极品老妈第五季第二十集

Mom S05E20

Part2

2020年1月3日 22:00

and he makes his own pasta.
壁炉硬木地板
Wow. A fireplace, hardwood floors
自♥制♥意面
and homemade pasta?
我头都要晕了
I'm getting lightheaded.
-你有糖尿病吗 -你过去六个月有没有
- Are you a diabetic? - Have you traveled to any tropical countries
去过热带国家
in the last six months?
这只是我表达自己快乐的尴尬说法
It's just my socially awkward way of saying I'm happy.
懂了抱歉
Oh, got it. Sorry.
我们总是处于护士模式
We're kind of in nurse mode all the time.
我负担不起医保
Well, I can't afford health insurance,
所以这又是一个优点
so that's another plus.
彼得太可口了
Peter, this is delicious.
做饭能让我放松在我协助了一整天
Oh. Cooking relaxes me-- which I really needed
克莱文格医生后我特别需要这个
after a day of assisting Dr. Clevenger.
最糟糕了
The worst.
-太自大了 -好像他是唯一一个
- So full of himself. - Like he's the only surgeon
切除肠部时
who's ever resected a bowel
没把粪便溅到腹部的外科医生
without spilling fecal matter into the abdomen.
我前几天协助切掉了一颗巨大肿瘤
I helped him remove a giant tumor the other day--
结果像水球一样爆了
it burst like a water balloon.
拉里被脓液滑倒了
Larry slipped in the pus.
还要酱吗
More sauce?
不要了
I'm good.
后面是苹果树吗
So, is that an apple tree out back?
是的在秋天我们会酿苹果酒
Yeah. In the fall, we make cider.
壁炉旁喝苹果酒
Apple cider by the fireplace.
多棒啊
How wonderful.
记得那个眼眶里塞着苹果的
Remember when that teenager came into the E.R.
去看急诊的少年吗
with the apple lodged in his eye socket?
记得
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
他朋友用空气炮喷出了苹果然后砰
His friend shot it out of an air cannon, and boom,
苹果泥和眼内液从眼眶里四溢而出
nothing but apple sauce and ocular fluid oozing out of the hole.
天啊
Oh, boy.
太有趣了
This is so fun.
如果你住这里我们每晚都能这样
If you live here, we can do this every night.
当我们取出苹果时
Ooh. And when we extracted the apple,
眼神经像皮筋一样拉了出来
the ocular nerve came stretching out like a rubber band.
厕所在哪里
Where's your bathroom?
他不丢该死的三明治
He won't throw away the damn sandwich.
已经四天了如果明天还在那里
It's been four days-- if it's still there tomorrow,
我觉得我有权放火烧他
I think I'm within my rights to set him on fire.
你为什么没分享这事
Why didn't you share about it?
也许她知道这听起来多荒谬
Maybe she knows how ridiculous it sounds.
这里以前是安全空间玛乔丽
This used to be a safe space, Marjorie.
然后你来了我们就改了
And then you started coming and we've adjusted.
砰
Pow!
反击邦妮越来越精彩了
Hit her back, Bonnie-- this is getting good.
我真的很担心
I'm genuinely worried.
男友亚当努力
Boyfriend Adam made an effort,
未婚夫亚当懈怠
Fiancé Adam is slacking off.
照这个趋势老公亚当只会
At this rate, Husband Adam will only be
看冰球比赛挠蛋和放屁了
hockey games, ball scratches and farts.
至少你会结婚
At least you'll be married.
我会吗我们定了日期但还没告诉别人
Will I? We set a date, but we haven't told anybody--
我依然可以逃掉
I can still wiggle out of this.
就为了一个三明治吗
Over a sandwich.
安全空间玛乔丽安全空间
Safe space, Marjorie, safe space.
拉尔夫在看孩子我自♥由♥了
Ralph's watching the kids-- I'm a free woman.
我可以疯玩只要我9点半之前回家就行
I can go nuts, as long as I'm home by 9:30.
好吧你们猜怎么着
Oh. Okay. Um, you know what?
我们那里再见
I'm gonna meet you there.
我感觉这家伙阴魂不散是有原因的
I have a feeling this one is hovering with a purpose.
抱歉
Sorry.
好的
Okay...
我照你说的做了
I did what you said.
-我看了我有什么别的选择 -好样的
- I looked at my other options. - Good for you.
我可以负担起
I can afford a studio apartment
以前是客卫的一居室公♥寓♥
that used to be a guest bathroom,
《沉默的羔羊》里的地下室
a basement out of Silence of the Lambs
或者我可以搬到温蒂住的华丽房♥子
or I can move into a gorgeous house with Wendy
永远不再吃饭
and never eat again.
所以呢
So...?
没有一个选择比我的现状好
None of them are better than what I've got now,
所以我猜我不得不和我妈一起住
so I guess I'm stuck living with my mom.
不你选择和她一起住
No. You're choosing to live with her.
我不会这样措辞
Well, I wouldn't use those words.
-你必须这样措辞 -为什么
- I'm gonna need you to. u202d- Why?
因为如果你没得选你就是受害者
Because if you're stuck, you're a victim.
做选择是有力量的
There's power in making a choice.
所以我想听到你说
So I want to hear you say,
我选择和我妈一起住
"I'm choosing to live with my mother""
好吧
Fine.
我选择和我妈一起住
I am choosing to live with my mother.
你以为我会很难说出口
You thought that was gonna be hard for me,
但真的不难
but it really wasn't.
我选择和我妈一起住
I am choosing to live with my mother.
很好那你要对她好一些
Great. Then you got to be nice to her.
什么
What?
你期待我和我妈一起住还对她好吗
You expect me to live with my mother and be nice to her?
你为什么不让我解决全球变暖问题啊
Why don't you just ask me to solve global warming?
如果你能解决那就去解决
Well, if you can do that, you need to go ahead and do it,
但现在我们要关注你妈妈
but right now let's focus on your mom.
这就是我所说的
Yeah, but that's what I'm talking about.
那种声音必须停止
That "Ugh" Stuff has got to stop.
但一关注我妈妈我就会发出这种声音
But that's what comes out when I focus on my mother.
在互助会里我们谈到了爱和忍♥耐
In the program, we talk about being loving and tolerant.
涉及到你妈妈时你两者都没有
When it comes to your mother, you are neither.
说清楚这声是对你的
Just to be clear, that one was directed at you.
等等我到底要对我妈妈有多好
Wait. Exactly how nice to my mother do I have to be?
因为我觉得我没用石头砸她就够好了
Because I feel like any day I don't hit her with a rock is a win.
首先
Well, for starters,
你不能说想用石头砸她
you can't talk about wanting to hit her with a rock.
不用非得是石头
It doesn't have to be a rock.
我不希望你对她说刻薄话或者说她坏话
I don't want you to say mean things to her or about her.
我需要你一直都保持善良
I need you to be kind all the time.
-但我不... -保持善良
- But I don't... - Be kind, be kind, be kind.
但如果我把仇恨都埋在心底里
But if I keep all my hate inside,
我会炸掉的我容量没那么大
I'm gonna pop-- I'm not that big.
你要把一切都埋在心底
You're gonna keep it all inside.
每次你生你妈妈的气时
Every time you're angry at your mom,
我都要你为她做件好事
I want you to do something nice for her.
那很疯狂
That's crazy.
那我会一直为她做好事
I'll be doing nice things for her all the time.
没错这是艰难的部分
That's right. And here's the tricky part.
你还没跟我说艰难的部分吗
You haven't told me the tricky part yet?
你不能跟她说你做的好事
You can't tell her the nice things you do,
也不能跟别人说包括我
or anybody else, including me.
我不想听
I don't want to hear it.
等等我还得不到表扬吗
Wait, I don't even get credit?
我改主意了
I changed my mind.
我去跟温蒂一起住爆眼球的房♥子
I'll live in Wendy's house of oozing eyeballs.
重点是为了感受到爱
The point is, to feel love,
你必须做有爱之事
you have to do love.
-回头见 -你们好
- Hi, see you later. - Hey, guys.
-回头见 -真好
- See you in a minute. - Oh, good.
你在跟她抱怨
You're doing all your whining to her.
这样我们在咖啡馆里就不用听了
Then we won't have to hear it at the bistro.
去你的妈妈
Kiss my ass, Mom!
我该现在开始吗
Oh, am I supposed to start now?
-早上好 -好
- Morning. u202d- Morning.
咖啡去哪儿了