我遇到了所谓的道德窘境
So, I have what I've been told is a moral dilemma.
不管你的直觉是什么 反着来
Whatever your gut is telling you, do the opposite.
一开始我也这么想 所以我改了
That's what I thought at first, so I switched,
但那让我觉得 我应该再改一次
but that made me think I should switch again.
现在我该怎么选
So now where am I?
我继续玩手♥机♥了
I'm going back to my phone.
她说到重点时推我一下
Give me a nudge when she gets to it.
帕特里克要结婚了
Patrick's getting married.
手♥机♥放下了
And the phone is down.
他和克丽丝蒂不是刚分手吗
I feel like he and Christy just broke up.
是啊
They did.
男人都是猪
Men are pigs.
除非他和旧日爱人重归于好
Unless he reconnected with a long-lost love.
那样的话 真暖心
In that case, aw.
是那个健美模特
It's the fitness model.
他把戒指藏在了她的莓子冰沙里
He hid the ring in her "A-sigh" Bowl.
不是叫巴西莓吗
It thought it was "A-kye."
你们都错了 应该叫阿萨伊莓
You're both wrong. It's "Ah-sigh-ee."
谁在乎怎么叫啊
Who cares how you say it?
那不过是果汁牛奶冻
It's just sherbert.
实际上 应该叫果汁奶冻
Actually, it's "Sher-bit."
好吧 再见
Okay, good-bye.
别走
Stop.
克丽丝蒂有什么反应
How's Christy taking it?
她还不知道
She doesn't know.
欢迎来到之前提到的窘境
Welcome to the aforementioned dilemma.
你为什么不告诉她
Why haven't you told her?
因为亚当要带我去里诺的水疗度假村
Because Adam's taking me away for a romantic weekend
享受浪漫周末
at a spa resort in Reno.
真好
Ooh... u202dOh... u202dOh...
理论上当然好了
In theory, "Oh..."
但我怎么可能在部分山景房♥里
But how can I enjoy making sweet love to Adam
和亚当享受做♥爱♥
in our room with partial mountain view
如果肿眼克丽丝蒂一直给我打视频电♥话♥
when I keep getting FaceTimed by a puffy-eyed Christy?
部分山景
Partial view?
我还以为他爱你呢
I thought he loved you.
继续玩手♥机♥去吧
Go back to your phone.
邦妮 当母亲的一部分
Bonnie, part of being a mother
就是把孩子摆在自己之前
is putting your child before you.
那孩子已经四十岁了
That child is 40 years old,
我这孩子从没有享受过热石按♥摩♥
and this child has never had a hot stone massage.
玛乔丽 只是两天
Oh, Marjorie, it's just two days.
让她享受一下吧
Let her have some fun.
她以后一辈子都只有部分景色了
She's looking at a lifetime of partial views.
完全对 我周一也可以
Exactly. I can just as easily
毁掉我女儿的世界
crush my daughter's world on Monday.
也许可以给她带一个里诺雪花球 作为缓冲
And maybe bring her a Reno snow globe to soften the blow.
她讨厌那东西
She hates those things.
不是每个人都讨厌
Not everyone does.
窘境结束了 我想她知道了
Dilemma over. I think she knows.
我们不能确定 或许是我做的事
We can't be sure. It might be something I did.
但愿是我做的事
Oh, please be something I did.
怎么了 亲爱的
What's the matter, honey?
帕特里克要结婚了
Patrick's getting married.
他发到Ins上了
He posted on Instagram.
他把戒指藏在了恰奇莓冰沙里给她
He gave her a ring in an "Ah-cha-chi" Bowl.
实际上
Actually...
随她吧
Let her have this.
极品老妈 第五季第二十一集
你想来一口吗
You want a hit?
不 谢了 我已经吃了一坨饼干面团当午餐了
No. No, thanks. I already had a log of cookie dough for lunch.
我不明白
I just don't understand
帕特里克怎么这么快就翻篇了
how Patrick can get over me so fast.
人家可是抢手货
I'm a catch.
不是因为你 我弟弟无法单独生活
It's not you-- my brother just can't live alone.
所以他愿意随便找个人结婚吗
So what, he'll just marry anyone?
他浴室的浴巾上面该写什么
What do the towels in his bathroom say?
"他的和不管谁的"吗
"His and Whoever"?
宝贝 你只带短裤和T恤去里诺吗
Babe, you're just taking shorts and T-shirts to Reno, right?
-是的 会很热的 -当然会火热了
- Yeah. It's gonna be hot. - Oh. It's gonna be hot.
对了
Oh. Right.
会非常火热的
It's gonna be so hot.
我依然能听到你
I can still hear you.
亲爱的 你这周末不会有事吧
Honey, are you gonna be okay this weekend?
你为什么不和姑娘们约个活动
Why don't you make plans with the girls?
吉尔有事 温蒂上班
Jill's busy, Wendy's working,
玛乔丽和维克托周末要
and Marjorie and Victor are spending the weekend
重新发现他们的爱
rediscovering their love.
-恶心 -恶心
- Oosh. u202d- Ugh. u202d
我需要巧克力糖浆
I need some chocolate syrup.
这不够甜
This isn't sweet enough.
我担心她
I'm worried about her.
我也是 你觉得我们应该推后旅行吗
Me, too. You think we should postpone this trip?
不行 我可以边担心她边骑在你身上
No way. I can still worry about her while I'm on top of you
边看山景和停车场
looking at some mountain and some parking lot.
亲爱的 我们什么时候都能去旅游
You know, honey, we could go away together anytime.
如果你和她去
I would not take it personally
而不是和我去 我不会介意的
if you went with her instead of me.
你真好
You're so sweet.
坦白说你这周末
So what's the sporting event
不想错过什么体育赛事
you don't want to miss this weekend?
我承认当我定下旅行时
I'll admit, when I booked this trip,
我没想到埃德蒙顿队和卡尔加里队
that I did not know Edmonton and Calgary
会打到第七场比赛
would make it to a game seven.
让我猜猜 这两支队
And let me guess-- those two teams
不是很喜欢对方
don't like each other very much.
气氛会有点火爆的
Oh, it's gonna get a little chippy.
但我真心觉得你该带上她
But I really do think that you should take her
让她别想帕特里克了
and get her mind off Patrick.
相信我 她不会有事的
Trust me, she's gonna be okay.
她比看上去坚强
She's stronger than she looks,
拜某位令她一生失望的人所赐
thanks to a lifetime of disappointment.
我们没巧克力糖浆了
We didn't have any chocolate syrup,
所以我在白糖和果脆圈里蘸了蘸
so I just rolled it in sugar and Froot Loops.
我也许发明了了不起的东西
I might have invented something great.
你有亚当真幸运
You are so lucky to have Adam.
他多好啊 把旅行的机会让给我
What a sweet guy to give up his trip for me.
他不该得到夸奖
He shouldn't get the credit for this.
这是我的主意
This was my idea.
他非常抗拒 但我说不
He pushed back pretty hard, but I said, "No,
我的克丽丝蒂需要这个
my Christy needs this""
我本来都信一半了 直到你说了"我的克丽丝蒂"
I half believed you until you said "My Christy."
是啊 我太贪心了
Yeah, I got greedy.
如果你不看帕特里克的Ins页面
You know, it'd be a lot easier for you to forget Patrick
你会更容易忘记他
if you got off his Instagram page.
我没在看他
I'm not looking at him.
我在看他给她的巨大戒指
I'm looking at the giant ring he gave her.
你觉得这是多少克拉
How many karats do you think that is?
我该看中间最大的钻石
Am I focusing on the massive one
还是周围拜祭它的小钻石
in the middle or the little ones worshipping it?
帮倒忙
Not helpful.
在我看来 某人在过度补偿
All it tells me is someone's overcompensating.
其实不是
Actually, no.
-他那方面挺厉害的 -真的吗
- He was pretty good in that department. u202d- Really?
他看起来像有个小叮当的男人
He looks like a guy who'd have a wee dingle.
小叮当
A wee dingle?
是的 就像小草莓刚露尖尖角
Yeah. Like a strawberry peeking up out of the leaves.
你看一眼男人就能看出来吗
You can tell by looking at a guy?
估算他们两眼间的距离 然后乘三
Measure the distance between their eyes, multiply by three.
如果我戴着会是这样的
This is what it would look like on me.
是的 但如果你收下戒指