极品老妈第五季第十九集

Mom S05E19

Part2

2020年1月3日 21:59

I could say the same thing to you.
接招吧约会网
Get ready, Match.Com.
鼻子太大了
Whoa, that's a lot of nose.
瑞塔你好
Rita, hi.
看看谁打扮成女人了
Oh, look who's a girl.
是啊我只是在为约会网拍照
Yeah, I'm just trying to take a picture for a dating site.
我儿子也在做同样的事
I found my son doing that same thing.
他的妆比较淡
His makeup was more subtle.
我最近和某人分手了
Well, I recently broke up with someone,
所以我想重返情场...
so, you know, I'm trying to get back out there and...
我们没在交心
We're not bonding here.
我在洗衣间又找到了一处漏水点
I found another leak in the laundry room.
后楼梯的扶栏松了
The banister on the back staircase is loose.
你为什么不记下来
Why aren't you writing this down?
好
Okay.
漏水扶栏
Leak, banister.
还有吗
Anything else?
我难道会保密吗
Would I keep it a secret?
好
Right.
听着
Hey, listen, um,
我知道这有点奇怪但既然你来了
I know this is a little weird, but since you're here,
你能帮我拍照张吗
could you help me get a picture?
我胳膊没长到让我的鼻子看起来正常
My arms aren't long enough to make my nose look normal.
好
Okay.
我要看起来漂亮但不浪
I want to look pretty, but not slutty.
可交往但不急于交往
Available, but not desperate.
-聪明但不... -好了
- Smart, but not... u202d- There.
但我还没...
But I wasn't quite...
天啊完美
Wow, that's perfect.
我希望你快点找到某人
I hope you find someone quickly
因为照你妈妈这进度
because at the rate your mother's going,
你得找一个新住处了
you're going to need to find a new place to live.
不不不她非常努力
No, no, no, no, she is trying so hard.
她真的喜欢这份工作
She really does love this job.
我丈夫还喜欢我呢
And my husband loved me.
世事无常
Things change.
告诉你妈妈
Tell your mother
如果她三天完成不了修理
if she doesn't complete the repairs in three days,
她就被炒了
she's out.
但如果你赶走她
But if you kick her out,
你也得赶走我
you're gonna have to kick me out.
也许新大楼管♥理♥员♥会允许你住一起
Maybe the new building manager can let you live with them.
你可以当那种公♥寓♥附带的猫咪
You could be like the cat that comes with the apartment.
不不她会做到的你会看到的
No, no, she's gonna do it. You'll see.
她没你想的那么无能
She's not nearly as incompetent as you might think.
是灯吗
Was that the light?
我会加到清单上
I'm adding it to the list.
她走了吗
Is she gone?
你从哪来的
Where'd you come from?
我看到她车停在前面所以我从后面溜进来的
I saw her car out front, so I snuck around back.
吃玉米热狗吗
Corn dog?
看看
Ah, look at this.
干完活后拍下来发给我
"Take pictures of work when you're finished and send to me"?
她以为她是谁啊
Who does she think she is?
让老娘给你拍第一张照片
I got your first picture right here.
-妈妈 -对
- Mom. - u202dOh, right.
不不
Whoa! u202dNo! u202dNo!
你们是说别做啊
Oh. You mean don't do it.
抱歉邦妮但我支持瑞塔
Sorry, Bonnie, but I'm with Rita.
如果我不对员工凶点
If I don't crack the whip with my staff,
他们就永远不会喂天鹅
my swans will never get fed.
你和你接地气的烦恼
Oh, you and your relatable problems.
你已经管理这栋楼四年了
You've been managing this building for four years.
你知道该做什么为什么这么抗拒
You know the job. Why are you fighting so hard against it?
看看谁找到假牙能啃的东西了
Oh, look who's found something to sink her dentures into.
而且我已经点餐了我不能走
And I already ordered, so I can't leave.
你为什么这么介意
Why are you sweating about this?
做好你的工作就行了
Just do your job.
唯一的工作是购物的女人说道
Says the woman whose only job is shopping.
那些店每天早上10点开门时我都在
Hey, I am at those stores every morning at 10:00 A.M. When they open up.
我几天前就会炒了你
I would've fired you days ago.
我几年前就会炒了她
I would've fired her years ago.
-我压根不会雇她 -知道吗
- I would've never hired her in the first place. - You know what,
我不用坐在这里听你们哔哔去你们的
I don't have to sit here and listen to this. Screw you all.
服务员把我的卷饼碗送到厕所里
Waitress, I'd like my taco bowl in the bathroom.
这计划不太好
Well, this was not a good plan.
邦妮
Bonnie...
不
No.
我为什么一直把自己关在更小的地方
Why do I keep locking myself into smaller spaces?
走开
Go away!
我不去任何地方
I'm not going anywhere.
那我猜我要住这了
Well, then I guess I live here now.
你在做什么邦妮
What are you doing, Bonnie?
拜托别对我来玛乔丽式说教
Oh, don't go all Marjorie on me please.
我恨我老板
I hate my boss.
没有什么深意
There's no underlying blah, blah, blah.
总是有深意的
Oh, there's always underlying blah, blah, blah.
你是想搞砸自己的生活吗
Are you trying to blow up your life?
不
No!
好我们玩个游戏
Okay, let's play a game.
-假装我是你老板 -再见
- Pretend I'm your boss. - u202dGood-bye.
那工作给了你住处
That job puts a roof over your head.
你为什么这么抗拒
Why are you so resistant to doing it?
因为我讨厌这工作
Because I hate it!
非常屈辱
It's humiliating!
我五十岁了还在通厕所
I'm in my 50s, and I'm plunging toilets.
-那不是我的梦想玛乔 -那你的梦想是什么
- This was not the dream, Marge. - Okay, what is the dream?
我不知道但那并不包括
Well, I don't know, but it doesn't involve
把浣熊赶出垃圾壁橱
chasing raccoons out of a garbage closet.
但那就是工作
But that is the job.
没错如果我做得好
Right. And if I do it well,
那我这辈子都会做这事
then I'll be doing it for the rest of my life,
那我就是这样的人了
and then that's just who I am.
该死
Damn it,
我们刚发现了深意
we just found the underlying blah, blah, blah.
你现在也许没做自己想做的事
Look, you might not be doing what you want to with your life,
但那不是瑞塔的错
but that's not Rita's fault.
闭嘴
Shut up.
邦妮工作并不是你的身份
Bonnie, the job isn't who you are.
只是你在成为想做的人的路上做的事
It's just what you're doing on the road to what you're gonna be.
我说了闭嘴
I said shut up.
你真想在这里吃吗
Did you actually want this in here?
没叉子吗我是动物吗
No fork? What am I, an animal?
我得说这玩意儿里面没尸体时
Got to say, these things are a lot easier
搬起来容易多了
to drag without a body inside.
亚当你在干什么呢
Adam, what the hell are you doing?
修好喷泉
Fixing the fountain.
我只让你清理树叶
All I said was clean out the leaves.
我跟你说了做更多的事会让她生气
I told you above and beyond makes her mad.
我只是觉得如果这玩意儿放水平了
I just think if this was level
并且换掉管子
and the tubing was replaced,
那我就能让它重新工作了
that I could get it working again.
这里甚至可以养鱼
You could even have fish in here.
鱼她连我都养不活
Fish? She barely kept me alive.
等你终于为过去的事原谅我你会说什么
What will you talk about when you finally forgive me for the past?
我不会过度烦恼
I'm not overly concerned.
把那玩意儿推回墙里就行
Just shove that thing back on the wall.
如果你不想让我好好干活
Hey, you know, don't ask for my help
就别找我帮忙
if you don't want the job done right.
天啊瑞塔来了
Oh, God, Rita's coming.
你怎么知道的