极品老妈第五季第二十集

Mom S05E20

Part3

2020年1月3日 22:00

Where'd the coffee go?
我洗澡之前泡了一壶
I started a pot before I took my shower.
我喝了
I drank it.
一整壶吗
The whole pot?
真好希望你觉得好喝
Great. I hope you enjoyed it.
就那样
Meh.
我喜欢你的靴子
I like your boots.
不能给你
You can't have 'em.
我要巨大的鞋干什么
What the hell would I do with gigantic work...
你今天想干什么呢妈妈
So, what are you up to today, Mom?
我要去家得宝
I'm going to the Home Depot.
听起来很令人激动
That sounds exciting.
对比你的生活当然是了
Compared to your life, sure.
真好笑妈妈
Good one, Mom.
你绝对有有趣能量
You sure have a fun energy.
我喝了一壶咖啡呢
Well, I've got a pot of coffee in me.
那有帮助
That helps.
-回见 -再见
- Later. - Bye.
希望你今天过得开心
I hope you have a super day.
喝掉了老娘泡的所有咖啡
Drinks all the freakin' coffee I made.
也许老娘也想喝老娘泡的咖啡
Maybe I want some of the freakin' coffee I made.
不不不
No, no, no. No.
做点好事做点好事
Do something nice. Do something nice.
比如说捡起
Like pick up her sweater
她扔在果盘上的毛衣
that she dumped in the fruit bowl.
因为它就该在这里
'Cause that's where that belongs.
她也许把袜子塞进了保鲜盒
Probably shoves her socks in the crisper.
她是最自私不顾别人小气
She is the most selfish, inconsiderate, petty,
自恋懒惰狂喝咖啡的禽兽
narcissistic, lazy, coffee-hogging monster.
我不能把这完美叠好的毛衣
Well, I can't put this perfectly folded sweater
放在这乱糟糟的床上
on this catastrophe of a bed.
我是精神巨人
I am a spiritual giant.
你什么时候来的
Oh, when did you get here?
几分钟前你妈妈呢
Uh, just a few minutes ago. Where's your mom?
她去了家得宝
She went to Home Depot.
家得宝我需要一瓶啤酒
Home Depot? I'm gonna need a beer.
-我去拿 -谢谢
- I'll get it. u202d- Thanks.
你妈妈最近很烦人啊
So your mom's been a real pain in the ass lately, huh?
不是
No.
拜托所以我才提早来
Come on, that's why I came over early,
好跟你一起发泄
so we could both vent.
这就像是一个互助小组
It's like our tiny support group.
邦妮匿名会
Bonnie Anonymous.
我爱我妈妈
I... love my mom.
所以我选择跟她一起住这里
That is why I choose to live here with her.
天啊她在我身后吗
Oh, God, is she behind me?
我就不能说我妈的好话
Can't I say nice things about my mom
同时不奇怪吗
without it being weird?
我觉得你做不到
I don't think so.
别动游戏还在继续
Whoa, leave that. It's still in play.
真的吗已经放在这里好多天了
Really? It's been sitting here for days.
味道好难闻就连格斯也不愿意吃
It smells so bad, even Gus won't eat it.
谁扔掉那个三明治
Look, whoever throws away that sandwich
谁在我们的婚姻中就处于弱势
will be the weak one in our marriage,
永远直到我们去世
forever, till the day we die.
你的婚誓会很棒的
Your vows are gonna be amazing.
我排在一对拉拉情侣后面他们东西好多
Well, I got stuck in line behind a lesbian couple
简直是要造露天平台
building a deck.
我要去洗个澡
I'm gonna go take a shower.
虽然你没穿去吃晚餐的正式衣服
Not that we dress for dinner around here.
城里有40多家餐厅
There are over 40 places in this town
可以穿T恤去
that are okay with a T-shirt.
我看了点评网
I Yelped!
我看了点评网老娘叫你点评
"I Yelped." I'll make you yelp.
瞧瞧他做了什么
Look what he did.
我洗完澡后
Hey, after I shower,
我们去看你想看的那部电影怎么样
how 'bout we catch that movie you wanted to see?
机器人打架的那个吗
The one with the fighting robots?
是的
Yeah.
好啊
Wow. Okay.
谢谢
Thanks.
然后我换掉T恤这样我们
And then how about I change my shirt
就能去吃晚餐了这怎么样
so we can go to dinner, too?
真的吗
Really?
真好谢谢
That would be nice. Thank you.
不客气
You're welcome.
我跟你说上周
I'm telling you, this last week,
亚当完全变了一个人
Adam has been a totally different guy.
每次我转身砰
Every time I turn around, boom,
他就又做了一件好事
he's done another nice thing.
他一直铺床
He keeps making the bed,
洗了两次衣服还吸尘了
he's done the laundry twice, he even vacuumed.
他就像是能和你上♥床♥的佣人
He's like a maid you can have sex with.
最棒的是他一个字都没提
Best part, he never says a word.
不需要表扬他就有这么好
Doesn't need the credit. That's how amazing he is.
这是丝绸的呢
Hey, this is silk.
送来我们家吧
Well, bring it over to our house.
也许亚当能帮你洗
Maybe Adam can clean it for you,
而且还不要表扬
without taking credit.
克丽丝蒂你没事吧
Christy, are you okay?
我没事只是这只鸡很难切
I'm fine. I just got a tough chicken.
很高兴亚当在努力
Well, I'm glad Adam is making an effort
这样你就不用孤独终老了
so you don't have to die alone.
-结论还待分晓 -为什么
- Jury's still out on that. - u202dWhy?
因为我内心深处
Because... there's a little part of me
觉得这是个陷阱
that thinks this is a trap--
如果他做这些好事
I mean, like, what if he's doing all these nice things
只是为了骗我拿起三明治丢掉呢
to trick me into picking up the sandwich?
或者你也可以对他做的好事
Yeah. Or you could just take the nice things he's doing
信以为真不假想人们在害你
at face value, and not assume people are out to get you.
行吧我就跳上去笨蛋镇的动车
Sure. I'll just jump on the bullet train to Chump Town.
笨蛋镇有许多幸福美满的婚姻
Lot of happy marriages in Chump Town.
我不是跟你吵
I'm not arguing with you,
我只是说你完全错了
I am just saying you are completely wrong.
我越好就越生气
The nicer I am, the angrier I get.
这才一周给它一些时间
It's only been a week-- give it time.
我知道你跟我说我不能邀功
I know you told me that I couldn't take credit,
但你没告诉我我得看着别人
but you didn't tell me that I would have to watch someone else
一天又一天又一天地得到表扬
get credit day after day after day after day.
又一天
After day!
那肯定很难
Oh. That must be hard.
我就是这意思
That's what I'm saying.
真糟糕继续这样做吧
Too bad. Keep doing it.
我得挂了
Now, I got to go.
-但如果我 -我真的得挂了
- But what if I... - I really got to go.
现在交给诺拉·罗杰斯预报天气
And now with the weather, here's Nora Rogers.
希望你们准备好了夹克
Hope you got those jackets ready,
因为今晚会很冷
'cause tonight's gonna be a chilly one. Uh-huh.
周二...
And going into Tue...
看在老天的分上
Oh, for God's sake.
别当个傻子
Stop being an idiot!
扔掉这该死的三明治
Just throw away the damn sandwich!
-呃 -怎么了
- Uh... u202d- What?
你之前从未吼过我
You've never yelled at me before.
抱歉
Sorry.
我最近咽下了许多愤怒
I've been swallowing a lot of anger lately.
克丽丝蒂我想扔了它
Christy, I want to throw it away
因为你妈妈最近很好
'cause your mom's been so nice lately,
但这有点像是越战我知道我得撤了
but it's kind of like Vietnam-- I know I need to get out,
但我如何取得体面的和平
but how can I achieve peace with honor?
也许你不该把感情当成战争