极品老妈第四季第十七集

Mom S04E17

Part2

2020年1月3日 22:30

Siri, what is black mold?
怎么样
What do you think?
这表示有趣的养母吗
Does this say fun foster mom?
这表示王子死了我只得到顶烂帽子
It says Prince died and all I got was this lousy hat.
这不是你的风格
It's not really you.
现在呢
What about now?
取下帽子吉尔
Take the hat off, Jill.
老天
Oh, God.
现在事情要成真了
Now that this thing is starting to get real,
我完全慌了
I'm totally freaking out.
我甚至不知道她应该叫我什么
I don't even know what she should call me.
我不是她妈妈吉尔听起来太亲密
I mean, I'm not her mom, "Jill" Sounds too familiar,
"吉尔妈妈"听起来像妓院老鸨
and "Mama Jill" Sounds like I run a whorehouse.
你曾是个养女
You were a foster kid.
你怎么称呼收养你的人
What'd you call the people who took you in?
不幸
Unlucky.
你在哪见这个女孩
So, where are you meeting this girl?
我的社工会带她去酒馆
My caseworker's bringing her to the bistro.
这就像我人生中最恐怖的第一次约会
It's like the scariest first date of my life
而我可是和丹尼斯·罗德曼约过会的人
and I went out with Dennis Rodman.
性丑闻缠身的前NBA球星
好吧我们迟早要好好唠唠那事
Okay, we need to come back to that eventually.
但是今天放松就好
But, for today, just relax.
谈谈衣服和男孩
Talk about clothes and boys.
你最擅长了
It's your wheelhouse.
从很多方面来说你就是一个14岁女孩
In a lot of ways, you are a 14-year-old girl.
你总是知道该说什么话
You always know just what to say.
租户对你表现的评估怎么样了
So, how's it going with all the tenants evaluating your performance?
你觉得呢克丽丝蒂
How do you think it's going, Christy?
抱歉
Sorry.
但从好的一面说
Yeah. On the plus side,
我对自己有了很多了解
I have learned a lot about myself.
真的吗比如什么
Really? Like what?
显然你妈妈总是激怒别人
Well, apparently, your mother rubs people the wrong way.
不是吧
No.
我也很惊讶
I was surprised, too.
然后我读到了几个报告
Then, I read some of the reports.
她们让你看了吗
They let you see them?
我用蒸汽熏开了几个信封
I may have steamed open a couple envelopes.
听好了
And get this:
人们形容我"懒惰不值得信任"
people described me as "Lazy, untrustworthy,"
其中比较难忘的一句是
and in one memorable instance,
"一根长头发的没用扫帚"
"A useless broomstick with hair."
有个房♥客说你是我的宠物鼠
Hey, one tenant called you my pet mouse.
太刻薄了我什么都没做
That's so mean, I didn't do anything.
别吱声了
Oh, stop squeaking.
那会发生什么
So, what's gonna happen?
如果你丢掉工作我们就会失去公♥寓♥
If you lose this job, we lose the apartment.
谢谢我好不容易才忘了几分钟
Thanks, I'd actually forgotten that for a couple of minutes.
等等
Hang on.
Siri 提醒我在回家路上买♥♥老鼠夹
Siri, remind me to pick up mousetraps on the way home.
怎么了
What?
"长头发的扫帚"
"Broomstick with hair."
是吉尔
It's Jill.
你要接吗
Are you gonna answer it?
我不得不接
Kind of have to.
你好
Hi.
我只想再次感谢你们
I just want to thank you guys again
来这里陪我
for being here with me.
她感谢我们来这里
She's thanking us for being here.
我能听见她
I can hear her.
你们确定不想过来一起坐吗
You sure you don't want to sit with us?
你没事的如果你需要我们就在旁边
You'll be fine. We're right here if you need us.
天啊她们来了
Oh, my God, they're here.
记住男孩和购物
Just remember, boys and shopping.
或者香烟和偷窃
Or cigarettes and shoplifting.
芭芭拉
Hi, Barbara.
艾米莉我是吉尔你叫什么
Hey, Emily, I'm Jill. What's your name?
艾米莉
Emily.
当然了对不起
Right, of course, sorry.
请坐
Uh, please, sit.
我有点紧张这是我第一次...
I'm a little nervous. This is my first...
做这种事
whatever this is.
我不是
Not mine.
艾米莉在寄养系统里待了挺长时间
Emily's been in the foster system for quite some time now.
太好了你喜欢吗
Terrific. How do you like it?
等等我给你准备了一顶帽子
Hang on, I have a hat for you.
别给帽子
Oh, not the hat.
那么介绍一下你自己吧你喜欢做什么
So, tell me about yourself. What do you like to do?
我不知道画画读书吧比如图画小说吧
Um, I don't know, draw and read, like, graphic novels.
图画你是说小黄书吗
Graphic? Like dirty books?
不图画小说基本上就是漫画
No. Uh, graphic novels are basically comic books,
也许更复杂世故一点
maybe a little more sophisticated.
我在你这么大时读过《阿奇》
Oh, I read Archie when I was your age.
贝蒂和维罗妮卡他会选谁呢
Betty or Veronica, who's he gonna choose?
《阿奇》是一本讲年轻人的漫画
Archie was a comic book about teenagers.
还有他们面临的挑战性难题
And the challenging problems they face,
比如"我应该带谁去舞会"
like "Who am I gonna take to the prom?"
你为什么不告诉她你在写的图画小说
Why don't you tell her about the graphic novel you're working on.
基本上是个世界末日后启示录故事
It's kind of a post-apocalyptic doomsday story.
真棒里面有舞会吗
Oh, neat. Is there a prom in it?
那女孩不会选我的
Oh, that girl's not gonna pick me.
我看的《单身汉》足够多知道我得不到玫瑰
I've watched The Bachelor enough to know I'm not getting a rose.
拜托总是有希望的
Ah, come on, there's always hope.
我们在现场没玫瑰
We were there. No rose.
和这个年轻女士没成功又怎样
So, it didn't work out with this young lady.
你可以吸取教训用来进步
You'll take what you learned and use it moving forward.
是啊我下次希望是个婴儿
Yeah, well, I'm hoping for a baby next time.
婴儿不喜欢我的时候
When babies don't like you,
会礼貌地不表现出来
they have the decency to keep it to themselves.
别那么肯定
Don't be so sure.
这家伙的第一句话是"离我远点"
This one's first words were, "Leave me alone."
我记得是"爱我"
I think it was, "Love me,"
但你听到的是这话发人深思
but it's interesting that's what you heard.
芭芭拉
Hey, Barbara.
听着我知道不是很顺利
Listen, I know that didn't go well,
但是我会吸取经验
but I am gonna take what I learned
用来进步
and use it moving forward.
抱歉你说什么
I'm sorry, what?
艾米莉选了我
Emily picked me!
我是吉尔妈妈啦
Mama Jill's in the house!
-好样的 -恭喜
- Way to go. - u202dCongratulations.
好是我去接她还是你们送货上门
Okay, so, do I come pick her up or do you guys deliver?
老天她以为在网购呢
Dear God, she thinks this is Amazon Prime.
是的很好一会儿见
Oh. Yeah, that's great. See you soon.
我必须走了
I got to go.
他们两个小时后送她来
They're dropping her off in two hours.
妈妈咪呀真的是网购
Son of a bitch, it is Amazon Prime.
这是什么
What's this?
B计划
Plan B.
我在为所有租户烤我出名的香蕉蛋糕
I'm baking my famous banana bread for all the tenants.
出名是因为你在里面放了浓缩大♥麻♥
It was only famous 'cause you put hash in it.
A计划是什么
What was plan A?
好好完成我的工作但那需要一台时光机
Doing my job, but I'd need a time machine for that.
你认为香蕉蛋糕能改变人们的主意吗
You think banana bread's gonna change people's minds?
不香蕉蛋糕是敲门砖
No, banana bread gets me in the door
然后我会用我的天生魅力
then I win them over with my natural charm
和催眠大♥法♥征服他们
and mastery of hypnosis.
天啊我们又要搬家了
Oh, God, we're moving again.
是的也许吧
Yeah, maybe.
你去哪里
Where are you going?