-大家好 我是吉尔 酒瘾者 -你好 吉尔
- Hi, Jill, alcoholic. - Hi, Jill.
Things are good.
I got my 30-day chip yesterday.
Some of y'all weren't there,
so I thought I'd give you a chance to applaud.
Oh, come on! Carla got more applause
for not sleeping with her brother-in-law.
总之 我唯一的抱怨是 现在我又是新人了
Anyway, my only complaint is, now that I'm a newcomer again,
I'm not supposed to date for a year.
I mean, the Lamborghini's gassed up and fully detailed,
but Marjorie won't let me take it out of the garage.
Give it time.
嗡嗡 玛乔丽 嗡嗡
Vroom-vroom, Marjorie! Vroom-vroom!
That's all I got.
-大家好 我是邦妮 酒瘾者 -你好 邦妮
- Hi, Bonnie, alcoholic. - Hi, Bonnie.
Some of you may recall my recent share
about my fiancé's 17-year-old dog
crossing over the rainbow bridge.
I wasn't here. What happened?
Dog went gay?
"哦"对了 "哦"得好 "哦"得没错
Yes “aw,” total “aw,” justified “aw.”
Thankfully, Samson died peacefully in his sleep
with a big ol' pork chop in his belly.
God knows that's how I want to go.
The problem is, that was three weeks ago,
and Adam is still devastated.
I am relatively new to this--
what's it called, empathy?
But shouldn't he be through the five stages of grief by now?
他不刮胡子 不洗澡 穿着同一件运动衫
He's not shaving or showering; he's wearing the same sweatshirt
because it smells like his dog,
which means my fiancé smells like a dog.
I mean, I want to continue supporting him, but...
So I will say to you what I can't say to him.
All dogs go to heaven. Move on!
大家好 我是克丽丝蒂 酒瘾者
Hi, Christy, alcoholic.
So, I've been having some trouble with my boyfriend.
Oh, no. They're my Kate and William.
His birthday weekend didn't go well,
so I've been overthinking everything.
He texted me “How ya doin'?”
and I panicked and sent him an emoji of a cow.
I have no idea what it meant.
Tonight, he wants to Skype,
and I don't know whether it's a sexy Skype or a breakup Skype.
I mean, what do I wear?
I don't want to be sitting there in my nipple-less bra when...
he dumps me.
This is empathy, right?
Are you my fiance's son?
Because I'm having some forbidden feelings.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I showered and shaved.
Clean hair, clean teeth, clean underwear.
Wait, what's that I smell?
Mmm. It's nothing!
I think I'm ready to wash the dog bowls and put them away.
有进步 太棒了 我喜欢 不如你让我做吧
Progress. Awesome, I love it. Why don't you let me do it.
You go watch some TV and just relax.
Hey, I was thinking maybe later we could go out for dinner.
We could go to that place
where they flip the shrimp in your mouth.
Yeah, I like that place.
Remember when I caught one in my cleavage?
Ah, everybody enjoyed that.
This one's got to soak.
He's more than a dog.
He's your best friend.
What are you watching? What are you watching?
Ah, it's just a stupid commercial.
They're best friends. They grew up together.
But now he's too old to jump in the truck.
Well, I'm not spending the night at Adam's.
Weepy Sue is back with a vengeance.
I swear I've had all the sadness I can take for a lifetime.
Oh, no. What happened?
It wasn't sexy Skype. It was breakup Skype.
At least you dressed appropriately.
I was ready for both.
Oh, that's pretty.
Thanks. It's new.
What did Patrick say?
He asked me to go live with him.
He said he would take care of me,
that I wouldn't have to work so much.
That way, we could spend more time together.
But I said no, so he broke up with me.
Why the hell would you say no?
I can't move three hours away.
I have a life here.
听着 这也许不是好生活 但也是生活
Look, it may not be a great life, but it is a life.
I'm not ready to just give all that up.
Well, I support you no matter what, sweetie.
How 'bout I make you some tea,
and you go watch some TV and-and get your mind off it.
I'd like that.
What are you doing to me?
We now return to Love Actually.
-So how's Adam doing? - Not great.
Last night, I made him hot dogs and he burst into tears.
I mean, that is a whisper-thin connection.
Bonnie, everybody takes a different amount of time to process grief.
I know the guy's hurting, and I love him,
but sweet mother of pearl, this is hard.
我给他纸巾 我抱着他 我给他熬汤
I give him tissues, I hold him, I make him soup.
And what is the deal with sad people and soup?
He can't get enough soup.
It's too depressing when animals die.
It's why I couldn't become a vet.
And yet you became an emergency room nurse.
What's your point?
I think it's sexy when a man's in touch with his emotions.
Victor cried when my calico Janis Joplin died.
We made love with the lights on that night.