在我上班的地方我们不能卖♥♥这个
Oh. You know, we could never serve this where I work.
煮过头了 而且很酸
It's over roasted and totally acidic.
乔迪 这是匿名戒瘾会
Jodi, it's an AA meeting.
咖啡只要不是伏特加就行了
The only thing this coffee needs to be is not vodka.
你知道你俩骗不了谁吧
You do know you two aren't fooling anyone, right?
你说什么呢
What are you talking about?
妈 大家都知道你和史蒂夫在约会
Mom, everyone knows you and Steve are dating.
-他们不知道 -知道的
- No, they don't. - Yeah, they do.
瞧见了吗 你为什么还要保密
See? Why are you even bothering keeping it a secret?
我不喜欢人们八卦我的私人生活
I don't like people gossiping about my personal life.
你一直八卦别人
You gossip about other people all the time.
我没有八卦 而是提供消息
I don't gossip, I deliver the news.
你怎么不跟你男友坐一起
How come you're not sitting with your boyfriend?
他不是我男友
He's not my boyfriend.
不 你们分手了吗
Oh, no. Did you break up?
我们从来没在一起过
We were never together.
跟你说过不会长久的
Told you it wouldn't last.
这就是八卦
This, right here-- this is gossip.
你们保证如果我坚持戒酒
Well, you guys promised me that if I stayed sober,
我生活中的一切问题都会解决
all the stuff in my life would work itself out,
神奇的是 这事终于发生了
and, amazingly enough, it's finally happening.
我的律所开始景气
My law practice is starting to pick up.
感谢这里的酒驾案子
Appreciate all the DUI cases I get around here.
最棒的是
And best of all,
我其实开始约会了
I'm actually starting to date.
少来了
Knock it off.
我开始跟一个超棒的女人约会
I started seeing this woman who's just incredible.
她性感又聪明
She's, uh, sexy and smart,
成熟
sophisticated,
有颗金子般的心
got a heart of gold...
不好 他出轨了
Uh-oh. He's cheating on you.
极品老妈 第三季第七集
-你在这里干什么 -躲起来
- What are you doing here? - Hiding.
躲格雷戈里吗
From Gregory?
他妈妈 她要跟我们住几周
His mother. She's staying with us for a couple of weeks.
你真走运
Oh. Lucky you.
她什么时候来城里的
When did she get into town?
三小时前
Three hours ago.
可怜的宝贝
Aw... poor baby.
你想在这里躲多久都行
You can hide here as long as you want.
谢谢 外婆呢
Thanks. Where's Grandma?
她去约会了
She's on a date.
跟那个律师吗
Oh, with that lawyer guy?
你怎么知道的
How do you know?
地球人都知道
Everybody knows.
我需要你的帮助
Listen, I kind of need your help.
你说吧
Anything, of course.
是吉尔 稍等
Oh, it's Jill. Just give me one second.
吉尔 怎么了
Hi, Jill, what's up?
我现在在跟我女儿
Okay, I'm kind of in the middle of something
有点事 我能不能
with my daughter right now-- can I...
她一点也没受到影响
Did not slow her down at all.
我回头给你打电♥话♥可以吗
Okay, can I call you back later?
好 谢谢
Great. Great, thanks.
你需要什么
What do you need?
格雷戈里的妈妈很想跟你还有外婆见面
So... Gregory's mom would really like to meet you and Grandma.
亲爱的 很抱歉
Oh, honey, I am so sorry.
我希望我能取消 无意冒犯
Yeah, I was hoping I could put it off. No offense.
没关系 换我也会想
None taken. I'd try to hide us, too.
我想着也许在周日
So I was thinking maybe on Sun...
抱歉 我得接电♥话♥
Oh, I'm sorry, I gotta take this.
乔迪 怎么了
Hey, Jodi, what's up?
我在匿名戒瘾会的互助对象
Girl I'm sponsoring in AA.
他是你老板
Well, he is your boss.
他可以告诉你
Uh, he's allowed to tell you
别在上班时打私人电♥话♥
to not to make personal phone calls at work.
那是他在对你嚷嚷吗
Is that him yelling at you right now?
等你休息或者被炒时
Okay, why don't you call me when you're on a break
再给我打电♥话♥吧 谢谢 再见
or you've been fired. Okay, thanks, bye.
人们会向你寻求意见吗
Wow, so people actually call you for advice?
酒鬼和瘾君子会给我打电♥话♥
Well, drunks and drug addicts call me.
他们都没有正确的判断力
Nobody with good judgment.
你未来的婆婆
So, uh, your future mother-in-law.
是啊
Yeah.
我想着我们周日晚上可以一起去吃晚餐
I was thinking we could all go out for dinner Sunday night,
她可以跟你见面 讨厌你们
she can meet you, hate you,
我们都在能九点前回家
we can all be home by 9:00.
首先 她不会讨厌我们的
First of all, she is not going to hate us,
我们会展现最好的一面
we'll be on our best behavior.
你会发誓我们已经脱胎换骨了
You'll swear we're other people.
其次
And secondly,
我觉得我们该在这里吃
I think we should do it here.
为什么
Why?
这是家庭晚餐
It's a family dinner,
我们该装作是家人
we should pretend to be one.
我想是吧
I guess.
拜托 不可能比我第一次
Come on, it couldn't be worse
跟巴克斯特的妈妈见面更糟糕了
than the first time I met Baxter's mom.
我知道 我最近才在看心理医生时说这事
I know, I was just talking about it in therapy.
你当时烂醉如泥 是怎么记得的
You were so drunk, how do you even remember it?
很简单 他们会给你发警♥察♥报告的复印件
Easy. They send you a copy of the police report.
有人订了大块披萨
Did someone order a large pizza
配菜是我吗
with a side of me?
真是个不错的惊喜
This is a nice surprise.
马上就要更好了
It's about to get a whole lot nicer.
你只是得决定你想先要什么
You just need to decide which do you want first?
记住披萨会变凉
Keeping in mind the pizza will get cold
但老娘的身躯会一直火热
but this will stay hot forever.
我想要你
Oh, I want you.
这是正确的答案 但我饿坏了
That's the right answer, but I'm starving,
所以我们先吃披萨
so we're gonna start with pizza.
我能跟你说我的一个秘密幻想吗
Can I tell you a secret fantasy I have?
如果是我 披萨和另一个女孩
Ooh, if it's me, pizza and another girl,
我要选女孩
I get to pick the girl.
实际上 我想让我们
Actually, I'd love for us
偶尔去吃顿午餐或者晚餐
to go out to lunch or dinner sometime,
像是正常的情侣一样
like a regular couple.
然后呢
Then what?
就这样
That's it.
我们会吃午餐或者晚餐
We'd have lunch or dinner.
那根本一道阴影都没有
That's not even one shade of grey.
史蒂夫 我有点喜欢
You know, Steve, I kind of like
我们现在的状态 别搞砸了
what we got going on here, let's not mess with it.
我也喜欢 只是
Yeah, I-I like it too, it's just, uh,
有时候我觉得你不想被别人看见跟我在一起
sometimes it feels like you don't want to be seen with me.
你说什么呢 不是这样的
What are you talking about? That is so not true.
我知道我们同意要保密
Look, I know we agreed to keep it discreet,
但是有时候我开始想着
but at a certain point, I got to wonder
我们是男女朋友
are-are we boyfriend and girlfriend
还是吃快餐的炮♥友♥啊
or just quickies and takeout?
你这口气好像吃快餐的炮♥友♥不好一样
Well, you say quickies and takeout like it's a bad thing.
我不是让你嫁给我 我只是说让我们
I'm not asking you to marry me, I'm just asking for us
偶尔去吃顿晚餐 也许
to go out to dinner sometime. Maybe...
去看部电影
see a movie,
在公园里浪漫漫步
take a romantic walk in the park.
我为什么总得做男人啊
Why do I always have to be the guy?
我有感情不代表我不是男人
Hey, just because I have feelings doesn't mean I'm not a man.
就是这样啊
Eh, it kind of does.
帮自己一个忙 把你的感情留给日记吧
Do yourself a favor-- save your feelings for your diary.
不是日记
It's not a diary.
是日志