Where'd the coffee go?
I started a pot before I took my shower.
I drank it.
The whole pot?
Great. I hope you enjoyed it.
I like your boots.
You can't have 'em.
What the hell would I do with gigantic work...
So, what are you up to today, Mom?
I'm going to the Home Depot.
That sounds exciting.
Compared to your life, sure.
Good one, Mom.
You sure have a fun energy.
Well, I've got a pot of coffee in me.
- Later. - Bye.
I hope you have a super day.
Drinks all the freakin' coffee I made.
Maybe I want some of the freakin' coffee I made.
No, no, no. No.
Do something nice. Do something nice.
Like pick up her sweater
that she dumped in the fruit bowl.
'Cause that's where that belongs.
Probably shoves her socks in the crisper.
她是最自私 不顾别人 小气
She is the most selfish, inconsiderate, petty,
自恋 懒惰 狂喝咖啡的禽兽
narcissistic, lazy, coffee-hogging monster.
Well, I can't put this perfectly folded sweater
on this catastrophe of a bed.
I am a spiritual giant.
Oh, when did you get here?
Uh, just a few minutes ago. Where's your mom?
She went to Home Depot.
Home Depot? I'm gonna need a beer.
- I'll get it. u202d- Thanks.
So your mom's been a real pain in the ass lately, huh?
Come on, that's why I came over early,
so we could both vent.
It's like our tiny support group.
I... love my mom.
That is why I choose to live here with her.
Oh, God, is she behind me?
Can't I say nice things about my mom
without it being weird?
I don't think so.
Whoa, leave that. It's still in play.
Really? It's been sitting here for days.
It smells so bad, even Gus won't eat it.
Look, whoever throws away that sandwich
will be the weak one in our marriage,
forever, till the day we die.
Your vows are gonna be amazing.
Well, I got stuck in line behind a lesbian couple
building a deck.
I'm gonna go take a shower.
Not that we dress for dinner around here.
There are over 40 places in this town
that are okay with a T-shirt.
"I Yelped." I'll make you yelp.
Look what he did.
Hey, after I shower,
how 'bout we catch that movie you wanted to see?
The one with the fighting robots?
And then how about I change my shirt
so we can go to dinner, too?
That would be nice. Thank you.
I'm telling you, this last week,
Adam has been a totally different guy.
Every time I turn around, boom,
he's done another nice thing.
He keeps making the bed,
he's done the laundry twice, he even vacuumed.
He's like a maid you can have sex with.
Best part, he never says a word.
Doesn't need the credit. That's how amazing he is.
Hey, this is silk.
Well, bring it over to our house.
Maybe Adam can clean it for you,
without taking credit.
Christy, are you okay?
I'm fine. I just got a tough chicken.
Well, I'm glad Adam is making an effort
so you don't have to die alone.
- Jury's still out on that. - u202dWhy?
Because... there's a little part of me
that thinks this is a trap--
I mean, like, what if he's doing all these nice things
to trick me into picking up the sandwich?
Yeah. Or you could just take the nice things he's doing
at face value, and not assume people are out to get you.
Sure. I'll just jump on the bullet train to Chump Town.
Lot of happy marriages in Chump Town.
I'm not arguing with you,
I am just saying you are completely wrong.
The nicer I am, the angrier I get.
It's only been a week-- give it time.
I know you told me that I couldn't take credit,
but you didn't tell me that I would have to watch someone else
get credit day after day after day after day.
Oh. That must be hard.
That's what I'm saying.
Too bad. Keep doing it.
Now, I got to go.
- But what if I... - I really got to go.
And now with the weather, here's Nora Rogers.
Hope you got those jackets ready,
'cause tonight's gonna be a chilly one. Uh-huh.
And going into Tue...
Oh, for God's sake.
Stop being an idiot!
Just throw away the damn sandwich!
- Uh... u202d- What?
You've never yelled at me before.
I've been swallowing a lot of anger lately.
Christy, I want to throw it away
'cause your mom's been so nice lately,
but it's kind of like Vietnam-- I know I need to get out,
but how can I achieve peace with honor?