Enough! Go to your room.
Well, this is a nightmare.
That it is.
I don't know what to do.
Well, we know grounding him isn't gonna work.
Remember when you grounded me for smoking weed at his age?
Yeah. Hard to do when you're living in a car.
You sent me to the backseat to think about what I'd done.
Okay, but at least now we're both in recovery
and we have tools to deal with this.
What are those tools, Mom?
I don't know, sometimes I just say things.
Well, I am proud to announce
I now have the longest sobriety
of anyone in my family,
including my 12-year-old son.
There's something for the Christmas letter.
Where'd Roscoe get the pot?
He says from a kid at school,
but I'm still not sure I believe him.
That's where I got my first joint.
He could roll them with one hand.
What's so special about that?
He only had one hand.
I just can't believe this is happening.
He's only in seventh grade.
Hmm, that's how old I was.
I stole one of my mother's Valium,
washed it down with my mother's vodka
and threw up on my mom's poodle.
Did you get in a lot of trouble?
没有 她迷迷糊糊的 还以为是自己做的
No, she was so out of it, she thought she did it.
I smoked my first joint when I was 14,
but I had already done acid and mushrooms by then,
so, you know, weed, whoop-de-do.
Christy, I understand why you're worried,
but this doesn't mean Roscoe's going down
the same road as the rest of us.
It doesn't mean he's not.
Well, the only thing you can do right now
is make it safe for him to talk to you.
Hey, don't put this on me!
My son knows he can talk to me anytime!
I've worked my ass off to be supportive
and easy to open up to!
And you all thought I was the crazy one.
You went online, you read all the reviews,
but here's something they don't tell you about Korean cars...
no one'll ever steal it.
Got a minute?
Make a minute.
I'll be right back.
Sit inside and enjoy how a nation of short people
built a car with surprisingly ample head room.
So... what's going on?
What the hell do you think is going on?!
I'm guessing the pot thing with Roscoe?
Okay, I'm locking it in.
That's my final answer.
Look, I didn't want to do this in front of Candace
'cause, frankly, I don't want to do anything in front of Candace,
but you got to level with me.
Christy, it was not my pot.
You do know what "Level with me" means, right?
It means stop lying.
I told you, I stopped smoking
'cause of my low sperm count!
I've known you for 15 years.
The longest you've ever gone without smoking pot
was when we went to Disney World with your parents.
Oh, I got high at Disney World.
How do you not get high at Disney World?
And now I'm supposed to believe
there's no weed in your house?
Yes, because I told you there isn't.
Look... I know this is a hot button for you
and it would make your life a lot easier
if I was the one that screwed up, but I didn't.
I'm so sad.
But let's remember Roscoe's a good kid
and he made one mistake.
是啊 我也是个好孩子 不过是24年来
Yeah, well, I was a good kid who made one mistake
every day for 24 years.
But you didn't have a mom like you.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I've said nicer things,
you were just too drunk to remember.
So you and Candace are trying to get pregnant?
是啊 她在服用激素 检查体温
Yeah, she's taking hormones, checking her temperature.
We always have to do it in a certain position.
My fault, I asked.
See you later.
You think that's bad,
she's having me wear boxers to keep my balls cool.
- Got enough chocolate sauce? u202d- Yup.
- You want more sprinkles? u202d- Yup.
- Do you know where your dad hides his pot? u202d- Yup.
So it was your dad's joint you were smoking?
Why'd you cover for him?
I don't know. He's my dad.
真有爱 很蠢 但很有爱
That's sweet. Stupid but sweet.
Please don't tell Mom.
Hey, who taught you never to be a snitch?
- I'm home. - u202dHe got the pot from Baxter!
Another lesson-- never trust anybody.
大家好 我是克丽丝蒂 我是酒瘾者
Hi. I'm Christy. I'm an alcoholic.
As you can see, I brought my son tonight.
Don't look at him.
He'll know I'm talking about him.
Normally I'd leave him home
to watch television, but
I just don't trust him right now.
Oh, look, a Pokémon!
Anyway, he got caught smoking a joint at my ex's house.