What the hell is your problem?!
I'll tell you what my problem is!
My problem is you're crazy!
Call me crazy one more time!
- Don't do it. - You're crazy!
I can't even look at your face right now!
- Get out! - Fine by me.
Oh, that is so you,
running away from a fight!
You just told me to leave, psycho!
How you managed to climb out of that swamp of madness
I will never know,
but you are a straight-up American hero.
I, on the other hand, am a coward,
so... best of luck.
I liked that one.
Oh... you broke the remote?
You couldn't throw the ugly candy dish Marjorie gave us?
That wasn't it.
That's the one.
Do you think I'm sexy?
There's really no healthy way to answer that question.
Okay, fine, I'll put it another way.
Would you need to get high to go to bed with me?
Way to make it creepier, Mom.
It's Adam's last night here,
I wanted to do something special.
我给他做了晚餐 点了蜡烛 我穿上了这个
I made him dinner, I lit candles, I wore this.
You know how he prepared?
He snuck outside and smoked a joint.
So? When you were getting high,
you'd get loaded before you had sex.
Exactly. So I could tolerate whatever loser
was crawling around on top of me.
So you think with Adam...
I'm the loser.
Oh, Mom, that's not true.
Then give me another explanation.
Wait, let's go back to the losers crawling on top of you.
- Why would you... - It was called the '80s,
Christy. Look it up.
Want some scrambled eggs?
You're in a good mood.
Did you work things out with Adam?
I did not.
Nor shall I.
Yeah. You okay?
I am. I expressed my anger last night,
I have now moved on.
You sound surprised.
u202dWell, traditionally when you're upset with someone
we get a visit from the cops.
Well, maybe I've grown.
Maybe sobriety has made me
a kinder, gentler woman.
Here you go.
见鬼 温迪 都说了40遍了
Damn it, Wendy, for the 40th time,
I don't want to join your professional network on LinkedIn!
Let me get you some O.J.
I think we're out.
Son of a bitch!
大家好 我是吉尔 我是酒瘾者
Hi, I'm Jill. I'm an alcoholic.
So, I've been having a rough couple of days.
My ex-husband and his fiancée just had their baby.
They sent out announcements.
Not to me of course.
I just happened to stumble over it on Facebook
using my housekeeper's account.
Her name's Penelope.
The baby, not my housekeeper.
She's really cute.
Which just twists the knife.
So, I guess it's official.
He's not coming back.
He's not, right?
Yeah, I know.
Anyway, I'm grateful to be sober.
And sorry Soledad wrote that really mean comment
about the baby's melon head. Thank you.
Okay, who else would like to share?
I thought maybe you'd like to share what's going on with you.
No, I would not.
If you don't, I'll tell Marjorie
- about the candy dish. - What?
Let's see, where should I start?
Ah, here's a good place.
Not just some men, all men.
Across the board.
If there were a man here,
I'd punch him smack-dab in the penis.
Seriously, why do we need them?
To kill a spider? Get a can of Raid.
Want a baby? Turkey baster.
So, that's it. Bug spray and turkey basters.
Probably in the same aisle at the supermarket.
你们懂我的话 对吗 兄弟们
You're feelin' me, right, dawgs?
Born gay? More like born smart.
Anyway, thanks for letting me share.
Okay, who'd like to go next?
Hi, I'm Susie. I'm an alcoholic.
And for the record, I'm not gay.
Neither am I.
Have you thought about it?
I think you might be taking this too personally, Bonnie.
When I used to get high at concerts,
it didn't mean I didn't like the band.
But the drugs did get you through the drum solo.
Yeah, well, no one should need artificial stimulants
to get through the Bonnie Plunkett Trio.
Don't forget your mouth. It's a quartet.
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