Every morning, I wake up
and for about two seconds,
I feel pretty good.
And then I remember
that Jodi died.
And I'm trying to be grateful
for those two seconds,
but I can't.
I just hate this disease.
I hate it that it took our friend.
I hate it that I'm going to twice as many meetings,
and they don't seem to help.
I don't... even see the point anymore.
Thanks. That's it.
Why are we clapping?
Who else would like to share?
Unlike everyone else,
I just found out about Jodi's death yesterday,
so instead of grieving with all of you,
I was on a cruise ship to Alaska.
That's not the choice I would have made...
...but that choice was made for me.
I just wanted you to enjoy your honeymoon.
Hey. This is my share.
Anyway, right now I am so angry and frustrated
that I can't even get to how heartbroken I am
over losing that sweet little girl.
I'm Bonnie, I'm an alcoholic.
Last time I losomebody,
I started using again.
As I recall, it didn't go well.
Went on a three-day tear,
almost destroyed my relationship with my daughter,
and, as a parting gift,
I got a DUI.
So if I start acting squirrely, do me a favor:
show me my mug shot.
That'll do it.
Am I the only one who's eating this pie?
Too sad to eat.
Isn't that what pie's for?
Let's just get the check.
If I'm gonna be miserable, I'd rather be alone.
Usually, when you're miserable, I prefer that you're alone.
But maybe this time, we do something different.
Something to get our minds off of Jodi.
No, I'm not talking about drinking.
An opportunity recently came across my desk.
You don't have a desk.
All right, it was a text message from an old colleague.
You don't have colleagues.
Do you want to hear this or not?
There's a certain substance--
that we can buy in Canada
for pennies on the dollar,
smuggle back here and sell to my colleague
for an enormous profit.
Our friend just died of an overdose
and you want to smuggle drugs to get over it?
I'm not talking about drugs.
Then what are you talking about?
I don't understand.
Is that a street name for something?
No, it's the actual name.
You mean the stuff you put on pancakes?
Or waffles, French toast...
Ooh. Have you ever put it on bacon?
No, that sounds good.
Even turkey bacon.
先涂上一层 然后放进烤箱 温度为350度
You glaze it, then you put it in the oven at 350...
女士们 女士们 专注
Ladies, ladies... focus.
My guy says
there's a lot of money to be made
for anybody who's willing to... how shall we say...
get their hands a little sticky.
But maple syrup isn't illegal.
It is when it fell off the back of a truck.
Wouldn't that just make a mess?
It's a saying, Wendy.
The stuff is stolen?
You put a little butter in that... forget about it.
Oh, for God's sake. Never mind.
No, no, no, I think this might be just what we need.
How much money are we talking about?
If we each kick in $500,
we clear five grand apiece.
That kind of money would really solve a lot of problems.
Tell me about it.
I need a new purse.
Okay, I got our contact's name in Canada,
$1,000 in cash and some pepper spray,
just in case things go sideways.
Mad Libs or Travel Yahtzee?
You're kidding, right?
This isn't a camping trip, it's a smuggling operation.
We could end up in jail.
I don't care. I'm breaking bad.
This is usually where you get all judgy,
rat me out to Marjorie, and then she's all,
Bonnie, you need to think about the consequences.
Well, Marjorie hates me now,
so we're talking a walk on the wild side.
With healthy and nutritious snacks.
Motherhood ruined you.
Hey, I am willing to commit a felony,
but I refuse to sit in a car with you
when you have low blood sugar.
是吗 我不想跟你坐同一辆车 就这样
Yeah? Well, I don't want to sit in a car with you, period.
好吧 我听到了 给我个胡萝卜
Okay, I just heard it. Give me a carrot.
Take 'em all.
Look at us.
Sneakin' stuff across the border, just like the old days.
Yeah. We are a couple of badasses.
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