极品老妈第四季第十八集

Mom S04E18

Part2

2020年1月3日 22:30

and... Oh, my God, you're not gonna believe what I found.
如果是死猫别说真话
If it's a dead cat, lie to me.
是一大袋现金看
It's a big bag of cash. Look!
如果是死猫我会杀了你
If it's a dead cat, I am gonna kill you.
真的是一大袋现金
No, it really is a big bag of cash!
妈咪我就知道你会照顾我的
Oh, Mommy, I knew you were looking out for me!
我这边有2438块
I've got $2,438.
你呢
You?
我这边有673块
I got $673.
-你不是吧 -对不起
- Really? - Sorry.
习惯了 3084块
Old habit. $3,084.
我的天
Oh, my God.
加在一起就是
Altogether, that's, um...
算上6
Carry the six...
就说我们有五千到六千吧
Let's just say we have between five and six grand.
-我们吗 -对我们
- We? - Yeah, we.
我不是有心压你一头但她是我妈
I don't mean to pull rank here, but she was my mother.
如果不是我把你拉到这里来
You wouldn't even know about the money
你根本不知道钱的存在
if I hadn't dragged you down here.
你只是来偷她烤箱拿去卖♥♥的
You just came so you could fence her toaster.
我们还是要那样做
We're still doing that.
走吧抱上盒子我拿现金
Come on, grab the boxes, I'll take the cash.
想得美
Nice try.
我们走吧
Let's just go.
挺悲哀的
It's kind of sad.
她活了一辈子拥有的东西只有
The woman lived her whole life, and all she had to show for it
一些廉价物和一小叠钱
were a few tchotchkes and a wad of cash.
还有我
And me.
我把你算作廉价物了
I was including you as a tchotchke.
你们是谁
Who are you?
你是谁
Who are you?
这是我妈妈家
This is my mother's place.
天啊
Oh, my God.
我们不会清理错公♥寓♥了吧
Have we been cleaning out the wrong apartment?
你妈妈是谁
Who exactly is your mother?
雪莉·斯特布勒
Shirley Stabler.
外婆突然变得有趣多了
Grandma just got a lot more interesting.
别急我知道这种骗局
Not so fast. I know this hustle.
-什么骗局 -你查查讣告
- What hustle? - You scan the obits,
发现一个死去的老女人
find out about an old lady that's dead,
来到她公♥寓♥ 宣称是她亲属
show up to her apartment claiming to be a relative.
谁会那样做啊
Who does that?
我就做过
I've done it.
对每次都成功
Yeah. It works every time.
除非你漏出了马脚我妈妈是白人
Except when you get sloppy. My mother was white.
我妈妈也是
So was mine.
你看看
Look, here.
这是我妈妈和爸爸
This is my mother with my father.
外婆和黑人男子在一起
There's Grandma with a black man.
抱歉这很奇怪
I'm sorry. That was weird.
我不知道我为什么耳语
I don't know why I whispered.
我们有黑人朋友的
We have black friends.
抱歉我需要一些证据女士...
I'm sorry, I'm gonna need some proof, Miss...?
你先拿出证据
You first.
雷·斯特布勒
Ray Stabler.
-邦妮·普兰科特 -克丽丝蒂·普兰科特
- Bonnie Plunkett. - Christy Plunkett.
很不幸我能给你看的唯一证据
Unfortunately, the only proof I can show you is a picture
是她在我四岁时遗弃我的那个消防站的照片
of the fire station she dumped me at when I was four.
这是律师发我们的电邮
Here's the e-mail we got from a lawyer.
这太疯狂了
This is crazy.
你是说你是我姐姐吗
Are you saying you're my... sister?
我什么都没说
I'm not sayin' nothin' to nobody.
难以置信
Unbelievable.
她去世前我去医院看过她
I saw her in the hospital right before she passed,
她从没提过她有个女儿
and she never mentioned a daughter.
她只说看看冰箱里面
Just said, Look in the freezer.
这说不通
Well, that makes no sense.
-痴呆症对吗 -癌症
- Dementia, huh? - Cancer.
一样的
Same thing.
那让我搞清楚
So, uh, let me get this straight.
她留下了你
She kept you?
我猜你不想听到这个但没错她留下了我
I guess it's not what you want to hear, but, yes, she did.
即使在坟墓里
Even from the grave,
她都找到了让我难受的新方法
she's finding new ways to stick it to me.
冻豆
Frozen peas?
她为什么要我找这个
Why would she want me to find these?
你知道当妈妈的喜欢蔬菜
Eh, you know, mothers and vegetables.
不好意思我必须接一下
Excuse me, I got to take this.
喂洛林
Yeah, Lorraine.
-接通他 -你能相信吗
- Put him on. - Can you believe this?
她不要女儿要儿子
She didn't want the girl but kept the boy?
我们是在中国吗
Where are we, China?
我们不告诉他钱的事吗
Don't we have to tell him about the money?
不你疯了吗
No! Are you crazy?
但他妈妈告诉了他冰箱的事
But his mom told him about the freezer.
是的他得到了一袋豆子
Yeah, and he got a bag of peas.
皆大欢喜
Everybody wins.
但是现在我们戒瘾了难道不该非常诚实吗
But now that we're sober, aren't we supposed to be rigorously honest?
在钱上不该
Not when it comes to money.
很抱歉
I'm sorry about that.
很快有个审判
Got a trial coming up.
真的吗
Oh, really?
你犯了什么罪
What'd they get you for?
我是律师
I'm the lawyer.
那你厉害了
Oh. Well, la-Dee-da.
律师太酷了
A lawyer. That's so cool.
-其实我在学... -别废话
- You know, I'm actually studying to be... - Not now.
听着我不确定我们该做什么
Listen, I'm not really sure what we're supposed to do here.
这是我的名片
This is my card.
给我个电♥话♥ 如果你们...
Give me a call if you ever want to sit down
想坐下来谈谈
and... I don't know... talk.
我没有名片
Well, I don't have a card,
因为现在不是1947年
seeing as it's not 1947.
她总是这样吗
Is she always like this?
不有时候她心情不好
No, sometimes she's in a bad mood.
我可以改日再来
I can come back another time.
需要什么拿什么
Take whatever you need,
但是如果你们发现了可爱黑人男孩的照片
but if you find any pictures of an adorable black boy,
别丢了
don't throw 'em out.
等等
Hang on.
这个现在说得通了
This makes a lot more sense now.
你丢了我少棒联盟的照片吗太无情了
You threw out my Little League picture? That's cold.
抱歉我们以为那是相框附赠的
Sorry. We thought you came with the frame.
好吧我走了
Okay, I'm just gonna go.
等等
Wait!
-我们在冰箱里找到了一叠钱 -不
- We found a bunch of cash in the freezer. No!
你拿走一半才对
It's only right if you take half.
一共多少钱
How much is there?
-大概六千 -三百五
- About six grand. - $350.
六千
Six grand.
没关系
It's okay.
你们留着吧
You keep it.
这是什么意思
What's that supposed to mean?
意思是我不需要
Means I don't need it.
而我们需要吗
And we do?
我们需要妈妈我们真的需要
We do, Mom. We really do.
我告诉你弟弟
Here. I got news for you, little bro.
收好你的怜悯吧
You can keep your charity.
我一辈子都没得到过那女人的帮助
I have lived my whole life without any help from that woman.
如今也不需要施舍
I do not need a handout now!
我对此非常抱歉