极品老妈第四季第九集

Mom S04E09

Part3

2020年1月3日 22:26

I'm sorry, what?
他有腿的时候床技一流
He was incredible back when he had legs.
很抱歉
Oh, I'm... Oh, I'm sorry.
我不想我不是那意思
I don't want... I didn't mean that.
当然他现在还有腿但是
I mean, of course he still has legs, but, you know...
你跟亚当睡过吗
You slept with Adam?
天啊这一晚会结束吗
Dear Lord, will this night ever end?
-回答我 -冷静点
- Answer me. - u202dCalm down.
那时候我还没遇见米奇
It was a long time ago before I met Mitch,
我们只做了20次
and we only did it, like, t... t... 20 times.
我还以为你要说两次
Really thought you were gonna say two.
你们是情侣吗
So, you were a couple?
不是
No, oh, no!
不是只是原始的性♥爱♥
No, no, it was just that kind of raw kind of sex.
当你坐在马桶上
You know, the kind you think about
抽烟时想到的那种
when you're on the toilet having a cigarette.
各位这很重要各位这很重要
Hey, guys, this is important. Guys, this is important, listen.
米奇不知道我们得保密
Mitch doesn't know, so we just have to keep it between us.
旅行老二的姐妹会
You know... sisterhood of the traveling penis.
我不知道你总是抱怨什么
I don't know what you're always whining about.
这玩意儿太棒了
This thing is awesome.
食物来了
Food's here.
终于
Oh, finally.
亲爱的你知道
Hey, baby, did you know
拐角处的贩酒店
that the liquor store down on the corner,
还送外卖♥♥吗
that it delivers?
吃你的汉堡吧鸡麻
Just eat your burger, Dickweed.
过来谈谈
Huddle.
我不想谈
Ugh, I don't want to huddle.
让我睡吧
Just let me go to sleep.
怎么你觉得现在自己太美不能谈了吗
What? You think you're too pretty to huddle now?
快过来
Get in there.
我很漂亮对吧
I am pretty, aren't I?
你为什么没给我买♥♥伏特加
Why didn't you get me any vodka?
你为什么不给我24岁的大胸亚洲妞
Why didn't you get me a 24-year-old Asian girl with big boobs?
你这话很伤人的
Hey, words hurt.
我开玩笑的
Just kidding.
我爱你
Ah, I love you.
你的胸很棒
And you have perfect boobs.
你也是
You, too.
就这样
That right there.
这就是婚姻成功的秘诀
That's how you make a marriage work.
谢谢哥们
Thanks, buddy.
我们在哪
Where are we?
抱歉我就是无法理解
I'm sorry, I just can't wrap my head around it.
20次
20 times?
她可能夸张了
She's probably exaggerating.
聊到性♥爱♥时
When it comes to sex,
女人会说少克丽丝蒂不是说多
women round down, Christy, not up.
-是吗 -你不是吗
- We do? - You don't?
我之前不是但我现在会了
I didn't, but I will now.
我不确定该如何处理
I'm not sure how to handle it.
没什么好处理的都过去了
There's nothing to handle. It's in the past.
不就在我的卧室
No, it's in my living room,
更重要的是他没告诉我
and more important, he didn't tell me.
那你要跟他对质吗
So, what, you're gonna confront him?
我还以为今晚的目的
I thought the whole idea of this evening
就是为了让他的朋友们喜欢你
was to make his friends like you.
那是我把魔鬼蛋放在架子上时的想法
That's when I was putting deviled eggs on levels.
我该直接拿个狗碗出来
I should've just put out a dog bowl.
亚当我们该谈谈了
Okay, Adam, it's time you and I have a talk.
真好
Oh, lovely.
放在头下面
Under the head, under the head.
阴囊夫妇呢
Where's Lord and Lady Nutsack?
也许和肝脏在玩踢球游戏
Probably playing kickball with their livers.
来亲爱的我们拍部三♥级♥片♥
Come on, baby, let's make a dirty movie.
好转过身放松
Okay, okay, turn around and try to relax.
墙壁很薄我现在懂了
Thin walls. I get it now.
我们得烧了那张床
We're gonna have to burn that bed.
刚发生了什么
What just happened?
我不知道听起来是坏事
I don't know. That sounded bad.
我想我们该去看看他们是否没事
I guess we should go see if they're okay.
或者我们离开这里去别的地方重建生活
Or we just leave and rebuild our lives elsewhere.
有人吗
Hello?
真悲哀
Well, this is just sad.
太醉了没法做♥爱♥吗
Remember being too drunk to have sex? u202d
这是你是独女的主要原因
It's the main reason you're an only child.
我们要怎么做
So, what do we do?
帮他们侧身躺着心怀感恩
Roll them on their sides and be grateful
我们不再过这种生活了
we don't live like this anymore.
太感恩了
So very grateful.
天啊是他还是她
Oh, God, was that him or her?
这还重要吗
Does it really matter?
妈妈
Mom?
怎么了
Yes?
-什么 -什么情况
- What? - u202dWhat the hell?!
我在找卫生间
Ah, I was... I was looking for the bathroom.
我可不是
Well, I'm not it!
没有伤害就没有犯规
Well, okay, no harm, no foul.
卫生间在哪里
Dónde está el baño?
怎么了
What is going on?
米奇你去哪里了
Mitch, where'd you go?
来了我的床上
Into my bed!
你这个老混♥蛋♥
You miserable bastard.
拜托这是无心之失
Come on, it was an honest mistake.
你在厨房♥摸我屁♥股♥时
When you grabbed my ass in the kitchen,
那也是无心之失吗
was that an honest mistake?
一个人可以犯不止一个无心之失
Well, a person can make more than one honest mistake.
你摸了她的屁♥股♥吗
You grabbed her ass?
两只手都摸了
With both hands.
该死米奇
Damn it, Mitch.
拜托
Come on.
为什么大家都在喊
Why is everybody yelling?
你最好的朋友想上我女儿的床
Your best friend just tried to get in bed with my daughter.
什么不那不对
What? No, no, that can't be right.
虽然已经过了18个月11天
It may have been 18 months and 11 days,
但有男人上我的床我还是知道的
but I know when a man is in bed with me.
这全是你的错
This is all your fault.
我的错
My fault?!
你邀请了这些动物园里的动物来我家
You invited these zoo animals into my home,
而且你从没告诉我
and you never told me
你睡过这只猴子
you slept with this monkey.
大概有20次
Approximately 20 times.
什么
What?
猴子
Monkey?
你不觉得你该告诉我这种事吗
You-You didn't think that was something you should tell me?
那
I-I... it's...
你搞了我老婆吗
You porked my wife?!
我不会用那个词
I wouldn't use that word.
我会
I would.
但那是在我们认识之前
But that was before we got together.
我们现在结婚了而你在咸猪手吗
We're married now, and you're playing hump the hostesses-es?
等等
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
等等你
Wait a minute, you...
你挑逗了邦妮吗
you hit on Bonnie?
那没什么只是在胡闹
It was nothing. Yeah, it was just joking around.
是我的坏手做的
It was, it was, you know, my bad hand bit.
她不懂
She didn't get it.
你对我女人上了坏手吗
You did bad hand on my woman?
还有好手
And good hand.
好手是新梗