Really? That's how you're gonna do it?
Wendy, she's a prison nurse,
which means she can kick your ass and bandage you up.
Follow my finger, follow my finger.
What are you looking for?
I don't know.
I think I just took a clog to the head.
I'm sorry. They help me with my back pain.
And it wasn't my fault, someone hit me with Wendy.
Oh, my God, my watch.
My watch. Someone stole my watch!
Oh wait, I hid it in my bra.
Is everyone all right?
No, her arm is broken.
It's not broken.
It's just poorly bandaged.
We were just trying to help some alcoholics.
Oh, hey. Anyone lose an earring?
Ah! It's a tooth!
Can you tell me exactly what happened here?
One at a time, please.
I organized an AA meeting for your inmates
and we were all very excited to be here this afternoon.
Oh, God, why do we have to do this?
Adam and I had plans.
To do what?
Anything but this.
And how did I get roped into driving?
I should be in the back seat studying for the LSATs.
Hmm. Trust me, you do not want be crammed
in this little back seat.
It's like a Red Bull graveyard back here.
Or as I like to call it, sober cocaine.
Why didn't we take your car?
It's roomy and it has the Broadway Channel.
Those crooks see me pull up in my Range Rover,
next thing you know I'm a hostage with a torn blouse
doing whatever it takes to survive.
Jill, there's guards in the room.
We'll be fine.
There will be guards, right, Marjorie?
Yes, and we all agreed to do this panel months ago.
Only because you're old and we assumed you'd forget.
Mom, I'll give you a hundred bucks
if you remember our phone number.
I just don't know what I have to offer.
A bunch of convicts aren't gonna relate to my story:
some rich bitch who went to four fancy rehabs to get sober.
It's just gonna make 'em angry.
It makes me angry.
Look, it's important to share our recovery with these women.
The first meeting I ever went to was when I was in prison.
Who knows, you can change someone's life today.
Or we could assume their lives are fine and just go home.
I'm excited to talk to them.
I even came up with a few jokes to break the ice.
- So these two serial killers are in a canoe... - Stop.
I am not getting shivved because you want to be Jimmy Kimmel.
You don't get "Shivved," You get "Shanked.
A shiv is a thing you get shanked with.
You get shanked with a shiv.
Can you move the story along?
I'm sorry, I'm just trying to give you context.
let me take it from here.
We arrived, ate a bowl
of something gray with cornbread.
Then we started the panel for the inmates.
Wendy bombed with her jokes.
Hey, they were starting to warm up.
Someone spit on you.
Then Christy did her usual
"Hate my mom, gonna be a lawyer" Deal,
then it was my turn to share my story.
Which wasn't your story at all.
All right, I may have gotten off to a rocky start.
I'm not gonna lie,
it's just so hard being poor.
Jugglin' four jobs
at four different job places.
Okay, even I didn't believe what I just said.
事实是 我很有钱 我都不知道
Truth is, I'm rich. Like, "I don't even know
how much a loaf of bread costs" Rich.
But all that money couldn't keep me from using.
I recently threw away three years of sobriety.
I was drinking in every room of my big, fancy house,
including the gym.
It's real hard to crash a stationary bike,
but it can be done.
Now I've got a little over a month
and I'm holding on for dear life.
I'm not sure if that makes sense to any of you,
but that's my story.
Shoulda skipped the part about the gym.
Why? They got a gym here.
First, let me apologize for Wendy's "Captive audience" Joke.
She doesn't get out much.
Well, probably more than you.
That's how it's done.
总之 我是邦妮 我是个酒瘾者
Anyway, I'm Bonnie and I'm an alcoholic.
-你好 邦妮 -邦妮·普兰科特
- Hi, Bonnie. - Bonnie Plunkett?
You ruined my life!
Code three, rec room.
Oh, my God! I'm gonna die
in a women's prison!
Well, how do you know Tammy Diffendorf?
I don't. I have never seen her before in my life.
But she knew your name
and said she wanted to kill you.
My mom gets that more often than you think.
Do you want to press charges?
Would there be any monetary compensation
for my pain and suffering?
37 years I've been doing these panels,
never once have I been hit with a chair.
Are you implying this is my fault?
She didn't threaten to kill me.
She would if she knew you.
You really don't remember who she is?