极品老妈第五季第十四集

Mom S05E14

Part3

2020年1月3日 21:58

I don't know. This was pretty quick and I feel pretty fixed.
米兰达告诉我我有无限能量
Miranda told me I have limitless power.
所以现在我要重新追求上法学院的梦想
And so now I am recommitting to my dream of going to law school.
怎么做
How?
抱歉
Sorry.
我要去找招生办的人
I'm gonna go see the admissions people,
劝他们改变主意
and I'm gonna change their minds.
我也建议你去跟进
I believe I also suggested you do some follow-up,
但也许你需要一个尖叫的声音告诉你
but maybe you needed to hear it in a squeaky voice.
我只想说
All I can say is
净化是我花得最值得的五百块
that cleanse was the best 500 bucks I've ever spent.
什么
What?
你才没有那么多钱浪费
You don't have that kind of money to throw around.
如果你有你藏在哪儿了
And if you do, where have you been hiding it?
信♥用♥卡♥里
I put it on my credit card.
你没有信♥用♥卡♥
You don't have a credit card.
如果有你藏在哪儿了
And if you do, where have you been hiding it?
米兰达说她很乐意免费
Miranda said she'd love to do it for free,
但宇宙需要知道有人做出了牺牲
but the universe needs to know a sacrifice has been made.
你信了吗你什么时候成了个傻子
And you bought that? When did you become a boob?
那我成什么了
Hey, what's that say about me?
你有资本当傻子
Well, you can afford to be a boob.
帮我说句话吵闹鬼
Back me up here, loudmouth.
邦妮说得对
Bonnie's right.
南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛
Namo amitabha, namo amitabha, namo amitabha.
好啊邦妮
Hello, Bonnie.
你怎么知道是我
How did you know it was me?
温度改变了能量变化了
The temperature changed, the energy shifted,
你的车在车道回火了
and your car backfired in the driveway.
-你找吉尔吗 -我找你
- Were you looking for Jill? - Looking for you.
吉尔的肉毒杆菌基金让你分了一杯羹我不在乎
Look, I don't care if you're dipping into Jill's Botox fund,
但你开始拿我勉强维持生计的
but when you start taking money from my daughter,
女儿的钱时我就会找上门来
who's barely scraping by, that's when you hear from me.
邦妮谁伤害了你
Oh, Bonnie, who hurt you?
想都别想
Don't even try.
不说真的我想知道
No, seriously, I want to know.
我得告诉你我很尊重
And I got to tell you, I respect the fact
你在保护你女儿这一事实
that you're protecting your daughter,
因为我感觉到你妈妈没有保护你
because I sense you were not protected by your mother.
谁跟你说的吉尔吗
Well, who told you that? Jill?
你刚才的眼神已经说明了
You did, just now, with your eyes.
这是什么骗局啊
What kind of carny hustle is this?
接下来你要猜我的胆固醇了吗
What, are you gonna guess my cholesterol next?
你的胆固醇太高了不能开玩笑
It's too high to joke about.
听着你也许不信我的工作
Look, you may not believe in what I do,
但这并不能改变我关心你的事实
but that doesn't change the fact that I care about you.
你都不了解我为什么要关心我
You don't even know me. Why would you care about me?
正是你很难相信
Exactly. You have a hard time believing
别人可以关心你因为你被抛弃了
someone can care about you because you were abandoned.
我是来聊克丽丝蒂的事的
Uh, I'm here to talk about Christy.
你妈妈离开了你这又不是你的错
And it's not your fault your mother left you.
你只是个婴儿
You were just a baby.
婴儿是纯洁的完美的
Babies are pure, they're perfect.
你闭嘴
You... sh-shut up!
你内心有个完美的婴儿
Oh. There is a perfect baby inside of you.
我不会信你的
I am not falling for this.
邦妮婴儿
Baby Bonnie!
天啊你一股饼干味儿
Oh, God, you-you smell like cookies.
来躺下让我带走你的痛苦
Come, lie down. Let me take away your pain.
-我不确定 -我请客
- I'm not sure I... - On the house.
脸朝上还是朝下
Face up or face down?
只是问问已经过了几小时了
Just checking in. It's been a couple hours.
招生办主任可能见我吗
Any chance the admissions director is gonna see me?
我之前跟你说了你该预约的
I told you before, you should've made an appointment.
一般情况下我会的但我最近注意到
Normally I would've, but it was recently brought to my attention
我有无限能量
that I have limitless power.
你没有
You don't.
爱丽丝我忘了弗兰克的生日
Alice, I blanked on Frank's birthday.
给我预订今晚的高档餐厅
Get me a reservation somewhere fantastic tonight.
当然没问题
Of course, no problem.
我完蛋了
I'm screwed.
五点
5:00.
市里的所有餐厅都会没空位
Every restaurant in town's gonna be full.
谢谢
Thanks.
你知道乡村无花果餐厅吗
Are you familiar with the Rustic Fig?
是啊但他们提前一个月就订满了
Yeah, but they're booked a month in advance.
除非你认识一个有无限能量的
Unless you know someone who has the limitless power
服务员
of a waitress.
我怎么啦
What is happening to me?!
我帮你打开了心门
I opened you up.
快把我关上
Well, snap me shut!
你会没事的
You'll be okay.
只是36小时内不要做
I just wouldn't make any important life decisions
重大的人生决定
for, say, 36 hours,
还有避免操作任何重型设备
and I would avoid operating any heavy equipment.
但如果我得开反铲挖土机呢
But what if I have to drive a backhoe?
很好你已经想干一番大事了
Good, you're already thinking big.
米兰达我做到了
u202dMiranda, I did it!
我烤了一批饼干只吃了半个
I baked a batch of cookies and only ate half of one!
重大突破
Breakthrough!
等等我
Wait for me!
我有超棒的消息
I have amazing news.
我也是
Me, too.
出什么事了
What happened?
米兰达好好地"插入"了我
Miranda fracked me pretty good.
她很棒吧
Isn't she incredible?
是啊你的消息是什么
She is. What's your news?
我去见了招生负责人说了我的事
I went to see the head of admissions, stated my case,
她告诉我我在最后的名单上
and she told me I was on the bubble.
他们差点招了我
They almost accepted me.
如果我把LSAT的分数提高一点
If I bump my LSAT scores up a notch,
她明年会给我找所法学院
she'll find a place for me next year.
宝贝女儿
Oh, baby!
再说一次LSAT是什么意思
Tell me again what the LSAT is.
律师重要考试妈
The big lawyer test, Mom.
我还以为那叫律师资格考试
I thought that was the bar exam!
那是另一个律师重要考试
That's the other big lawyer test.
能让我说完吗
Can I please finish my story?
抱歉我一直打断你
I'm sorry. I've always interrupted you.
没事妈妈有时候你就...
It's okay, Mom. Sometimes you just...
有事我什么时候能停止啊
It's not o... When will I stop?!
喂
Hello?
克丽丝蒂我是米兰达
Christy, it's Miranda.
你不会相信
Hey, you are not gonna believe
我遇上了什么事这全要感谢你
what happened to me, and it's all thanks to you.
嗯嗯嗯其实你内心深处一直都有力量
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you had the power within you the whole time.
听着我们这里出了点问题
Listen, we got a bit of a situation over here.
我出去远足回来后就发现她成了这样
I went out for a hike, I came back, and I found her like this.
天啊怎么了
Oh, my God. What happened?
我在跟她上节制的课程
I was working with her on moderation.
我说服了她她能吃半块饼干然后停止
I convinced her she could eat half a cookie, then stop.
-所以她也喝了半杯酒 -是的
- So she tried it with booze. u202d- Yeah.
我搞砸了
I messed up.
别担心亲爱的我们在
Don't worry, honey, we're here.
难以置信我抛弃了过去坚持戒酒的那些时光
I can't believe I threw away all that time.
我真蠢
I'm so stupid.
你不蠢你是个酒瘾者
You're not stupid; you're an alcoholic.
真的很抱歉吉尔
I'm really sorry, Jill.
不是你的错米兰达
Not your fault, Miranda.
你没法逼别人戒酒也没法逼别人喝酒
You can't make someone get sober and you can't make them drink.
玛乔丽