-早上好 -好个屁
- Good morning. u202d- Bite me.
你哪根筋不对
What's your problem?
是这样的
Okay, here's the thing.
我很高兴你找到真爱
I am so happy you found love,
我也很高兴亚当感觉很自在
and I'm glad Adam feels comfortable enough
愿意在这里过夜
to spend the night here.
但你得知道 你们做的一切我都能听到
But you got to know, I can hear every thing you do
整整一晚
all freakin' night long.
一切吗
Everything?
对 打屁屁的笨蛋 所有都听到了
Yes, you ass-slapping fool, everything.
真是对不起
I'm so sorry.
要记住 咱家的墙很薄
Just keep in mind that our apartment has thin walls
你女儿的医保中不包括心理治疗
and your daughter's insurance doesn't cover therapy.
你有戴我给你准备的噪音消除耳机吗
Did you try the noise-canceling headphones I got you?
收到就戴了
Oh, yeah, right away.
对飞机和垃圾车的嗓音都管用
And they're great for airplanes and garbage trucks,
但是无法匹敌我妈大声宣布
but no match for my mother announcing
她不乖 需要吃药
that she's been a bad girl and needs to take her medicine.
公平来讲 我相当淘气
To be fair, I was pretty naughty.
提醒一下 我在等你们
Just so you know, I'm waiting for you guys
结束这个话题 我才能来喝咖啡
to wrap this up so I can get some coffee.
老天 进来吧
Oh, God, get in here.
抱歉让你听到这些
Sorry you had to hear all that.
彼此彼此
Right back at you.
不不 这样很好
No, no, no, no, this is good.
我们都是成年人 我们可以就身体之爱进行交谈
We're all adults, we can have a conversation about physical love
还有随之发生的
and the noises that...
嗓音
ensue.
不如我们说我们会保持安静 忘了这事
How about we just say we'll be quiet and move on?
-谢谢 -改变话题
- Thank you. - Changing the subject.
-快 -你周末有安排吗
- Please. - You got plans this weekend?
图书馆性♥爱♥ 怎么了
Just library sex, why?
我朋友米奇和他老婆来纳帕了
My friend Mitch and his wife are coming up to Napa.
我想也是时候我最好的兄弟见见我最爱的女人
I was thinking it's about time my best buddy met my best girl.
真不错 你安排
That sounds great, set it up.
好
All right.
你之前参与的电影 是他导演的吗
Is this the Mitch who directed the movie you worked on?
是 但我们早就认识了
Yeah, but we go way back.
他是最像我兄弟的人
He's the closest thing I have to a brother.
话里有话 因为你本来就有兄弟
Well, that's saying something 'cause you have a brother.
我给他打电♥话♥
I'm gonna call him.
你会喜欢他的
You're gonna love him.
和死党见面 很认真哦
Meeting the best friend, that's serious.
我知道 我有点紧张
I know. I'm a little nervous.
你应该紧张 如果这死党不喜欢你
You should be; if the best friend doesn't like you,
你就要去过自己打屁屁的日子了
you're back to slapping your own ass.
极品老妈 第四季第九集
我也想把水晶杯具借你
I'd lend you my crystal stemware,
但恐怕在你家
but I'm afraid in your apartment
看上去会像是偷来的
it would just look stolen.
除了芝士火锅外
Besides fondue,
你还打算上些什么菜
what are you planning on serving these people?
我不知道 克丽丝蒂
I don't know. Christy?
要看餐厅里扔掉些什么
Depends on what they're throwing away at the restaurant.
你看起来没准备好
You don't seem really prepared for this.
我没有 我交过的男友中
I'm not; I've never had a boyfriend
没一个要把我介绍给任何人的
who wanted to introduce me to anybody.
甚至在3P过程中都不介绍
Not even during a three-way.
我有个男友曾把我介绍给他的死党
I had a boyfriend introduce me to his best friend,
然后他们结婚了
then he married him.
你们需要面包机吗 我有三台
Do you need a bread maker? I've got three.
我没打算做面包
I wasn't gonna make bread.
他们会指望我做面包吗
Do they expect me to make bread?
否则用什么蘸芝士火锅
What are you gonna dip in the fondue?
我打算买♥♥面包的
I was just gonna buy bread.
邦妮 他们来自好莱坞
Bonnie, these are Hollywood people.
他们不会吃袋装的面包
They are not gonna eat bread out of a bag.
知道吗 压力太大了
You know what, this is too much pressure.
我要和亚当分手
I'm just gonna break up with Adam.
淡定 我相信你可以扮好人
Relax, I'm sure you can pretend to be a good person
一直扮到他们喜欢你
long enough for them to like you.
如果和朋友相处融洽
And if it goes well with the friends,
他可能会带你见家长
he'll probably want to introduce you to his parents.
真有意思
That'll be fun.
妈 爸
"Mom, Dad,
这是我女友邦妮
"I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Bonnie.
她戒酒一年半了
"She's sober a year and a half,
但你们还是要把感冒药藏起来
but you still might want to hide the Nyquil"
我相当期待你坠入爱河的那一天
I look forward to when you fall in love.
我的计划是等你死了再说
My plan is to wait till you're dead.
瞧瞧
Whoa, look at that.
-亲爱的 太棒了 -谢谢
- Baby, this is awesome. - Thank you.
吉尔说桌上卖♥♥相最重要的就是层次
Jill said presentation is all about levels.
看 装橄榄核的水晶碗
And check this out, a crystal bowl for the olive pits,
这样不用吐在手中
so you don't have to spit 'em in your hand.
那中间的是什么
What's that thing in the middle?
芝士火锅 你也许听过
Fondue, or as you might know it,
热芝士
hot cheese.
瞧 玛莎·斯图尔特[家政女王]
Hey, look, it's Martha Stewart.
我们都坐过牢
We have both been in jail.
老天 请别告诉他们
Oh, God, please don't tell them that.
除非他们觉得蹲监狱很酷
Unless they'd think it's cool.
别担心
Oh, don't worry about it,
米奇和琳恩只是普通人
Mitch and Leanne are just regular people.
你们有什么安排
So what are your plans?
我们等下要去一些酒庄
Well, we're gonna hit a couple of wineries,
然后去吃晚餐
and then we're going out for dinner.
品酒会 对你来说会很有意思
Wine tasting-- that ought to be fun for you.
我有手游
I have games on my phone.
他们到了
That's them.
我差点忘了 见到琳恩行曲膝礼
Oh, I almost forgot, curtsy when you meet Leanne,
-她是英国皇室 -什么
- she's British royalty. - What?
我耍你的 她是来自水牛城的化妆师
I'm screwing with you; she's a makeup girl from Buffalo.
不好笑
Not funny.
你应该让她行礼的
You should've made her curtsy.
欢迎 我是邦妮
Hi, welcome. Bonnie.
我是米奇 这是琳恩
I'm Mitch, this is Leanne.
非常感谢你邀请我们
Thank you so much for having us.
我的荣幸 请进
My pleasure. Please come in.
阴囊教授
Yo, Professor Nutsack!
臭鸡麻
Stinky Dickweed!
好吗 伙计
How are you, my man?
是不是很庆幸做了面包
Aren't you glad you made bread?
琳恩 米奇 这是我女儿克丽丝蒂
Leanne, Mitch, this is my daughter Christy.
你好 克丽丝蒂
Hi, Christy. u202d
很高兴见到你们 抱歉我必须得出门了
Nice to meet you both. I'm sorry I have to go,
我要上课 还有工作
I have a class and then work.
-你做什么工作 -我是"乡村无花果"的服务员
- What do you do? - u202dI'm a waitress at the Rustic Fig.
我们听说过那地方
Oh, we heard about that place.
想去尝尝那里的菜
We wanted to eat there.
马上就能尝到了
You're about to.
该走了
Time to go.
-拜 -拜
- Bye.- u202dBye.
她看起来真是个可人
Oh, she seems sweet.
各位请坐
Please, everybody sit down.
我们给你买♥♥了点小礼物
Okay-- oh, we-we brought you a little gift.
谢谢
Thank you.
亚当说你不喝酒了
Adam said you don't drink anymore,
但有客人来能用得上
but it's good when you have company.
比如说现在
Like now.
-对 -你不一定要打开