极品老妈第五季第二十二集

Mom S05E22

Part2

2020年1月3日 22:00

Thanks, Mom.
你为我骄傲吗
Are you proud of me?
是的
Yes.
你为什么为我骄傲告诉我一个理由
Why? Why are you proud of me? Tell me a reason.
好的
Okay. Well...
你让自己的生活回到了正轨
you pulled your life out of the gutter,
你戒瘾了你要结婚了
you're sober, you're getting married,
不是因为你怀孕了
and not because you're pregnant
或要帮别人搞绿卡
or sneaking somebody into the country.
但那些事都没给我一顶搞笑帽子
But none of those things get me a funny hat.
当然给了新娘面纱也是搞笑帽子
Yes, it does. A wedding veil is a funny hat.
你说的对
You're right.
你知道我能做什么吗
Oh. You know what I could do?
我可以在里面粘一个假胡子
I could put on a fake mustache underneath,
这样当亚当在仪式上掀开面纱亲我时
so when Adam lifts it to kiss me at the ceremony,
他会说天啊我娶了一个三垒教练
he's like, "Oh! I'm marrying a third base coach!"
砰大热结婚视频
Bam! Viral wedding video.
很好我就指着这个了
Okay, great. This'll hold me.
妈妈长袍
Mom. The gown.
对对对
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
天啊我好想你
Oh, my God! I missed you so much.
谁是我的小可爱
Who's my little man?
谁是我的小可爱
Who's my little man?
你想我吗我想你
Did you miss me? I missed you.
我开始怀疑你更喜欢格斯了
I'm starting to wonder if you like Gus better.
千万别怀疑那是当然的
Oh, please don't wonder. I definitely do.
在我忘记之前这是克丽丝蒂这周的钱
Before I forget, here's Christy's payment for this week.
我们要一直这样做下去吗
Hey, do we got to keep on doing this?
克丽丝蒂基本算是亲人了
I mean, Christy's practically family,
对亲人就该这样
and this is what you do with family.
你给他们借钱他们永远不还
You know, you lend them money, they never pay you back,
然后他们买♥♥了贵东西
then you quietly resent them
你暗暗怨恨他们
when they buy something expensive.
但这情况不同
But this is a different situation.
说话算话对她戒瘾很重要
It's important for her sobriety that she's accountable.
好吧你说了算
Okay, okay. You're the boss.
但要永远这样吗
But is it always gonna be like this?
永远我说了算吗当然了
Me the boss? Absolutely.
不是这里永不止歇的混乱
No. This never-ending chaos around here.
-什么混乱 -保释金酒鬼朋友
- What chaos? - Bail money, drunk friends...
我不能去弟弟的婚礼
me not being allowed to go to my brother's wedding.
-你有选择的 -我有吗
- You had a choice. - Did I?
听着我想说的只是
Hey, listen, all I'm saying is,
我们什么时候才能有几天
are we ever gonna get to a point where we have a few days
没有危机你懂吗
where there's... just not a crisis, you know?
-平静到无聊 -嘘安静当帅哥吧
- That we're just bored. - Shh. Just be pretty.
在数钱卷呢
Ooh. Check out the pimp roll.
是的我告诉了顾客们一个卑微女服务员
Yeah. I told my customers the story of the lowly waitress
排除万难从大学毕业的故事
who defied the odds to graduate from college.
他们听得五体投地
They lapped it up like sweet cream.
是的人们很蠢
Yes, people are dumb.
你有没有考虑把这些钱投资在
Say, have you ever thought about investing that money
可靠的项目上
in a sure thing?
鲁迪我不会再在车后备箱
Rudy, I'm not selling fake Japanese knives
卖♥♥假日本刀了
out of the trunk of my car again.
我说的是快要开始的扑克比赛
I was talking about the poker game that's about to start.
天啊不
Oh, my God. No.
我需要这些钱还我赌博输掉的钱
I need this to pay back money I lost gambling.
是的但如果你赢了你可以更快还上钱
Yes, but if you win, you could pay it back faster.
不不我不能
No. No, I can't.
是真不能还是假不能
Is that a no or a "No"?
坚决不能
It's a hard no.
我学到教训了入场费多少钱
I've learned my lesson. What's the buy-in?
K同花顺
King-high flush.
你终于有好牌了
Well, finally you have a good hand.
很不幸我的牌更好满堂红
Unfortunately, mine is better. Full house.
不
No!
你每局打完都要这样吗
Must you do that after every hand?
保罗提醒我我们早上五点还有普拉提课
Ah. Paul reminds me that we have our 5:00 A.M. Pilates class.
不不不谁都不准走
No, no, no, no. No one is leaving.
我需要把钱赢回来
I need to win my money back.
毕竟我只是个卑微的女服务员
After all... I'm just a lowly waitress
排除万难从大学毕了业
who defied the odds to graduate from college.
我是从隧♥道♥爬到亚利桑那州的
I crawled through a tunnel to get into Arizona.
你在令自己难堪
You're embarrassing yourself.
好吧
Fine.
你说过我会赢
You told me I was gonna win.
你也说过我会赢
You told me I was gonna win.
谁能猜到呢我赚了一千五
And what do you know? I'm up $1,500.
鲁迪主厨要走了
Chef Rudy out.
上帝作证我会告诉所有人
So help me God, I will tell everyone
你的女仆团子是从好市多买♥♥的
your housemaid gnocchi is from Costco.
管他呢再来一局
What the hell, one more hand.
每个人都拿一杯气泡苹果汁
Everybody get some sparkling cider so we can toast
等毕业女孩来了方便敬酒
the graduation girl when she gets here.
你办了很棒的派对吉尔
You throw a nice party, Jill.
亲爱的我们应该在这里办婚礼吗
Honey, should we have our wedding here?
只要有惠灵顿嫩牛排就行
As long as the baby beef Wellington is part of the package.
这房♥6月2日有人订吗
Is this room booked next June 2nd?
如果找我当伴娘我们可以谈谈
If I'm the maid of honor, we can talk about it.
克丽丝蒂是谁
Christy who?
我没料到你会来
I didn't expect to see you here.
我还以为你不会和互助对象交朋友
I thought you didn't do the "Friends with sponsees" thing.
这是特殊场合而且我很生我老公的气
Well, it's a special occasion. And I'm mad at my husband.
克丽丝蒂来了克丽丝蒂来了
Christy's coming. Christy's coming.
大家按从高到矮排好队
Everybody line up tallest to smallest.
为什么这又不是《音乐之声》
Why? It's not The Sound of Music.
天啊谢谢你们
Oh. Oh, my God, you guys. Thanks.
我离开时他们没揪住我所以这事定了
Ah, they didn't tackle me before I left, so it's official.
我想祝酒
I'd like to propose a...
我想祝酒
I'd like to propose...
-你说吧 -不你说吧
- No, you go. - No, go ahead.
我来说吧这都是我花的钱
I'll go. I paid for everything.
敬克丽丝蒂
To Christy.
坐着烂座位很难看出
From the cheap seats, it was hard to tell
你比其他人都老了20岁
you were 20 years older than everybody else.
我觉得我们的意思是恭喜你
I think what we're all trying to say is congratulation
成为我们中第一个大学毕业生
on being our group's first college graduate.
我从大学毕业了
Well, I graduated from college.
-我也是 -我是个护士
- So did I. - I'm a nurse.
我有硕士学位
I have a master's.
耶鲁大学戏剧系
Yale School of Drama.
好吧今天没什么了不起的恭喜亲爱的
Fine, this day is no big deal. Congratulations, honey.
苹果汁和龙虾
Apple juice and lobster.
我感觉像是个有钱的五岁小孩
I feel like a rich five-year-old.
-演讲 -讲两句
- Speech! - Short speech.
没有我朋友们的支持
None of this could've happened
这一切都不可能发生
without the support of my friends.
我爱你们所有人
I love you all.
恭喜
Congratulations.
-谢谢 -嗯
- Oh. Thank you. - Mm-hmm.
没这必要的
This wasn't necessary.
每个大学毕业生都需要一支好钢笔
Well, every college graduate needs a nice pen.
你真的想让我记下自己做的错事啊
You really want me to write stuff down, don't you?
真漂亮谢谢
It's beautiful. Thank you.
很美很实用
It's lovely and practical.
给诺拉看看我们给你送了什么
Show Nora what we got you.
该死我就知道我忘了什么
Darn it. I knew I forgot something.
你忘了戴你唯一一对钻石耳环吗
You forgot to wear the only diamond earrings you've ever had?
我当时很紧张
I was nervous.
我害怕我会弄丢