克丽丝蒂 怎么了
Hey, Christy, what's up?
妈 我正在前往冰沙店
Hey, Mom, I'm going to the smoothie place
因为我今天过得很糟 必须喝冰沙
because I've had a day that requires a smoothie.
你要一杯吗
Want one?
要 但我敢打赌我今天过得更糟
Yeah. But I bet my day was worse.
不可能 我老板让我核对一张合同
Not possible. My boss gave me a contract to proof
而我把它掉进了马桶
and I dropped it in a toilet.
虽然冲过了 但依然恶心
Post-flush, but... still.
我跟老公吵了三个小时
Well, I had a three-hour fight with my husband
中间没有愤怒的沉默 所以等于吵了六个小时
with no angry silences, so it's really like a six-hour fight.
吵的是新架 还是昨晚
Is this a new fight or an extension
你们吵的架的后续
of the one you were having last night?
新架 但有之前吵的架的余音
New one, but with subtle echoes of the last one.
同样的主题 他不听我说话
Same theme: he doesn't listen to me.
我真感觉自己像个鬼魂
I literally feel like a ghost.
天啊 如果你真是鬼魂呢
Oh, my God. What if you are a ghost?
如果你和我关系不佳
What if you and I had this difficult relationship
而我以为我们和好了
and I thought we had worked it all out,
但其实那只是你的鬼魂呢
but it was just your ghost?
没人能想到这个转折
Bam. Nobody sees that coming.
我要他跟我见面吃午餐 他说好的
I asked him to meet me for lunch and he said "Okay,"
但然后他去了健身房♥
but then he went to the gym.
我花了半个小时坐在硬长凳上
I spent a half an hour sitting on a hard bench
读《索诺玛橡子酒庄》杂♥志♥
reading the Sonoma Acorn.
顺便说句 芭芭拉·费尔德曼房♥地♥产♥公♥司♥
By the way, Barbara Feldman Real Estate
要倒闭了 一个时代终结了
is going out of business. End of an era.
妈 我们能喝几杯其实是
Hey, Mom, can we have this conversation over a couple
果汁奶昔的冰沙再聊这事吗
of smoothies that are really just fruity milkshakes?
好 记得在我那杯里加维他命精华
Yeah, but put a vitamin boost in mine
这样我就觉得健康了
so I think it's healthy.
好 没问...
Okay, you got...
不 不
Oh, no. Oh, no.
不 不 不
Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no.
怎么了
What's wrong?
不喝冰沙了
Smoothies are canceled.
极品老妈 第七季第八集
宝贝
Hi, babe.
你在哪里
Hey, where are you?
我们不是要带格斯去公园吗
I thought we'd take Gus to the park.
亲爱的 现在是周二10点
Honey, it's Tuesday at 10:00.
对了 互助会
Oh, yeah, meeting.
-戒瘾者们好 -不
- Hi, alcoholics! - Nope.
不是互助会 我在想什么啊
Not a meeting. What am I thinking?
你和女士们在喝咖啡
Uh, you're at coffee with the ladies. Uh...
-女士们好 -我在看心理医生
- Hi, ladies! - I'm at therapy,
你知道的 因为当你一个小时前问
which you knew because an hour ago when you said,
"你今天要做什么"时 我说
"What you got going on today?" I said...
你说要看心理医生 我听了
You said therapy. I listen.
你好 特雷弗 这不是真的 我是个好男人
Hi, Trevor. It's not true. I'm a great guy.
我们晚些时候再聊
We'll discuss this later,
先让特雷弗告诉我我有什么感受
once Trevor tells me how I feel.
我不会告诉你你有什么感受啊
I don't tell you how you feel.
这是你让我失望的另一种方式
Which is another way you're letting me down.
总之 前几天晚上我非常生气
Anyway, I got so irritated the other night, and--
我对此不自豪 我向他扔了一颗土豆
I'm not proud of this-- I threw a potato at him.
小土豆 我不是禽兽
A fingerling. I'm not an animal.
你认为你婚姻中的矛盾
Would you say the level of conflict in your marriage
最近加剧了吗
has escalated recently?
亚当和我是新婚夫妇
Well, Adam and I are newlyweds.
你知道人们怎么说的
You know what they say.
人们怎么说的 "已经三个月了
What do they say? "It's been three months,
开始扔小土豆吧"
let loose the tiny potatoes"?
你看起来有点激动 一切还好吗
You seem edgy. Everything all right?
我们不是来谈我的
We're not here to talk about me.
这规则最蠢了 我们是朋友
That is the dumbest rule. You and I are friends.
我们不是朋友
We are not friends.
我们八个月来每周二都聚会
We have been hanging out every Tuesday for eight months.
这不叫聚会
We are not hanging out.
我在指导你克服生活难题
I am helping you navigate your life.
正是 朋友就是如此 特雷弗
Exactly. That's what friends do, Trev.
拜托 随便告诉我关于你的一件事
Oh, come on, tell me one random thing about yourself.
比如 那不是你天生的鼻子 对吧
Like, that's not your real nose, right?
我不会跟你分享任何我的私人生活
I will not share anything about my personal life with you.
-如果我... -不
- What if I... - u202dNo.
你不能猜一些事
You may not guess things
然后试图解读我的表情
and then try and read my facial expressions.
那当然 因为你的新鼻子无法解读
Sure, 'cause your new nose is unreadable.
时间快到了
Well, our time's almost up
我想和你谈一件事
and there's something I'd like to talk to you about.
是你的健康问题吗
Is it the health issues you're having?
我一直在无偿诊疗你
I've been seeing you pro bono,
我认为是时候讨论让你付适度费用了
and I think it's time we discuss you paying a modest fee.
原来是经济问题
Aha. Financial problems.
是的 邦妮 我破产了
Yes, Bonnie, I'm broke.
所以我每周要你付35美元
That's why I'm asking you for $35 a week.
25美元 你不能花在拿铁上
$25, and you can't spend it on lattes.
35美元 我想怎么花就怎么花
$35, and I can spend it on whatever I want.
好吧 但你必须告诉我你是怎么花的
Fine, but you have to tell me how you spend it.
我不会的
I will not.
成交
Deal.
抱歉 我必须强硬点
Sorry. I had to play hardball.
假设问题
Hypothetical question.
假如你们撞了停着的车 没有产生损伤
If you hit a parked car and there's no damage,
你们会留下便条吗
would you leave a note?
你们不会的吧 不会的吧
You wouldn't, right? You wouldn't.
便条该怎么写
Well, what would it say--
"抱歉没撞坏你的车"吗
"Sorry for doing nothing to your car"?
赞同
Agreed.
完全不相关的假设问题
Completely unrelated hypothetical question.
你们觉得这算损伤吗
Does this look like damage to you?
我觉得你不知道"假设"的含义
I don't think you know what "Hypothetical" Means.
是的 以及"损伤"的含义 因为这个保险杠上
Yeah, or "Damage," Because this bumper
有磨痕 凹痕和擦痕
has a scuff, a dent and a scrape.
不可能是她做的 她一直和我在一起
She couldn't have done it, she was with me the whole time.
塔米 我不需要不在场证明
Tammy, I don't need an alibi.
相信我 你需要的
Trust me, you do.
我们在看《辣身舞》 那是你最爱的电影
We were watching Dirty Dancing. It's your favorite movie.
我以前没看过 但我完全被迷住了
I'd never seen it before, but I was utterly charmed.
我们点了中份芝士披萨 谈到了
We ordered medium cheese pizzas and then talked about
在60年代当犹太人有多棒
how amazing it must have been to be Jewish in the '60s.
我明天会说得更可信
I'll more be more convincing tomorrow
因为这些基本上昨天都在我身上发生过
'cause almost all of that happened to me yesterday.
所以你没留便条吗
So you didn't leave a note?
我留了
I did leave a note.
很好
Oh, good.
然后我开车回去拿走了
Then I drove back and took it.
经典的普兰科特操作 我们差点做了对的事
Classic Plunkett move. We almost do the right thing.
我就是慌了
I just panicked.
但我现在感觉很糟
But now I feel awful.
我一直在做噩梦
I've been having nightmares.
昨晚我梦到
Last night I dreamt
我倒车撞到那辆车 然后它炸了
I backed into the car and it exploded.
结果发现乔治·克鲁尼坐在车里
Then it turned out George Clooney was inside
最后我们亲热了起来
and we ended up making out.
我很内疚 因为我很尊敬他的妻子
And I felt bad, because I respect his wife so much.
你给她留便条了吗
Did you leave her a note?
亲爱的 我觉得你应该补偿那个人
Sweetie, I think you need to make amends to these people.
我真的希望我可以
Oh, I really wish I could,
但没办法查出那个人是谁 所以
but there's just no way to track them down, so....
翻篇 继续生活
move on, live my life.
你拍的那张小照片上有车牌