我忙着跟穿棕色夹克衫的男人度蜜月
I was too busy being on my honeymoon with the guy in the brown jacket.
-你去了哪里 -毛伊岛
- Where'd you go? u202d- Maui.
酒店给了我们绣着我们名字的浴袍
The hotel gave us robes with our names on 'em.
抱歉 你是克丽丝蒂 对吧
Excuse me. Christy, right?
-是的 你好 -你好
- Oh, yeah. Hi. - u202dHi.
我是德里克 我想告诉你
I'm Derek. I just wanted to tell you,
-我很喜欢你的分享 -谢谢
- I really enjoyed your share. - u202dThanks.
我自己也在想要重新去上学
You know, I've been thinking about going back to school myself,
所以我觉得那鼓舞人心
so I found that really inspiring.
-我很高兴 -我是吉尔
- I'm glad. - u202dI'm Jill.
告诉我你为什么决定要读法律
Uh, so tell me why'd you decide to study law?
我戒瘾之前 我经常需要律师
Well, before I got sober, I frequently needed a lawyer,
所以我想着干脆取消中间人吧
so I figured, why not cut out the middleman.
而且我想做有价值的事 帮助别人
Also, I wanted to do something worthwhile, try to help people.
我也是 所以
Me, too. That's why
我每年圣诞节都给管家打肉毒杆菌
I give my housekeeper Botox every Christmas.
没人喜欢有皱纹的女佣
Nobody likes a wrinkly maid.
好吧 很棒
I see. It's terrific.
我之前没在互助会上见过你 对吧
Uh, I've never seen you at this meeting before, right?
我一般去离我家更近的互助会
I usually go to meetings closer to home.
她跟她妈妈一起住在破烂的地方
She lives in a nasty part of town with her mom.
听着
Well, listen, uh,
如果你还没喝太多咖啡
if you haven't already had too much coffee,
-不如我们去 -你认识那个穿棕色夹克的人吗
- why don't we go...? - Do you know the guy in the brown jacket?
-克丽丝蒂想嫁给他 -吉尔
- Christy wants to marry him. u202d- Jill!
-抱歉 我不认识 -等等
- Sorry, I don't. - Hang on.
-你什么毛病啊 -怎么了
- What the hell is wrong with you?! - u202dWhat?!
-你在埃里克面前让我出丑 -是德里克
- You're embarrassing me in front of Eric. - It's Derek.
我说了等等 我还以为你要帮我
I said hang on! I thought you were gonna help me.
我在努力啊 但现在你就是在当众大吵大闹了
Well, I'm trying, but now you're making a scene.
知道吗 我其实得
You know what? Uh, I actually have to go...
给我的互助对象打电♥话♥
call my sponsor.
真是谢了你了
Thank you so very much.
你什么毛病
What is your problem?
我是想让你和棕色夹克男去毛伊岛
I was trying to get you and Brown Jacket off to Maui.
忘了棕色夹克男吧 我本来跟埃里克有机会
Forget Brown Jacket! I had a shot at Eric.
-是德里克 -我不在乎
- It's Derek. - u202dI don't care!
你搞了破坏
You totally torpedoed me!
你为什么不直接告诉他我的两个孩子不是一个爹
Why didn't you just tell him my kids have two different dads?!
或者我曾是脱衣舞♥女♥
Or that I was a stripper?!
一会儿你会后悔莫及的
Oh, you are gonna kick yourself in a minute.
怎么样
Hey. How'd it go?
吉尔害我没能滚床单
Jill vag-blocked me.
亚当呢
Where's Adam?
亚当在休息
Adam's having a time out.
克丽丝蒂 她不把轮椅还给我
Christy, she won't give me back my chair!
我们有个小矛盾
We may have hit a rough patch.
所以你拿走了他的轮椅吗
So you took away his wheelchair?
你在干什么
What are you doing?
我在帮不能走路的男人
I'm helping the man who can't walk.
行啊 站他那边吧
Oh, sure. Take his side.
如果他得上厕所呢
What if he has to pee?
我是想
I do!
玛乔丽说得对 你得去互助会
Marjorie's right. You need to go to a meeting.
天啊 别说互助会了
Oh, my God, enough with the meetings!
重点并非一直都是互助会
It's not always about a meeting!
有时候重点是
Sometimes it's about two people
两个显然不该在一起的人
who clearly aren't meant to be together!
简直没法跟他生活
That man is impossible to live with!
他修剪指甲 看电视
He trims his nails, watches TV,
看手表 睡觉
he looks at his watch, sleeps!
我要怎么爱那样人
How am I supposed to love someone like that?!
-妈妈 -我知道 我需要去互助会
- Mom. - u202dI know! I need a meeting!
圣巴特有个晚间互助会 我来开车
There's a late one at St. Pat's. I'll drive.
行了 我受够了
That's it. I've had it.
你疯了
You're out of your freakin' mind, okay?
你说得对 我知道 对不起
You're right. I know. I am. I'm sorry.
我爱你 一小时后见
I love you. I'll see you in an hour.
等等 她刚做了什么
Wait. What...? What did she just...?
刚发生了什么
What just happened?
别担心 她回来后会判若两人
Don't worry. When she gets back, she'll be a different person.
过去一个小时里她已经变了三次脸了
She's been three different people in the last hour!
-你回来真是太好了 邦妮 -很高兴回来
- It's good to have you back, Bonnie. - It's good to be back.
我发现我和维克托是这样
You know I find with my Victor,
我去的互助会越多 我们的婚姻就更美好
the more meetings I go to, the better our marriage.
他肯定很高兴你不在
And I'm sure he appreciates your absence.
你回来真是太好了 邦妮
Good to have you back, Bonnie.
-你好像有点沉默 一切还好吗 -我没事
- You seem kind of quiet. Everything okay? - I'm fine.
-我也没事 -没人问你
- I'm fine, too. u202d- No one asked you.
我想尽办法帮你认识男人
Hey, I went out of my way to help you meet guys,
但你却一点也不感激
and you were nothing but ungrateful.
你根本没帮我做什么
You didn't help me do anything.
你嫉妒埃里克-德里克喜欢我而不是你
You were jealous that Eric-Derek liked me instead of you.
别自以为是了
Oh, get over yourself.
埃里克-德里克去追小老鼠
Eric-Derek went after the little mouse
是因为他知道自己追不到大老鼠
'cause he knew the big mouse was out of his league.
别告诉我埃里克-德里克的想法
Don't tell me what Eric-Derek was thinking.
你又不知道他的想法
You don't know what Eric-Derek was thinking.
-拜托 姑娘们 -别管了 让她们拌嘴吧
- Now, come on, ladies. u202d- No, let 'em punch themselves out.
埃里克-德里克是什么名字
What kind of name is Eric-Derek?
面对现实吧 你是个很烂的朋友
Just face it-- you suck as a friend
因为你会被别的女人威胁到
'cause you're threatened by other women.
我才没有
I am not!
拜托 姐♥妹♥们♥
Come on, ladies.
帮帮我
Get my back here, right?
瞧 她们同意我的说法
See? They're with me.
知道吗
And you know what?
如果我真的对女人有敌意 那也不是我的错
If I do have issues with women, it's not my fault.
她们这辈子都让我失望
All my life, they've let me down.
-来了 -真的
- Here we go. - It's true.
我最需要我妈时 她自杀了
My mother killed herself just when I needed her most.
我的心理医生嫁给了我爸爸
My therapist married my dad.
我的管家会刻薄地模仿我
And my housekeeper does a really unflattering impression of me.
那是什么样的
What does that sound like?
就是我 不过像南方人 而且很蠢
Me, but Southern and stupid.
抱歉 但我从未让你失望过
Excuse me, but I never let you down.
你说得对
You're right.
你说得对 抱歉我被自我冲昏了头脑
You're right. I'm sorry I let my ego get the best of me.
但问题是
But the thing is...
别说了
Stop!
别找借口 直接说对不起
Leave out the excuses and just say you're sorry.
对不起
I'm sorry.
好
Okay.
我原谅你
I forgive you.
谢谢
Thanks.
准备好了就付钱吧
Whenever you're ready.
别把账单给她 亲爱的 她没钱
Oh, don't leave her the check, honey. She's poor.
我又这样做了 对吧
Ugh. I just did it again, didn't I?