极品老妈第三季第五集

Mom S03E05

Part1

2020年1月4日 09:29

假设性问题
Okay, hypothetical question:
克丽丝蒂你不能回答
Christy, you can't answer.
我为什么不能回答
Why can't I answer?
我想回答
I want to answer.
随你便
Suit yourself.
我受够等待白马王子了
I am tired of waiting for Mr. Right.
如果我变成拉拉谁会跟我约会
If I went gay, who here would go out with me?
我不想回答
I don't want to answer.
我们也是拉拉吗
Are we gay, too?
或者只是在狂欢节上喝得烂醉如泥
Or are we just really drunk at mardi gras?
为了珠子
You know, for beads.
不管怎么样我都会
Either way, I'm in.
真的吗
Really?
她戒酒了而且很高这是我一半的要求
She's sober and tall. That's half my wish list.
拜托你没有放弃男人
Come on, you're not really giving up on men.
你只是有些消沉
You're just going through a little slump.
玛乔丽我一年多没和男人在一起了
Marjorie, I haven't been with a man in over a year,
说实话
and to be completely honest,
我关心的不是性♥爱♥
I'm not even concerned about sex.
我只是希望别人想要我
I just want somebody to want me.
我理解
I understand that.
我大概七年没有
I didn't have an intimate relationship
亲密关系了
for almost seven years.
我放弃了希望
I'd given up hope
觉得任何人都不会想要我
that anybody would ever want me again.
现在维克托不仅想要我
Now, not only am I desired,
而且还每周三次
Victor and I are having intercourse
有规律地和我做♥爱♥
three times a week, like clockwork.
真的吗
Seriously?
周一周三和周五吗
So, like, Monday, Wednesday and Friday?
周一周三和周六
Monday, Wednesday and Saturday.
我们周五喜欢看《警♥察♥世家》
Fridays, we like to watch Blue Bloods.
邦妮你想让男人注意到你
Bonnie, you want guys to notice you,
也许你得多卖♥♥点肉
maybe you need to show a little more skin.
是啊你的大长腿穿上短裙肯定很好看
Yeah, I bet those long legs look yummy in a skirt.
我也许还在想拉拉的事
I might still be on the gay thing.
我也能穿条热裤啦
I guess I could dig out the Daisy Dukes.
如果你要穿的话
Ugh. If you do that,
向我保证你这次会穿内♥裤♥
promise me you'll wear underwear this time.
别提了
Oh, just let it go.
别叫我别提了
Don't tell me to let it go.
我们再也没法回那家鞋店了
We can never go back to that shoe store again.
好吧
Okay.
够了
That's enough.
我们去付账然后参加会议吧
Let's pay the check and go to the meeting.
说句公平话妈
In all fairness, mom,
自从阿尔文去世后
you really haven't
你没有真正涉足情场
put yourself out there since Alvin died.
你父亲是别的男人望尘莫及的
Yeah, well, your father was a tough act to follow.
你真的很爱他对吧
You really loved him, didn't you?
我每天都想着他
I think about him every day.
真有爱
Aw, that's sweet.
你到底要不要付你的科布沙拉的钱啊
So you gonna kick in for your cobb salad, or what?
拉里怎么样他单身
How about Larry? He's single.
不我不喜欢改过自新的海♥洛♥因♥成瘾者
No, I don't like reformed heroin addicts.
他们太以自我为中心了
They're so full of themselves.
那愤怒的麦克呢
Okay, how 'bout angry Mike?
长♥期♥戒酒有份不错的工作
Long-term sobriety, has a good job.
算了
Pass.
我愿意跟愤怒的人约会
I'm willing to date an angry man,
但他不能还用翻盖手♥机♥
but not one who still uses a flip phone.
你不会跟他们约会
You're not dating any of them,
这只是练习
it's just practice.
是啊就像你14岁时
Yeah, like when you're 14
和帅表哥一起洗澡那样
and take a shower with your cute cousin.
去跟几个人聊聊天吧
Just go talk to a couple of guys,
恢复一下欲望
get your mojo back.
史蒂夫怎么样
Hey, what about Steve?
史蒂夫真的吗
Steve? Really?
是啊他很完美
Yeah, he's perfect.
他就像是有头发的心肺复苏假人
He's like a CPR dummy with hair.
而且你们不是亲戚
And you're not related.
好吧我去了
Fine. I'm going in.
拿着我的小饼干
Hold my triscuit.
瞧瞧那双美♥腿♥
Look at those legs go.
太变♥态♥了温蒂
It's getting weird, Wendy.
-好啊史蒂夫 -好啊
- Hey, Steve. - Hey.
我喜欢你的鞋
I like your shoes.
谢谢
Thanks.
我还有一双灰色同款
I also have them in gray.
真棒
Nice.
介意我坐你旁边吗
Mind if I join you?
有人把钥匙放在这里占座但是坐吧
Well, somebody left these keys here to save the seat, but... please.
极品老妈第三季第五集
会议很棒对吧
That was a great meeting, huh?
劳瑞跟父母重聚了
Laurie reunited with her parents,
山姆拿到了戒酒90天的奖牌
Sam got his 90-day chip...
一个接一个的奇迹啊
Just one miracle after another.
是啊
Yeah.
你注意到史蒂夫长得像海盗吗
You ever notice how Steve looks like a pirate?
什么
What?
不是邪恶的海盗
Not an evil pirate.
像是约翰尼·德普那种
More Johnny Depp-ish.
有那么一点点像吧
I'll give you the "Ish" part.
你知道你只用跟他
You do know he was just supposed to be
练习调情吧
somebody to practice flirting with...
我就在这样做啊
That's all I'm doing.
如果我能脑补他
It just helps if I can visualize him
喝着一瓶朗姆酒这样会有帮助
as somebody who'd be on a bottle of rum.
巴克斯特怎么了
Hey, Baxter. What's up?
几件事
Couple of things.
这周五我提前一小时
Is it cool if I drop off Roscoe
送来罗斯科怎么样
an hour early this Friday?
行啊
Sure.
坎迪斯和我要去庆祝
Candace and I are going out to celebrate
第一次约会纪念日
the anniversary of our first date.
真棒
Great.
我在葡萄酒乡村酒店订了房♥间
I got us a room at the Wine Country Inn.
很好
Nice.
这是个套餐
It's a package deal:
有香槟早午餐在房♥间里的夫妇按♥摩♥
Champagne brunch, couple's massage in the room.
不在乎巴克斯特
Don't care, Baxter.
你在乎的
Yeah, you do.
还有别忘了我们
Also, don't forget we've got
明天要去参加罗斯特的家长会
Roscoe's parent-teacher conference tomorrow.
别忘了
"Don't forget"?
你叫我别忘了吗
You're telling me not to forget?
你过去可是住在货车里
You, who used to live in a van?
你还因为没穿裤子而在沃尔玛里被捕
You, who was arrested in a wal-mart for not wearing pants?
这不公平
Not fair.
我是过去买♥♥裤子的
I was there to buy pants.
我才是负责的那个
I am the responsible one.
所以别给我打电♥话♥ 叫我别忘了
So don't call me and tell me not to forget.
你忘了
You forgot.
完全忘了
Totally forgot.
年度最佳母亲
Mother of the year.
真的吗
Really?
你想玩这个游戏吗
You want to play this game?
我不想
I do not.
六年级在哪里啊
Where the hell is sixth grade?
克丽丝蒂这边