 37 years.
我知道我在说什么
I think I know what I'm talking about.
我知道我只是个客人
Oh, I know I'm just a guest here,
但是我对互助会的第一步有点小意见
but I have a teeny-tiny issue with the first step of A.A.
承认自己无能为力
Admit you're powerless?
为什么要承认自己无能为力
Why do you have to admit you're powerless?
因为在酒精上 我们无能为力
Because when it comes to alcohol, we are powerless,
我们要牢记这点
and we need to remember that.
我认识你们好几天了
It's just that I've known y'all for a few days,
我没看到无力的女性
and I don't see any powerless women.
那是因为我们没醉
That's 'cause we're not drunk.
别躲在你的幽默后
Don't hide behind your humor.
那我一无所有
Then I got nothing.
无意冒犯
All due respect,
我对 你们怎么叫来着
I'm less interested in, um-- what do you call it?--
更高力量的兴趣
your higher power,
没有对内在力量的兴趣大
and more interested in your inner power.
那才是你问题的答案
That's the answer to your problems.
无意冒犯 你说的是屁话
All due respect, you're talking out your ass.
看 那才是力量
See, now that's powerful.
克丽丝蒂 阻止你实现目标的
Christy, what's stopping you from reaching your goals
是你生活中的负能量
is all that bad energy in your life.
我能帮你摆脱
I can help you get rid of it.
如果你要干掉我妈妈 用下毒的法子
If you're gonna take out my mom, use poison.
其它武器她都能看见
She'll see any other weapons coming.
我的意思就是
All I'm saying is you need to get rid of
你得把负能量排出体外
all that negativity out of your system.
如果你愿意 我可以帮你净化能量
If you want, I could give you an energy cleanse.
你会成为全新的你
You'll have a whole new you.
无意冒犯 但我觉得
No offense, but I don't really think
那些玩意儿都没用
any of that stuff works.
邦妮 我说了把咖啡壶拿开
Bonnie, I said put the coffee urn away!
好吧 抱歉
Okay, sorry.
我们什么时候开始
When do we start?
很高兴你看到了米兰达的能力
I am so glad you see what Miranda has to offer.
你会喜欢的
You are gonna love this.
希望如此 我之前从未净化过能量
I hope so. I've never had my energy cleansed before.
也许挺暴躁的
It's probably pretty crusty.
好啊
Hello!
好啊
Hello.
只有她那样做
Only she does that.
抱歉
Sorry.
你准备好进入你的旅程了吗
Are you ready to go on a little journey to you?
我想是的
I guess.
好 另一边见
Okay, I'm gonna see you on the other side.
另一边
The other side?
厨房♥
The kitchen.
亲爱的 你来躺下
All right, sweetie, I want you to lie down.
闭上眼睛
Close your eyes.
放松心灵
Free your mind.
想象自己漂浮在深深的温暖的河中
Imagine yourself floating in a deep, warm river.
抱歉 我在清理我的路径
Sorry, I was clearing my pathway.
好 但你该提醒我的
Okay, but you really should warn a person.
我要陷入了恍惚状态了
I'm going to go into a little bit of a trance.
我不知道会发生什么
I don't know what's going to happen
因为每段体验都是独特的
because every experience is unique.
我要处理你的能量
I'll be processing your energy,
途中我也许能看见幻象 也许没有
and I may or may not have visions along the way.
我们会看到的
We'll see.
允许进入你的能量空间吗
Permission to enter your energy space?
我需要你回答"允许"
I'm gonna need a verbal "Yes."
允许
Yes.
那是什么
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Uh, what was that?
一大块负能量
Uh, that's a huge clump of bad energy.
我要扔掉它
I'm going to throw it away.
让我猜猜 那是我的童年
Let me guess, that was my childhood.
我认真的 24小时后 我依然感觉很嗨
I'm serious. 24 hours later, I still feel like I'm high.
净化能量太棒了
Clean energy is incredible.
冷静点 阿尔·戈尔[美国前副总统]
Settle down, Al Gore.
你也接受了米兰达的疗法 那真是太棒了
That's so nice that you're working with Miranda, too.
她扔掉克丽丝蒂的负能量后
After she got rid of Christy's negative energy,
我的客厅一股硫磺味
my living room smelled like sulfur.
我不知道她做了什么 但我现在完全不同了
I don't know what she did, but I am a different person now.
-焕然一新了 -要是这样就好了
- A better person. - If only.
我觉得不是米兰达让你焕然一新的
I don't think Miranda made you a better person.
我认为出了更大力的是戒瘾会
I'm guessing the program had a lot more to do with it.
是啊 是啊
Oh, sure, sure, sure.
但我遇到了障碍 米兰达帮我突破了
But I hit a wall, and Miranda's helping me break through.
好 我打算说最后一句
Okay. Just one last thing I'm gonna say.
要是这样就好了
Again, if only.
我想提醒你 没有捷径可走
Just want to remind you there are no quick fixes.
我不知道 这挺快的 我感觉解决了问题